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Ok, I got you were talking several.

For the rest, still dumbfounded. But again, that IS my middle name.

As any of you that have re-read my profile by now may know, I'm seeing someone from CS.
He's great - warm, open-hearted, kind, chatty, interesting - he's given me his hand to hold and I couldn't be happier.....
Trouble is, for the first time, I get these huge tsunami waves of sadness that wash over me. They don't last long (couple of hours) but they come again and again - sometimes as often as three times a week - and they are getting to be too much.
I was still very much against having a relationship when I toppled into this one.....
But I now very much want to stay in this one..... and instead of beng well behaved - which would help - I've got WEIRD!!!

Is there anyone out there that can relate to the weirdness, has experienced it, could tell me when I can expect the weirdness to subside....

I think you need a good slap.....

...may I ??



Right...now that we have that out the way, I think you need to see a shrink....there's no way in the space of a thread that anyone here could give you a useable answer to help you....Sounds to me like you have issues which are so deep, not even you know why you feel that way....and you shouldn't feel that way if things are coming together in your life. That's not a normal reaction. get someone who can analyse you and help you figger out why. Once you know the why's, you can deal with it. Remember, all successful therapy is self-therapy in the end. The therapist doesn't heal the patient, the patient does...

hey breezee

could be the weirdness is actually fear... fear of pain or sadness.
somehow you correlate your current situation with difficulty maybe. I understand you completely. I've currently toppled into a relationship myself...and for the first time, maybe ever, the feelings I have are totally different from anything I've experienced. The only thing is, I suffered a horrible break-up about 2+ years ago now, that took me nearly that long to get over...it was the most difficult thing I'd ever experienced. The memory of that, and the idea that it could end in the same manner causes me similar feelings to what you may be going through. I have to fight pessimism and allow myself to enjoy the beautiful romantic situation I'm in...which is what I so wanted. Often, when we get weird, I think its related to some past pain... But love like anything, is a risk...we have to jump in and give the most of ourselves without fear...though some reservation is perhaps beneficial to the relationship. When I find myself getting weird, I try to ignore or fight the feeling, and turn it positive. Its worked so far, but part of me still fears the pain, and I often find myself fighting with the fact that I'm totally in love. There I go...I admit it...I'm in Love, damn it!

Yeah, thats a wonder Conrad

Hi Breeze

And congratulations with your new relationship

So glad to hear that!!

And of course you get weird. Your life is changing at the moment - you think about the the future and the past at the same time - your values and wishes: "am I on the right path now??"

And at the same time experiencing the happiness of being with another person, who seems to be good for you.
No wonder you are weird right now, it is a part of falling in love.

For how long depends of course on how things will work out in the future. But if you have found the right man, I guess no doubt will stay in your mind for very long.
You are telling your single life goodbye, the time with 100000 options, dreams and quality time for yourself, and saying hello to something different, and hopefully just as good.

So all you need is good luck girl

Kitty

Oh yes, completely weirded out! It's so easy to go completely nuts but so very difficult to retore sanity when things are over. It is as though a completely new and previously unknown man has emerged from within. But as I said, once the paste is out of the tube it's mighty hard to put it back in.

Yep,don't I wonder.

Might I add that pain is the biggest power of love...the highest one can go and lowest one can fall.

I think I understand how you feel Kitty.

Hey Breezeeeeeeeeeeeeeee dearest.....

It is absolutely normal to feel that way but i'd rather say that you feel a bit confused, until you can be sure enough how to handle your new pattern in your love life.

All depends on the individual how long you'll feel this way but i wouldn't stay waisting my precious time feeling weird.

Instead, keep your head high, feet on the ground and go for it gal.. My Very Best Of Luck..

Lago I agree about The Slap!! You're probably right about the shrink too but it'll have to wait.... don't forget, sales are still on here.... no sense wasting good money on shrinks in July!!

Ekspain I totally relate to your post. I "pre-live" a breakup about twice a week and I panic and get scared and want to end it all on the spot Good to know I'm not the only one feels this way And thanks for the encouragement - much needed

Kitty and Marti thanks for your down-to-earth, positive, unbelieveably hopeful and encouraging words of explanation and advice.... I wonder if you can imagine how good / calm you've helped me feel

Also got some private mail from CS friends and want to thank them too, for thinking of me.

You've made me feel (not for the first time) that I have friends here on CS....

Thankyou so much,

Voula

************
It seems to me like you may have "hold over" issues from your last relationship (the reason you didn't want to get into another one) which are still there and now your conflicted. Part of you really wants what you have and the other half really doesn't. Until you solve the problems that still linger I can't see the situtation getting better. The "weirdness" seems like the part of you that doesn't want the relationship trying to mess it up so that the person your seeing leaves YOU and solves the problem for you.

(just my 2 cents on the whole thing)

I can safely say in all honesty that for me this is not the case.

It still amazes me that I happened to stumble onto this guy on CS or that he even exists, for that matter. He is the kindest, most understanding person I've ever been with. We can talk about anything and when there's a problem between us it's always talked out in a loving way. I've never had that before and I don't think there are many people that have ever had it at all. Why would I ever want to lose this?

I'm more with Ekspain. I irrationally worry that this is too good to be true and that it will end and that I'll be powerless to stop it ending.... because the relationship is precious to me, just like a child is precious to its mother, leading her to have irrational fears of something bad happening to it.

Breeze how wonderful!!!!

I've only just come accross this thread ... didn't see it when first posted ... read it from the beginning and the first thing that sprung to mind (before I had read today's post) was one of the reasons for "the sadness" being "unshed" tears from the past ... you may still have inside you, some tears that you didn't shed because at the time you had to be strong and "keep it together" ... Now you are in a "safe loving environment" your heart/soul knows it can safely cleanse/heal itself. Because you don't give into the sadness you feel, it turns into "fear" and "the old pattern of break up etc. come and merge with your present ... if you embraced your sadness, acknowledge it, validate it and released it with tears when "it hits you" within the safety of your current loving relationship, you would be amazed at how healing/cleansing it is. Your current partner sounds like the kind of guy who would understand the process if you explained it to him ...

Once you start "releasing" it will bring you closer still and " the fear" will fade away ... meaning you can feel and live in the "now" and the beauty of it ...

BTW, I also think that "fear" is an issue of "trust" ... When you trust that both of you will work on themselves in whichever way is needed to keep you loving relatonship loving, the fear disappears. So you have to trust yourself and trust him and vice versa.

***********

I honestly hope it works out for you, it's what we all hope for in a partner :-)
Just keep us in mind here at CS, we're here for you always....

Wild, savage, crazy in a funny way...yes, but weird
having in mind all the people surrounding me...I wonder and wonder and wonder why they say on TV that every 2 out of 5 people are weird

Wonderful Ekspain, it s high time more men do open up and say how they feel about....which helps a lot to the general relationships of true love, not just pretending to be tough. My deepest respects

I can relate to this one.. I kinda new from the beginning that my ex and I wouldn't be quite happy in our relationship, but IGNORED THOSE FEELINGS! They always come back to get you in the end (those ignored signs). Six years on, we are moving on, finally.

Wierd ? - no, but if its a good relationship then I likely to be out of my "comfort" zone, likely to be challenged by what's not familiar. And I think thats a good thing in a relationship.

Yes.I was.When I was in a relationship I felt exactly weird.This was only in two relationships.In the others I didn t feel it.