my 1st haiku for cs

by fugitive432Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Sep 2014 677 Views 13 comments

my 1st haiku for cs

Author: fugitive432

silence is footprint
of leaf shorn from branch
before the winter

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Posted: Sep 2014

About this poem:

5-7-5, right?
Please tell me I got it right.
But no, ... no compliments necessary.
& I probably should stop going crazy with the ease of publication on this site... (?)
But it is a real privilege, and I must be sure not to abuse it.

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Comments (13)

SCatlynBrecon, South Glamorgan, Wales UKSep 20, 2014

It's gorgeous!!!

Cat

fugitive432OPToronto, Ontario CanadaSep 20, 2014

Thank you Cat !!! and nice hearing from you

Spartacus2012Biloxi, Mississippi USASep 20, 2014

Enjoyed the haiku Fugitive..

Ken

Mizzy4Navan, Meath IrelandSep 20, 2014

Lovely poem Fugitive,
But in my opinion
the format is 5.5.5 as the
middle line has 5 syllables not 7.
I'm not being critical
just honest.

Mick.

niah9Auckland, New ZealandSep 20, 2014

I made a mistake too, but its often the only way to learn...and the words are magical..loved it...Kathy

SCatlynBrecon, South Glamorgan, Wales UKSep 20, 2014

Well, I don't care what it is, please keep it!!!! (And of course, go for as many of the other haikus as you want - I think there are actually quite a few forms... but I'm not a poet

- so just listen to me on how great it is-not the technical stuff)

Fabuloso!!!

beautifulyouNew York, USASep 20, 2014

just lovely fugitive,
this is quite soulful

fugitive432OPToronto, Ontario CanadaSep 20, 2014

Either you are all deliberately setting out to make me fall inlove with you, or it's quite unintentional. Whatever the case...

we need an emoticon of a female bearing a bouquet of flowers so that gals like me could offer them

then again, maybe girls aren't supposed to give flowers (?) So many mysteries in this universe....

ImagineLoveVenus, Montana USASep 20, 2014

We still love you!

online today!

socrates44San Fernando, Trinidad and TobagoSep 20, 2014

I think it is a very good first haiku, (making allowance for Mick's comment).

To me, the essence of the piece captures the spirit of some of the haiku of the original Japanese masters like Basho, etc. I like its simplicity of language.

"Haiku is a finger pointing at the moon,
if the hand is bejewelled,
we no longer see that to which it points."

elo69santa cruz, California USASep 20, 2014

Its beautiful,something to be proud of....short little conjunction words that we use so habitually in English ,is,the,and,or,its,ect ...ect are not used traditionally.

beyond syllables or technique though,the feeling of what you created,its place in the vast cycle of nature and human perception is very much in tune with what I personally like and enjoy about Haiku.

have a nice day.....elo...

Happygolucky4uTreasure Coast, Florida USASep 21, 2014

I actually like your first format....not all haikus are five seven five... a haiku is meant to be able to be said in one breath. You seem to have everything that is required of a haiku so you my friend did wonderful.

fugitive432OPToronto, Ontario CanadaSep 21, 2014

It's a pleasure to learn all these things about the little haiku that I wrote. Without sharing pieces they often go to the back burner without having had any tillage to speak of, ending the writing process. Thanks for joining in. What a treat!

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