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Thanks, Elley!!
I needed that....

If I do great things and have all knowledge, but don't have love, I am nothing.

And what is love?



When all has died away, three things will remain. These are faith, hope and love. And of these the greatest is love.


Whatever your stance on the bible, surely you got to get a buzz out of this passage.

This is called Love with Compassion. Lustful love is empty "love. Seeking ones own Higher Good at the expense of others.....?

That's what I think too, Smoky
Now I want a hug!

You too, Guiri!!

Except I don't think "lustful love" seeks Higher Good.... it just seeks Good For Me (sometimes if the person is a nice person - and let's face it, most of us are - they tell themselves elaborate lies to make it look like proper love to them, but if they go around recklessly hurting the person they "love??", it isn't.)

Got to disagree with you here, I'm afraid...
Are you saying the act of sex is "an empty love"?....if you are, how cynical is that!
The act of sex is not always initiated for purely selfish reasons, surely?...sometimes lovemaking can be pure compassion, not passion... There are many reasons for making love, the "selfish orgasm" being only one of them...JMHO

that sums it up.

you love, you're vulnerable but guess what? you don't care!

Real Love is unselfish.

To truly love somebody you must be prepared to let them go.

To cry at your own loss, rather than be filled with joy at the newfound happiness of one you have loved and still love in your heart, is totally selfish.

To be human is to feel both these feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- the knowledge that somebody you love has found happiness elsewhere makes you happy -

the knowledge that you have lost something you valued makes you sad and filled with a yearning regret that no amount of rational logic can overcome!

Absolutely true.

breezee wrote:

Love is:
patient
kind
it does not envy
it does not boast
it is not rude
it is not SELF-SEEKING!!
it is not easily angered
it keeps no record of wrongs
it does not delight in evil
it rejoices in the truth
it always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres...



I was replying to what BREEZEE wrote....

.... not to the Act of Sex, per sè.

Needing purely a bit of affection and sex, some people can put on one hell of an act that lasts for only the duration of satisfying themselves...... It has no staying power, it doesnt even want to stay around, needing to keep travelling and seeking......... That is what I call "empty lustful sex".

Yep!!

And Lago, I think you'd be hard pressed to find Anyone cynical (or stupid) enough to say that "the act of sex is (always) an empty love"..... but sometimes, quite often, it is.

Thank you for being perceptive enough to realise that I am not a completely selfish uncaring idiot - it is true, isn't it?

We are all human beings and we sometimes have conflicting emotions.

I heard a very good 'piece' on the radio today by some very clever lady psychologist about 'cognitive dissonance'. She even used George Bush as an example!

She said that even when we KNOW that we are wrong it is biologically in our own interests of survival to try and rationalise our mistakes as, if we have conflicts withing our own perceived valued systems it makes us less able to function; i.e. if we spend hours EVERY day worrying about whether we are right or wrong we are unable to get anything done constructively.

This is a dating site; if we question our actions in minute detail and moan to ourselves constantly 'If only I'd done this or said that things would have worked out' we cannot accept that maybe 'it just wasn't meant to be'.

Where things have not worked out the way WE want them to we should allow the memory and the perceived love we had for other people to be put aside peacefully.

What we go through emotionally in our emotional 'wars' is as nothing to what leaders of countries have to go through.

How difficult it must be for a leader to admit to himself that he could have been wrong; that his decision has cost the lives of many fine young men and women?

I would imagine it would be easier if one was a dictator, but very hard for a democratically elected leader such as the President of the United States.

How could one admit one was wrong and face living each day if you felt such terrible responsibilty - the death of thousands of your country's fine young men and women and the anguish caused to the surviving grieving members of their families?

We think we suffer when we lose in love and it is hard to admit we are wrong; how much more one must suffer as a leader in world politics if you have to admit to yourself, let alone anybody else, that your judgement caused the wrong decision to be made?

There is a beautiful song I heard on the radio today ..... I think its called "HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT, MR PRESIDENT?"

Realy, do you realy imagine that a politician has any difficulty with their conscience?

I once, before elections in SA, attended each political partys Election Campaign Speech night ..... And leaving each one I was fully convinced that THAT was the ONLY sensible party to vote for!

Hi Rob, are you referring to me or just in general with this? - you've quoted me. I lost somebody irreplaceable and have struggled with that loss, but I don't think you know that. maybe just being a bit paranoid here.

I think believing that you're going to find a panacea to all your woes in another person is pure folly, don't you?

No way was I talking about you!

I was talking about us all - or a large percentage of us!

I've only been totally, insanely 'I'd gladly give my life for you' in love twice in my life........ once as a young man with the first love of my life and many years later with my second of three wives.

I feel that kind of love is rather dangerous - the most awesome experience imaginable when BOTH people feel the same way and also TOTAL HELL ON EARTH if it ever ends; for it to have happened not just once but twice in my life and to have lost that wonderful gift almost destroyed me twice over -

took two years the first time as a young man and quit a financial career to masochistically join the Army;

the second time almost destroyed my ability to even function physically on 'auto pilot'.

I have NEVER been suicidal but I certainly had no desire when I went to bed each night to have the agony of waking up the next morning when the spark of life had been 99.9999999999999999% extinguished in my very soul.

Love is the most wonderful gift we, as human beings, can ever give or receive in our short individual journeys on this planet. Should we find it, we need to guard it with all the power we possess - with every single flicker of energy we can muster.

To lose such a wonderful gift is like losing anything and everything we could ever want - and, because it is a gift freely given, we can never buy love or force another person to give back that gift we openly gave.

I have to admit that true love does SCARE me.......... losing true love once is bad enough, twice was almost unbearable - three times would be too much to cope with in a single lifetime!

I concur completely with Rusty on this one. I too have been madly in love twice and lost both to a couple of scoundrels who only wanted a bit on the side. I too did not care very much if I woke or not the next day. Indeed, I could have written exactly what Rusty has word for word, wierd.

How did Ayn Rand put it again?


To Love Is To Value!

Tell me you're loving Someone/Something without VALUING Them/It!

I have only been in love - the sort of love you (Elley and Rob) are talking about - once in my lifetime and don't think I could feel like that for another woman again. I think the very most I could hope for a second time is some form of deep affection.

I hope you don't believe your own words!

Love is an eternal spring bubbling from an infinitely high mountain.

The bubbling spring of love can NEVER run dry.

You must open your heart and submit to the knowledge that love shall one day find you and take you in its arms and you must not resist because you need to have that source of life and wonder back inside you.

You may imagine that that bubbling spring has all dried up, but just because you have chosen to close your eyes and look the other way does not mean it has.

Relax.

Feel good about yourself.

Do not seek love, but be willing to accept it back into your heart when love comes knocking on your door.

I have to admit that loves scares me, but I would not dare deny it could 'slap me upside the head' anytime, anywhere!

Ok - maybe I just wrote a load of bullshit,.........

but to say you can't imagine ever feeling that way again is like saying:

'My life is as good as over - I await only to die to escape this empty feeling'

I am with you on this one Lagoona.

Besides, what comes first sex or love?

When there is attraction, it is a physical attraction, so sex precedes love. If the couple see that there is compatibility and attraction, then that might develop into love. But surely love does not fall out of the sky like the proverbial mannah.