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From a beautiful relation with love and intimacy I saw my self fall apart and lose so much faith in myself that I gave up my own right to the happiness in our relation.

It is very simple, after a number of things going downhill, you start to feel that the only thing that keeps you going is her, what ever you bring into the relationship your self is bad news and depressive thoughts.

A very dangerous spin downwards and I chose to break up before I brought her with me.

Here is a broken heart, in spite of a woman full of understanding and support but with a man not able to receive it and turn into the needed energy. Or it has been simply too many outside factors straining the faith of a future.

Yes I broke my own heart by leaving but was dying inside seeing myself taking her high spirits to sub levels every day, every hour every minute.

To take up the sword and fight your self back into normality and “dateability-mode” is tough if even possible.

Best whish? To have it all back to where it was. But ghosts would haunt my mind of fear for tearing down all the beauty again.

CS is a saviour as long as I keep to my side.

The poll is:
Do you feel fully responsible for loosing a great relation or, by tipping the weight slightly, more the other part?

Only relations where there was a strong feeling of love and affection would apply here...!

Sounds too sinister.

It's like i know you...

You need to get out of the dreams you live of. Life is not a dream. Don't go extremely deep otherwise it looks like you are in a grave. Just touch the ground...without any shoes on for a while...

Nobody is perfect, we need to accept critics that people who love us address to us so to evolve.
There is no problem in crying, but don't be a victim...

Shake yourself as to wake up and try to sort your lover's worries instead of making yourself a victim out of her worries.

Are you a disaster? Then help yourself by starting to look to life in the accurate layers of it!

I think sometimes (or most times) we stay in a relation where one act an energy vampire instead of stepping out of it.

In my case we were in two different stages of life, me in my career her in her beginning of one. My input did not help her get going with hers, and she would have suffered a life time for investing her energy in keeping me going. To realise this hurts and I had to step off that love train.

Disaster? Failure? Looser? Well, the words have been flashing in my mind, but I do not believe that. I know what I once built with my hands. And I know I was good to her and I enjoyed being it.

It is just, that sometimes you find yourself simply wrong - I did, and it is what scares me. I have touched the earth, dug my toes into it, felt the cooler soil with under. I have loved and still do. I liked being loved. But it was the love I think that made me walk.

We all come back, too many proofs of that. Possibly even a stronger, wiser person, one to avoid becoming such a danger of ruin things, avoid letting our naked skin be just that bit too naked.

There must be a limit to trust and dependence, where we force our self to add a bit of strength. Living alone was never hard, relations was. When I decided to invest all of my self, I failed keeping the strength I had as a single. In here I think lays my mistake, I am still exploring the true nature of loosing my confidence in my self, but I feel close to it. Simple slapsticks does not sort this out, it takes its time.

But not socialising with people is not the way out.

I had been there and very good understand your feelings.I thought I will die,felt in depression and all time can't to understand why????We both loved each other,were good to live together,but because he had a problems,decided to live alone.For me that was like a hurricane,which swept me like the litter into the corner...Still don't think that this was a good idea to broke heart for loved one.If we love,we'll love that person with problems too,and is a lot easier to solve them together.But just me was thinking like that,and from then we not together.He still have the same problems,and I at last feel free and happy again
You are right-is easier to live for singles,but happier to live with beloved.And if they love and trying to understand each other,to care about each other,both are open and talking about what they like and dislike,what they want in life,all problems can be solved.
But life is wonderful.When doors are closed,God open the window....Just need to keep your eyes open to see it
Good luck,EnSilensio ! When the time comes,you'll be happy again

Being a good partner is like schooling...it needs practice to understand its rules...
If you want love (foundation) abide by its rules...

Indeed, nowadays, everything has to be weight, distance, profession, costs. Love is all that...otherwise it won't happen. Isn't love it the head?
Anyway, keep passionate about everything till you die of pain 'cause your heart can't handle the it...or maybe it's worth the pain? Nah, it depends on how you perceive life.

How to get rid of your broken heart or how to get her back?
If it was we were in the last century, i'd say: if you both love each other, be together. But we need to rationalise it all...excluding stubbornness and pride.
Broken heart...give it some time...

PS: take lessons from that pain.

In here was the actual problem, solving them together took energy from her as well as from me. But she had an important path of life to walk or fail, I would not want to be reason to the latter. As cristina sais, there are so many variables into life today, that we need to evaluate all, including bringing on the pain for the better.

Yours, a view from the other side, thank you for letting me see!

Isn't love in the head

...'cause your heart can't handle it

mayve "love" worth the pain



If only people could view love (foundation) as a very profitable business where sitting on the table for finding better solutions was a practice...every constituency would be working on a better solution even if it takes meeting of hours!
I need a chairman for myself

Who doesn't??

Lets deserve one by keep working on ourselves huh?

Every relationship needs brains. If yours are the only ones working...double the work to keep it functiong

When I turned up at CS Christmas day last year I was a goddam mess....

I don't know what happened because this site made me so sick sometimes, like many people, I would leave (and then come back) but slowly slowly I found myself and how I felt, where I stood on many issues related to this kind of happiness and fullfilment....

Give it some time, EnSilencio.... things will sort themselves.... you may even find that the thoughts and theories you had held little water, were created for no good reason by your mind....

I totally don't mean this in a bad way.... I only read you in the forums for the first time today and I really very much like your clean, intelligent honesty.... but sometimes we need to slosh bu88shi8 around in our brains for a long time before we get sick and tired of it and begin to simplify and look at the essence of things....

There is nothing, in my opinion, that can't be sorted if the good will is there to help sort it....

Welcome, btw...

i ain't never had my heart broken and never will... well, maybe i have a little and will a little more before the end... but what the heck.... life without love is tedious... you gotta keep goin'.. gotta keep believing and you ain't never gotta give up on love.

Well I on that for sure.

I just found the vote break down link. Now this will become interesting

went through your profile...the final version i suppose...i knew i knew you!

one week in silence

I had what? A year of silence ;)

You did not read my reintroduction, did you?

shut up!

"ensilencio" got it all!

How am i suppose to survive?

One breath at a while. Like all of us. And dont walk in my shoes.

I once read....that receiving love is much more difficult than giving it. So...I guess, the one with the most *fears* will pull out first... even if it is something good. Maybe even, the more good it is, the greater the fears become......

Yes sir