What do you think about a man who is staying halh a day on little clear sites and on forums? ( Archived) (26)

This is not a perve site, as such, though the one they call Tru may be.

Oh and Jack.

i don't think this is something that strangers online can sort for you. at best, their answers will be projections based on their own experience and not yours. as well...if you want someone to pick a side..both sides need to be represented.

i do think if you want to know what a person cares about...
look at where they spend their time and money.

i have no idea why he's spending so much secretive time on the internet. i do know when making decisions, there's only two choices...

love <------------->fear

i would ask myself though...
if it bothered me that he was online a lot, would i prefer him to be doing it infront of me, or while i was busy...


i would also ask myself...should i focus on what we are doing together, or should i focus on what he does without me...

one tends to get what they focus on...

in your posts, i think i hear doubt, complaining, distrust.
doubt, self-doubt, doubt of others...such an awful place to be stuck in.

is this something that you can just have an honest conversation about it with him?
if not....that might be your answer right there.


hoping you find your happiness

Thank you Jac. I cannot love such a man? I see no dignity and respect, staying closed upstairs with his internet. And why when I am entering he is changing the desktop image, if he has nothing to hide?

Just tell me one thing... where are these dodgy sites??

Your too young kid

Thanks, Jac. that's all somewhat a littler clear, to me, now....

Jac! How could you? I'm mortified ... not to mention heart-broken!

Bluewave, I think you probably need to step back from the idea of a relationship for the moment, and focus on self-awareness and self love.

You should never have entered into such a shabby, careless home so unaware. You seem to be victimising yourself with someone clearly disconnected from reality, and your relationship is not going to change that. The poor communication and secretiveness shows an unhealthy lack of openness. You are only going to become increasingly unhappy.

Other people do not fix what ails us. We cannot expect someone else to bring us happiness. We must bring happiness with us. We cannot fix what ails someone else, that must start with them. You cannot make him happy, and he is looking in the wrong places for it.

(The above does not at all mean we should not support each other in times of profound difficulty or crisis)

You need to find yourself, and your potential for happiness, before you enter into a relationship expecting to find happiness. If you had done this, I think you would have left his house soon after entering it. I am thinking the clues indicating failure of happiness were already there when you first arrived.

I feel sad just thinking about what you are doing to yourself. When you approach a new relationship with a healthy amount of self-happiness and confidence, you will see differently, and find yourself in much better situations.

your mans actions sound dodgy to me.
Follow your instincts!

He must be lonely.