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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

Hola,welcome2my world haha
If u think I'm goin2give my addy out after just a couple of messages,u've got more chance of platting fog. I'm a down to earth,open minded kinda woman. I'm also a lil crazy,i spend 23 hours a day in a straight jacket.If it takes me a while to reply2yr mail,don't worry i will reply to all,within reason.It's just down2the fact i have2type with a pencil between my teeth,so i can hit the keys.
I have one son, who is my world,a bit mad like his mum haha. I've4mental puzzy's too nj ei gu dyfb ./;'][ gfnji, oops just had 2chase one2get my pencil back.Have u ever tried running with a straight jacket on? Grrrr.I've got mystic who sleeps with all the toms in the street.Tart!Molly aka- psycho biatch,she is evil n rips anyone to bits that goes near her.Brandy who thinks she's a dog,runs around the house with batteries or razors in her mouth. And whisky who pisses down the bath plug hole,he's male n doesn't put the plug back when he's finished!Lol
I'm an honest n out-spoken.
I can act like a lady n think i scrub up well.But I'm only human, when i wake up on a morning-i look like sh1t.I burp, i trump like everyone else.N once a month I'm a greasy,spotty,bloated,slightly bad tempered chocolate munching monster.
I've got a cheeky,funny n some times a little crude n rude,sense of humour.
I'm not interested in web cam fun,fcuk buddies-I'm not on here for a shag.
So don't ask,as a punch on the nose often offends Hahaha FIRST DATE:well we could go for a drive in my 3 wheeler van, but only if it's not windy.
Then go to the park n throw bread at the ducks.The dam swans are 2fast. (Please provide own bread) Then to the pub for couple of shandy's.N2finish the evening off we could go for a nice meal at Tescos.As long as i can have the club card points lol)
Or paint balling, I've never done it.N if we don't end up likin each other on the date,at least we can shoot the fooke out of one another (in a paint-balling sense)I'm not that psycho!!

I'm looking for:

Just looking for friends, if my mr right comes a long, i'll stop sitting in corners and sniffing glue lol