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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

Tired of this world, tired of life, tired of people and their illogical natures; the world seems to hold little charm for me. Strangely (or not) still and only intrigued by most things intellectual, and striving in this direction (hopefully). I am also the most nihilistic person I know. Like Maugham’s Weeks, I very earnestly disbelieve in almost everything that anybody else believes. I am also one of the most self aware, as well as one of the most rigorously un self-deceived persons I know. I am slowly coming to the realisation that in the battle between free will and determinism, the latter is the more philosophically robust. Knowing this, a being able to be rational 100% of the time would not be judgemental or misanthropic, and yet I am unusually able to reason and at the same time emotional/instinctive enough to recognise that just because I know people can’t help being who they are, it doesn’t make me dislike them any less. No one I’ve known well is as resourceful, pushy, tenacious, and pugnacious as I am – a born fighter, you might say. Or merely a survivor? I seem to equate the two, somehow. What keeps me going? • The thought that I can end it any moment I wish to. • Being less emotional and therefore less desirous of affection, love, and the good opinion of others; which also affords me fewer obstacles in the way of achieving intellectual originality and freedom. • Books, needless to say, and soon, hopefully, intelligent persons to discuss them with at university. I’m not putting all my hopes there as after all I will be studying in the States and not Europe, but hey, anything’s better than Taiwan!
• A lot of time to devote myself to reading and thinking, but as yet little writing (yes, I am planning to improve on this, too)
• Beautiful clothes, luxurious fabrics, quirky archaic objects, freaks as friends, freedom from bourgeois values

I'm looking for:

YOU SHOULD MAIL ME IF
1. You’re as gutsy as I am (I’ve never met my match, as everyone thinks of courage in physical terms or in the terms the so-called mental health professionals call emotional courage – neither of which I am talking about, although the latter comes a little closer to my meaning – but one never knows); 2. you have the ability to be rigorously logical;
3. you’ve few attachments or none, to morality or ethics; 4. you’re as intelligent (preferably more so) than me; 5. your email’s content is something worth responding to; 6. you’re better read than me;
7. you’ve had existential, emotional, and analytical struggles that you’ve more or less won or intend to keep working on; 8. you’re international (no, travelling widely but never settling in another country for a year or more does not count); 9. you can handle someone unusually pugnacious like me, and still hold your own; 10. you’re in Taipei or in NY State and need someone to listen to/discuss with an intellectual discourse worth my time;
11. you’re in NY State and are British and well read or a natural piss-taker like me; 12. you’re ready to send money or favours my way (and you’re trustworthy – i.e. you don’t lie, like me) just because I’m highly entertaining, original, higher-than-average intelligent, eccentric, and fearless; 13. you’re almost wholly unsentimental.