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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

I am NOT the perfect male. I am divorced ,if I were perfect I wouldn't be divorced now would I. I gave up on the 50-50 relationship, because that meant someone was keeping count. A new measure of 100-100 could be a goal, but realistically I don't think that is ever attainable. So much for psycho-babble. I'm just another bozo on the bus trying to survive. I don't think I can take myself too serious now. I don't want to try to measure up for a widow because it seems they were all married to Mr. perfect. But on the lighter side, I love laughter, irreverence, my daughters and grand children. I enjoy my work and being around people. I enjoy all kinds of music as long as it is played well. I don't think hip-hop is music. I just shake my head wondering if any male could possibly live up to the fairy tale existence that you ladies are looking for. Glad it is not me. I can scatter a few eggs, smash some potatoes, and grill a burger...that's the extent of my cooking skills. I was never allowed to touch the stove after I received 3rd degree burns one time trying to cook. I shrunk up all the knit sweaters of my daughters, after they turned pink...just like my underwear...they told me not to touch the washing machine again.!! I am mechanically inclined though. I have re-built a few engines.
This typing is tedious. So much from me. All my photos are recent. OH.. I can nuke a mean potato, does that count? This is the only honest I know...nothing sugar coated here. Also, one more thing...no one will ever be accused of laughing AT me...because I am already laughing at myself...and you are only laughing with me.

I'm looking for:

"A STRAIGHT-RAZOR-TOATIN-WOMAN, WITH HIGH HEEL SNEAKERS A RED DRESS AND WIG HAT ON. Slim, slender, self confident, sexy with self respect. A sense of humor and wit. A STRUTTER...QQ!!