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About me and who I'm looking for

About me:

Hear ye, Hear ye, fair ladies of the realms, there was a theft in the night! A fair lass appears to have stolen a man’s heart!

The man whose heart was stolen has kindly asked that said woman return it and is in search of any woman who fits the bill. The man in question has been known to frequent Renaissance Faires, or take long hikes in the woods. He can also be seen indoors making jewelery, or modding his computer. He has been described as brutally honest, commiserative, chivalrous, and perhaps a little crazy. This man will often search out ways to make others laugh, and if there is humor anywhere, he has been known to seek it out. He has also been known to be spontaneous, able to make plans at the drop of a hat and even go on ahead without much of a plan. One of the main ethos in his life is “Fake it” which he shows in all aspects of his life. He certainly is not picky about his music, listening to classical, classic rock, reggae, jazz, renaissance music, ska, punk, Irish punk, and more. He is a musical pirate, so ladies should be warned of his dangerous song and dance numbers. His voice is flatter than the open sea on a windless day. Writing is one of the passions he feels in life and loves to seek others’ opinions on his works. He also loves to use his horseless carriage and quite often pushes it too fast. One should be warned: The best way to get a hold of exactly who he is is simply to meet this man face ta face. This 'interblag' and simple words cannot convey simply who he is fer his actions be quite animated and this cannot be demonstrated through either instantaneous messaging or this 'elektronik' mailing. For indeed, this 'interwebs' is not a truck for him to dump things it. It is a series of tubes...

I'm looking for:

The maiden was last seen within the realms of the Americae, not more than 75 miles from the shire of College Park in the Duchy of Maryland. She was described as being no older than twenty and five, possessing eyes beautiful enough to make men melt with but a glance, and a smile bright enough to blind. She has been known to possess a sharp wit and quite often will slay a man with little more than this dangerous tool. She is a kind soul who loves to smile and laugh often. She is known to be quite beautiful, especially on the inside. She is not afraid of the outdoors, nor is she completely unfamiliar with the alchemy of modern times. All women who believe they fit this description are asked to seek the man out, in case they took his heart without realizing.