About me: To get right to the point and through the chase, I don't want to meet you for sex alone and I am not looking for a one night stand because if its good than I want more than just a night. I want a man who has enough time and discipline to get to know me, how soft my body, the type of cologne I like, the flowers and plants I like, the places we like to shop...notice I said we...just joking...at least know me... tell me my favorite color with out asking?
I'm looking for: A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. So she put an ad in the local newspaper that read:
WANTED: HUSBAND.
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME.
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?' the widow said. 'Just look at you - you have no legs!'
The old gentleman smiled, ' Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
'You don't have any arms either!' she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed??'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'I rang the doorbell, didn't I?'
The wedding is scheduled for Saturday.