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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

Hello and thanks for reading this. First may I make a little comment about the ladies from my own part of the world "Scotland"? Has the 20th century not reached the female population yet, or are photographs yet to be invented in Scotland? I know it's the big scary machine with the glass bit. Bit for goodness sake!! I can't go on!! Sorry!!
After looking at the other men on this site, I think I'll give it 1 month and go. I'm neither desperate or a chauvinist Pillock. Thank goodness, I've dropped my glasses, now I'll have to find a vintage coke bottle to replace the lens!

I can dance, no, not just jump around, I am a qualified dancer, ballroom and Latin, so if you want to trip the light fantastic, or just lambada the night away, then give me a call or flower me.

Oh and yes I am that dreadful age of 52, when a man becomes too old to date anyone. Lets face it, at 52 your face falls off and your hair disappears, teeth, what are they? Pass me that walking stick!!! I will be getting my electric cart any day now. So if you are not interested, or someone who lives more than 5 yards away from you, is too far away , please go right past this profile right now!!! Oh and I am willing to relocate, if love is there I'll sell up here and buy a flat, shack, hovel near you. Don't worry I have my own hair and teeth! At least they were on the bed table this morning!
May I also add I am a reasonable person. Who enjoys the finer things in life. I love nothing more than relaxing to the sound of the ocean or the rain on a warm evening. I admire anyone who can play an instrument or sing. To produce beauty like music from your hands is amazing.

Oh I smoke too, terrible!! Shocking"" should be taken out and shot at dawn!!! I should be giving up, cough cough!!! Ooops there goes me heart again, pass the defibrillator paddles please

I'm looking for:

A nice, thoughtful lady with all sorts of ideas of how to make life that little bit better for the two of us. Someone feminine but able to get the dungarees on for some Do it Yourself.

May I add? Is it too much to ask in the 21st century for you to have a photograph? What is it with the anonymous people here? If you have something to hide don't advertise on a dating site. I can just imagine the first date! You know who she is, when she walks in the room with a paper bag on her head!! I know that sounds disrespectful. But what have you got to hide? And if you do reply please try to be courteous. And if I make the cardinal sin of sending a flower to a non smoker, please forgive me, and try to be courteous in your answer. I know smoking is bigger sin than taking the lord’s name in vain to some people. But being smart and boorish in your reply does you no favours, and only exposes your true nature. All I can say is a smile and a pretty face can hide a hideous personality.

I am looking for a lover, friend and listener. Someone who shares everything. By that I mean if you have a problem then share it with me. That way we can work it out quickly.
Someone who has not completely set them self in concrete and is willing to take another walk around the park and see that the air is still fresh and the flowers are bright.

Someone who wants to spend the summer vacation exploring the village in the morning and sipping fresh fruit drinks by the pool in the afternoon.