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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

By choice I don't date. At all. As in zero. For the last 15 months I have been in this mindset..

I am only on here for meeting friends and networking. I've been single the better part of a decade, happily. I am not jaded, heartbroken, pining for someone else nor desperate, nor dysfunctional. I am pleased with my very full life as it stands today, and it's taken me a lot of years to get to this point. So please don't feel offended if I don't want to run off to Europe and elope, ok? (seems like I get several emails a week asking for encounters or phone calls from guys who want a serious thing)

I am not in a place to find someone, no interest, no time, got bigger fish to fry than to hunt men. ( I am writing a book, working on a second career, finishing an upper level degree, and making time for my rapidly growing kids and great friends) If I ever did work on a relationship, it would have to be slowly and probably would be in timing in a three or four years or so.
Although I do want, once my last child is out of the nest, to go and work in a third world country for a year or two. I am going to Africa to work on a short term stint for two weeks in the fall of 2009, to test this out.. if I like the experience, I will consider going for six months or more when my children are gone. I would like to find friends... (and that means a platonic friend, not a "friend with benefit" deal)... because life is richer with more people. By trade, I am a freelance writer, and though I do have some great friends all over the planet, writing is solitary work, (hence my involvement with Connecting Singles- which keeps me in touch with a larger portion of humanity...)

I'm looking for:

I suspect if and when the time came, I would be a different person than I am today, so this may change. But typically, I am drawn to intelligent, well spoken men, with a large bank of life experiences. Kindness and compassion for others and the need to leave a mark on the planet are always qualities I look for in anyone, and character issues I seek to employ in myself. Desperation, clingy individuals or those with few personal goals are a huge turn off to me... My ideal match would inspire me to be a better person, not force me, nor drag down my heart or goals. I want to leave a mark on this planet, and I would suspect my "ideal" would be one who feels similar. I ask myself frequently, "What am I doing to make the most of life for myself, for others, for God and where can I improve"? I would be in direct opposition to anyone who "needs a relationship" or who has little drive and ambition. Not that these folks are wrong, but rather, the very pulse of who I am is diametrically opposed to needing anyone. I would like to someday, if the right man comes along, to want him, NOT need him. That should be a compliment.