Whats the pros N cons of dateing a Single Mum/Dad??

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Jan1305 Sunshine and vino, Murcia Spain
Sat Jan 10, 2009 7:30 PM CST : Whats the pros N cons of dateing a Single Mum/Dad??
Now I´m glad I had my kids very young and they are adults, so I never had to suffer these problems.

My kids only want to advise me, they are often more sensible than me!
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Sommerauer71 Salzburg, Salzburg Austria
Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:36 AM CST : Whats the pros N cons of dateing a Single Mum/Dad??
phoenix: Hi sommer..I'm serious. I had one of the BF's of the enemy trying to tell me what I could and could not do with my monsters..And the enemy backed him up...Sometimes in life you have to do un-necessary things. I was diplomatic and exausted every other avenue first.One of the best pro's is using the other person as a sounding board...Ask them how they sorted out things or how they came to terms with certain situations..Or how their kids reacted to the separation..

One of the biggest cons is you have everything planned for a weekend away/out to dinner with your new BF and junior stubbs this big toe and is balling his eyes out.Dilemas...

Not excatly a con but a worry. If things started to work out and you both have kids with other people. Will the kids get on.And more imporantly how will they(his kids) react to you and vice -versa. But before either of you meet each others kids. Sort the ground rules out. The 'role' each of you will play or are prepared to play in each others 'kids' lives..

In a nutshell doesn't annoy me and I don't think about it as such..Only because of ther break down of the families today,you can nearly always take it for granted that there will be kids in the back ground from 30+...IMO


I know you are serious, gorgeous, even if a person did try to tell my children in 'parental' way, I am not possessive over them, I do not own my children and I would prefer them to have no acrimony in their lives, they do not, we kept that to a minimum, there were problems when he first left me, for his woman, but with me taking a step back it worked.

Getting belligerent with her, would have done nothing, it would have made her mad, me and the children are then surrounded by mad people, there are ways of making a point without being belligerent.

And if she had taken it too far, I would have approached my ex husband and told him nicely, to have a word with her, but for us two, we managed to get through it, my daughter was not keen on her at first, but I knew that he loved her, and I talked my daughter into being nice with her.

They are all very close now, have been for some years, and that is they way I want it to remain.

I suppose because I have always had many other people's children in my life, that I was more generous with my own.



bouquet
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guiriman south of milan, Lombardy Italy
Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:32 AM CST : Whats the pros N cons of dateing a Single Mum/Dad??
i agree with Sommer here...also i think in such an emotional situation you have to try to decide if your actions are for your children's sake or for your own ego.. i know how easily it is to get hurt in this situation and consequently to become confused ... but as long as you genuinely act out of love for your children things should work out... sounds trite maybe ... but i think the last thing any parent will want is to put their children into the middle of an emotional battle field.. whatever has gone on between the parents, the children are the innocent party and don't deserve to suffer the emotional fall out..
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Sommerauer71 Salzburg, Salzburg Austria
Sun Jan 11, 2009 6:36 AM CST : Whats the pros N cons of dateing a Single Mum/Dad??
guiriman: i agree with Sommer here...also i think in such an emotional situation you have to try to decide if your actions are for your children's sake or for your own ego.. i know how easily it is to get hurt in this situation and consequently to become confused ... but as long as you genuinely act out of love for your children things should work out... sounds trite maybe ... but i think the last thing any parent will want is to put their children into the middle of an emotional battle field.. whatever has gone on between the parents, the children are the innocent party and don't deserve to suffer the emotional fall out..


No they do not, children suffer enough when parents split up.

Then getting involved with new partners and stamping our flags on our children as our property does not either.

They ae not our property, they are our children, and should have loving relationships with both parents. All too often parents use their children to emotionally assault the other, in any split and I refused to do that, it was painful for me, so how could I make it painful for them?

If I was struggling to cope as an adult, how the hell were they going to? Even though kids are smarter than us at times.

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wedward linz, Upper Austria Austria
Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:31 AM CST : Whats the pros N cons of dateing a Single Mum/Dad??
there are no rules only common sense should prevail and most of all be honest with children
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