Confidence (47)
RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
Nature/nurture etc
Some may be born to be confident, others the shy retiring type.
However I do think parenting plays a role in ones' perception of oneself ..
My mother congratulated me for everything I achieved and we celebrated all milestones through my growing years ..
I know I was lucky to have that support and encouragement, her belief in me was a foundation stone for my confidence through life and the knowledge that I could achieve whatever I set my sights on.
And I hope I have passed that on to my children
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I've always been the shy retiring type and it's never done me any harm
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RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
hi rain,, sounds segragation,, don't know,, been to public & private schools ,, it doesn't bring any tangible thing on my personality ,, but some expert says,,
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serene56: Nature/nurture etc Some may be born to be confident, others the shy retiring type.
However I do think parenting plays a role in ones' perception of oneself ..
My mother congratulated me for everything I achieved and we celebrated all milestones through my growing years ..
I know I was lucky to have that support and encouragement, her belief in me was a foundation stone for my confidence through life and the knowledge that I could achieve whatever I set my sights on.
My mother was a very forceful woman and taught us to explore. She made us think we can do anything if we put our minds to it. Maybe she was too extreme as I have to admit feelings of insecurity quite often.
And I hope I have passed that on to my children
However I do think parenting plays a role in ones' perception of oneself ..
My mother congratulated me for everything I achieved and we celebrated all milestones through my growing years ..
I know I was lucky to have that support and encouragement, her belief in me was a foundation stone for my confidence through life and the knowledge that I could achieve whatever I set my sights on.
My mother was a very forceful woman and taught us to explore. She made us think we can do anything if we put our minds to it. Maybe she was too extreme as I have to admit feelings of insecurity quite often.
And I hope I have passed that on to my children
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Lolette: hi rain,, sounds segragation,, don't know,, been to public & private schools ,, it doesn't bring any tangible thing on my personality ,, but some expert says,,
I went to a C of E Church school and this has made me very mindful of others. Probably a little too mindful.
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Serene from Rain Come Shine
The second half of this comment is mine. the reply thing didn't kick in.
The second half of this comment is mine. the reply thing didn't kick in.
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RainComeShine: Serene from Rain Come Shine
The second half of this comment is mine. the reply thing didn't kick in.
The second half of this comment is mine. the reply thing didn't kick in.
It also wrecked the content by scrambling it out of context.
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Obstinance_Works: Basically too much esteem and confidence leads to hubris and the hubristic are history's ultimate losers. These are people who underachieve and fail to a profound extent.
Thanks for your comments. There is a big question mark over the comment the Surgeon made. Unfortunately when a Public School child fails they have much further to fall in society.------ This poll is Archived ------
RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
Confidence because of things worked for and achieved is a good thing. Some kids are brought up to have the feeling of entitlement, which mightn't help them as they grow older and have to stand on their own feet.
I do admire people who work hard, get somewhere and display confidence. Unfortunately, some losers will try to knock them. Be confident, yourself and happy and that will shine through methinks.
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I think some people mixed confidence with extrovert personality. These people believe that confidence show with bragging and loud talking. But when people bragging and loud talking, this could means many things, such as protecting themselves, feel threatened, feel scared, cover up their failure, convincing themselves, feeling sorry for themselves, etc. In psychology, there is a term called reaction formation. It is one of the defense mechanism in psychoanalysis from Freud. This kind of confidence is a form of reaction formation, which kind of a form of showing the opposite of what they think or feel. In term of confidence, either a person is introvert or shy, this doesn't mean that this person not believe in themselves and their ability.
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KNenagh: Confidence because of things worked for and achieved is a good thing. Some kids are brought up to have the feeling of entitlement, which mightn't help them as they grow older and have to stand on their own feet.
I do admire people who work hard, get somewhere and display confidence. Unfortunately, some losers will try to knock them. Be confident, yourself and happy and that will shine through methinks.
I do admire people who work hard, get somewhere and display confidence. Unfortunately, some losers will try to knock them. Be confident, yourself and happy and that will shine through methinks.
Yes but as long as we try our best with what we have available to us of course.
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sunsmile007: I think some people mixed confidence with extrovert personality. These people believe that confidence show with bragging and loud talking. But when people bragging and loud talking, this could means many things, such as protecting themselves, feel threatened, feel scared, cover up their failure, convincing themselves, feeling sorry for themselves, etc. In psychology, there is a term called reaction formation. It is one of the defense mechanism in psychoanalysis from Freud. This kind of confidence is a form of reaction formation, which kind of a form of showing the opposite of what they think or feel. In term of confidence, either a person is introvert or shy, this doesn't mean that this person not believe in themselves and their ability.
thanks for that great comment. You are very wise.
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RainComeShine: Yes but as long as we try our best with what we have available to us of course.
That's all anyone of us can do RCS.
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RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
When you stop and consider that confidence is a non-dirty word for power(personal power)the sensible person realises that you can have too much of a good thing after all.
I direct this at men who as men should know to not be so personal, to not simply look at how charismatic and confident a person is, but to actually consider what is objectively being brought to the table by them. The world is not built on confidence, personality, popularity and style alone - this is the way women think - no, there has to be some qualitative substance which backs up the confidence. It is a failure of modern manhood to not know the difference stylish charlatanism and substantial achievement.
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Obstinance_Works: When you stop and consider that confidence is a non-dirty word for power(personal power)the sensible person realises that you can have too much of a good thing after all.
I direct this at men who as men should know to not be so personal, to not simply look at how charismatic and confident a person is, but to actually consider what is objectively being brought to the table by them. The world is not built on confidence, personality, popularity and style alone - this is the way women think - no, there has to be some qualitative substance which backs up the confidence. It is a failure of modern manhood to not know the difference stylish charlatanism and substantial achievement.
I direct this at men who as men should know to not be so personal, to not simply look at how charismatic and confident a person is, but to actually consider what is objectively being brought to the table by them. The world is not built on confidence, personality, popularity and style alone - this is the way women think - no, there has to be some qualitative substance which backs up the confidence. It is a failure of modern manhood to not know the difference stylish charlatanism and substantial achievement.
And whilst I do understand that a lack of confidence makes some people inhibited there are as many people(maybe not online)who are excessively confident and uninhibited to the point of selfishness, greed and blindness to reality.
Without some psychological anchor based in substance which keeps peoples feet on the ground the confident go mad with power - so many players, financiers and salesmen I know are just like this and the girls love them to a man. The women look at them and 'ug' and *tingle* for their power, it's only normally men(including gay men)who question what they are actually doing with this power?
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What stands behind the confidence is the most important part I believe. Unfortunately I have seen many children been fed too much confidence by the parents and sooner or later the delusional state of their confidence boosted minds starts playing tricks on them.
Confidence should be based on one's abilities and detailed knowledge of certain things...
I gained my confidence slowly through life, with every single experience and achievement.
One should not forget to be humble as well, over confident people are often proved to be a hot air balloons...
JMO
Confidence should be based on one's abilities and detailed knowledge of certain things...
I gained my confidence slowly through life, with every single experience and achievement.
One should not forget to be humble as well, over confident people are often proved to be a hot air balloons...
JMO
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KremaP: What stands behind the confidence is the most important part I believe. Unfortunately I have seen many children been fed too much confidence by the parents and sooner or later the delusional state of their confidence boosted minds starts playing tricks on them.
Confidence should be based on one's abilities and detailed knowledge of certain things...
I gained my confidence slowly through life, with every single experience and achievement.
One should not forget to be humble as well, over confident people are often proved to be a hot air balloons...
JMO
Confidence should be based on one's abilities and detailed knowledge of certain things...
I gained my confidence slowly through life, with every single experience and achievement.
One should not forget to be humble as well, over confident people are often proved to be a hot air balloons...
JMO
I agree with this.
Over confidence to the point of being pompous and arrogant is a turn off for me but if one can be confident and yet remain humble, well....
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krema 
Correct, confidence is the result of one's accumulated knowhow, and shyness has nothing to do with confidence. There are people who don't learned much, either by study or by experience, yet are very confident in their ways of dealing with others. I think shyness is a character and confidence is a result of achievements, which sometimes deform certain individuals.
Correct, confidence is the result of one's accumulated knowhow, and shyness has nothing to do with confidence. There are people who don't learned much, either by study or by experience, yet are very confident in their ways of dealing with others. I think shyness is a character and confidence is a result of achievements, which sometimes deform certain individuals.
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triggs hi,, true , but some are possesed/conditioned by their success and achievements and turn unreachable at times,,, 
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Lolette: triggs hi,, true , but some are possesed/conditioned by their success and achievements and turn unreachable at times,,,
Hiya Lolette
Yep, that's another way of looking at it as well. Ain't nobody got time for dat...at least I don't. 
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Maybe you need to quit listening to that particular brain surgeon.
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I just can't stop being optimistic that this breed of confident yet humble people are more than the others, silently shining in life...
2intrigued: I agree with this. Over confidence to the point of being pompous and arrogant is a turn off for me but if one can be confident and yet remain humble, well....
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Lolette: krema
Correct, confidence is the result of one's accumulated knowhow, and shyness has nothing to do with confidence. There are people who don't learned much, either by study or by experience, yet are very confident in their ways of dealing with others. I think shyness is a character and confidence is a result of achievements, which sometimes deform certain individuals.
Correct, confidence is the result of one's accumulated knowhow, and shyness has nothing to do with confidence. There are people who don't learned much, either by study or by experience, yet are very confident in their ways of dealing with others. I think shyness is a character and confidence is a result of achievements, which sometimes deform certain individuals.
You said it better than me Lolette
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there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance lol
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RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I think shyness and confidence are two different things.
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RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
Not overly so but I think people sometimes confuse arrogance for confidence . I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
P.S. Nothing wrong with who you are/how you come across to others , use it to your advantage
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RainComeShine: I've been listening to a brain surgeon talking on the radio. He says that Public Schools turn out very confident people and how he wishes that all people could experience this level of confidence.
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?
If you are very confident but come across as shy it means you are modest. That's a winning combination in so many ways my dear.
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KremaP: What stands behind the confidence is the most important part I believe. Unfortunately I have seen many children been fed too much confidence by the parents and sooner or later the delusional state of their confidence boosted minds starts playing tricks on them.
Confidence should be based on one's abilities and detailed knowledge of certain things...
I gained my confidence slowly through life, with every single experience and achievement.
One should not forget to be humble as well, over confident people are often proved to be a hot air balloons...
JMO
Confidence should be based on one's abilities and detailed knowledge of certain things...
I gained my confidence slowly through life, with every single experience and achievement.
One should not forget to be humble as well, over confident people are often proved to be a hot air balloons...
JMO
As some have mentioned, often over confidence can be a form of lack of confidence. I know that I can be over chatty when I'm nervous or when all around me are quiet.
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RosePetals69: If you are very confident but come across as shy it means you are modest. That's a winning combination in so many ways my dear.
You're so kind but it can be exhausting too!
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77 Votes
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47 Comments
Created: Jun 2015
Last Viewed: 12 hrs ago
Last Commented: Jul 2015
Last Voted: Jun 2023
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Confidence(Vote Below)
I'm very confident in myself but I come across as very shy and bashful. What am I doing wrong apart from not having been to a Public School?