How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.
yeah ya are...fine that is
if your feeling down...the best i can do is a virtual hug
twazzle70THE GORGOYNES......, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK689 posts
I say "im fine" even if the sky is falling in and im in the worst shape ever....Force of habit i suppose,,,besides,how many people in reality are truly concerned if you say you arent "fine".... The majority of the human race are too wrapped up in theyre own lives and issues to be worried about other peoples..I.M.O....But regardless of this "im fine" I think..
twazzle70: I say "im fine" even if the sky is falling in and im in the worst shape ever....Force of habit i suppose,,,besides,how many people in reality are truly concerned if you say you arent "fine".... The majority of the human race are too wrapped up in theyre own lives and issues to be worried about other peoples..I.M.O....But regardless of this "im fine" I think..
I'm sure most of us do that. Oh and plenty would care actually.
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.
A "Hi, how are you?" from a passerby or acquaintance will always get a "I'm fine thanks, how are you?" from me even if I'm in turmoil. I suspect most folks who ask may not want to hear about someone's troubles unless they're someone who truly cares about you. Only those who come across as genuinely caring folks will know a little about how I'm doing and even then, I will hold back a lot because I don't want to impose on them.
2intrigued: A "Hi, how are you?" from a passerby or acquaintance will always get a "I'm fine thanks, how are you?" from me even if I'm in turmoil. I suspect most folks who ask may not want to hear about someone's troubles unless they're someone who truly cares about you. Only those who come across as genuinely caring folks will know a little about how I'm doing and even then, I will hold back a lot because I don't want to impose on them.
I have a problem with honesty but I will say I'm fine and smile and jump up and down if I'm asked by someone who is clearly suffering.
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.
I had to think about this for a micro-second---hmmm....(I couldn't vote because the choice wasn't there..) I would say I am fine more often than not, probably about 70 to 80 per cent of the time.
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.
Aaah, it's all about feeling rules.
We have to be sad at funerals, happy at parties and fine when we're asked.
We habitually try to suppress our feelings and as a result often become unable to recognise them any more.
rohaan: I had to think about this for a micro-second---hmmm....(I couldn't vote because the choice wasn't there..) I would say I am fine more often than not, probably about 70 to 80 per cent of the time.
Me too rohann. I'm not sure what that should have been listed under but it doesn't indicate whether or not you were truly fine.
RainComeShine: Me too rohann. I'm not sure what that should have been listed under but it doesn't indicate whether or not you were truly fine.
Oh you! Now we have to parse levels of fine...OKAYYYYYYYYY
1. 10 percent of the time I am not at all fine. (Rough) 2. 10 percent of the time I am simply not fine. (Course) 3. 20 percent of the time I am veneer grain grade. (Fine) 4. 60 percent of the time I am final polish grade. (Super-fine)
RainComeShine: Jac would you say there was a difference in men and women when it comes to saying we're fine when we aren't?
There's bound to be.
It's socially unacceptable for women to express anger, except through crying. The more oppressed women are in their particular society, the more this prevails.
It's more socially acceptable for men to express hurt through anger because 'boys don't cry'. Hence the angry return mails when we say, "Thanks, but no thanks."
There's bound to be emotional work to conform to gender role expectations with the feeling rule which leads us to say, "I'm fine", but perhaps men and women are suppressing different emotions according to those expectations.
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave. When first we practise to deceive!" Canto
LoletteLe Mans, Pays de la Loire France1,691 posts
RainComeShine: How often do we say that we're fine when clearly we are not? We may say it because we know that others are far worse off than ourselves or because we don't like confrontation.
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.
You can say you're fine to people whom you judged could do nothing to sort you out,, but to real friends who knows you well, you can be true and honest, it could be a temporary relief.
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I'm Fine!(Vote Below)
We may say it in order to convince ourselves that we're fine.
We may say it because we're proud.
Sometimes perhaps we should just say. Actually I'm not fine.