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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

I'm 61 years old,have never been married,have no brothers and sisters and I am the sole caregiver for my 91 year old mother.If this situation is one that you cannot understand,respect and accept,then read no further.
If you're still reading,then good for you.I would like to meet a nice lady to spend some time with.She should be good natured,good looking,honest,kind,selfless not selfish and have a great sense of humour.Too much to ask??...we'll see....Ya know I've been giving this whole thing some thought....Maybe some nice lady would like to adopt me....Like you would adopt a pet....I'd make a great candidate....Here's 10 reasons why...
#1..I can be walked without a leash....I'm too old to run far....
#2...I can open my own cans of pet food....and change the water in my bowl....
#3...I'm toilet trained....no need for a pooper scooper....
#4...I won't dig holes and bury bones in the backyard....
#5...I don't bark at night....at least after nine....
#6...I'm too old to chase cats....so,I probably won't get lost....
#7...I have short hair....so,fewer fur balls....
#8...If,I'm not allowed to drink too much,I won't throw up on the carpet....
#9...I will not lick myself in front of guests....
#10...I'm not given to flatulism....so,I won't embarass you when relatives drop by....
So,what do ya think?
You MUST have a picture...NO PICTURE..NO REPLY..Maybe,it might be better if you write me first...your instincts at love are probably a lot better than mine....

I'm looking for:

When I have a little more time....I will say more,but it would be nice if she were,kind,intelligent,with strong moral values>(that leaves all you ax murders out)...it doesn't matter if she has children...as long as they're out of the house...I'm too old to baby sit....