About me: ...you know...
1.) I'm not here so you can get your weenie polished, knob pulled, shorts grabbed, fluids drained, fetish card filled, diapers changed, your green card or your internet girlfriend fix... (*smooches...)
2.)Most things in life I can find a way to laugh at. That might mean I'm laughing at you, right now. Yep, chances are high, so you'll have to find your own way to deal with that.
3.)I don't smoke. I can't tolerate it. You could be the most desirable human on Earth, but if you smoke you will never touch these lips. I live a healthy lifestyle & surround myself with like minded people. If you ask me to party, don't be surprised at the response you get. It comes with no bandaid.
4.)If you want to impress me, be someone I can look up to.
5.)I like, no... make that love cookies... and a good cup of coffee. *Awww hell, and a great meal.
6.)Geeks rule. I just wanted you to know that. *pulls up striped socks...
7.)I'm always looking for proof, that the good ones haven't been eaten by dragons. So far I got a few over sized foot prints & a pile of dino dung.
8.)I do amazing things with my body. Stop that, you pervs... I'm not talking sexually. *geesh... (*hmmm... then again)
9.)Everyday I get tougher. I've been through hell & yes, I have the t-shirt. Katrina was only my warm up for real life. Don't test me. I have gloves & a wicked southpaw. 10.) ***My IM is by private invite only. Deal with it!*** This is not negotiable... seriously!
11.) I bathe regularly (*sniff, sniff... mmmm, nice. Again, everyone should try it.)
12.) I'm a mighty cook (*arrrg...rawr...)
13.) You can be your little bratty self around me, I won't make fun of you (..."much"...)
14.)I'm opinionated, creative, oddly insightful, and sometimes quite spooky. (It's ok, I got my good-guy undies on.)
I'm looking for: ...where's your head?
Did you wake up this morning & ask yourself "self, are we going to be fools today?" If you didn't, maybe you should have. If you did, you're starting to creep me out a little... but that's ok. At least we're on the same page.
Do you drag a cup of coffee around until your brain sparks up & says "hey, dimwit... this is cold. Put it down or refill it" ?
No? No, you don't put it down or no, your brain never sparks. Either way, the creeping me out thing is starting to apply again.
Yes? Cool. That means you probably still have hot coffee on right now. Pour me a cup, will ya?
If you had to choose between eating glass or molesting President Bush, what would you do & why?
Did you seriously contemplate those two? Ok, that's it. Go sit in the corner & stop wasting your life on retarded thoughts. The second the words "president bush" came up, you should have fast forwarded. Seriously... fast forward. No cookie for you.
... and that one man who proves all the good ones haven't been eaten by dragons, he just set that bar pretty high for the rest of you. :P