owenwood this profile edited for your protection

pouting at the idea of a stereotypical "Long walk on a beach"

About me:: DESCRIBE YOURSELF: Technically speaking, if someone were to be "De-scribed", doesn't that mean their writing ability would be somehow taken away? I should "de-scribe" myself??? How? Why? For what end? For whose twisted, sick, perverse pleasure should I strip myself of my ability to write... And how would I do that anyway? Chop off my own fingers?? Send away for that Home Lobotomy Kit I saw advertised on late-nite TV? I so doubt that's going to happen. I enjoy a Traveling Broad, people who buy me drinks and thinking there's someone out there whose ready to turn ideas into reality... I mean besides myself. Obviously.
I'm looking for:: MY IDEAL MATCH: It would be a wooden shaft with a water-proof, sulfur tipped end, that when struck would produce a flame which could light a campfire, a Djarum Black, a joint, a fuse (you never know when you need to fire a cannon), or a candle... Because it's better to do that than curse the Dark... Unless you have Turret's Syndrome in which case you're going to curse regardless of how many goddamn matches I light. Stupid-F-ing-Match. Oh yeah, in terms of a girl looking to meet a guy, I'd want someone whose every chat reply isn't LOL, OMG, or some other anachronistic anagram (look it up), someone who has a webcam and knows how to use it, someone who doesn't date just because they have no life skills or money of their own. No stalkers, please.

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owenwood

this profile edited for your protection

I am a:: 35 yr-old man
Seeking:: seeking women, 18-38
Location:: Portland, Maine USA
Last Online:: online today!
Height:: 6' 1" (185 cm)
Body Type:: Slim/Slender
Hair Color:: Dark Blonde
Eye Color:: Blue
Ethnicity:: White/Caucasian
My Her-It-Age...? Well, there's no her, so I can't tell you it's age. Thanks for asking me a stupid question. Got anything you can waste my time with?
Education:: Some College
My education or Training? Yes, I'm house trained. I almost never pee in the hamper. Or in the bed. Unless it's a special occasion.
Religion:: Agnostic
I created God in my image.
Occupation:: Retired
Gigolo
Income:: No Answer
Smokes:: Regularly
Drinks:: Regularly
Marital Status:: Never Married
Has Kids:: I have no kids
Wants Kids:: Probably Not
Looking for:: Long-term
Sign:: Aries

Seeking:: seeking women, 18-38
Located:: Any Distance
Height:: 5' 0" (152 cm) to 6' 0" (183 cm)
Body Type:: Slim/Slender, Fit/Athletic, Average, Skinny, Modelesque, Firm & Toned, Proportional
Hair:: Any
Eyes:: Any
Ethnicity:: Native American, Asian, Hispanic/Latino, White/Caucasian, Pacific Islander, Mixed Race
Education:: Any
Religion:: Any
Occupation:: Artist, Entertainment, Fashion/Modeling, Finance, Medical/Dental, Retail, Student, Teacher/Professor, Technical / Science / Engineering, Architecture/Interior Design, Communications/Telecom, Computer/Programming, Design/Visual & Graphic Arts, Entrepreneurial/Start-up, Internet/Eccommerce, Non-profit/Volunteer/Activist, Personal Care/Beauty, Publishing/Print Media, Real Estate/Insurance, Science/Research, Writer/Journalist
Income:: Any
Smokes:: Any
Drinks:: Socially, Regularly, Rarely, Occasionally
Marital Status:: Never Married, Divorced, Widowed
Has kids:: I have no kids
Wants kids:: Probably Not, Not Sure, No Way, Someday, No, and seeking same