The wait staff at this restaurant had a terrible attitude. The chef and manager didn't seem to care at all. They would just call out the restaurant name every time I complained. Like that would make a difference. Perhaps I should have...
What did the tectonic plate say, when it bumped into another ? . . . Sorry, my fault. . . You shouldn't put more on your plate, than you can handle.
A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The mangy guy says, "You're right. I don't have a lot of money. But. if I show you something terrific that you haven't se...
A husband & wife went together to go see a medical doctor. The husband was a bit embarrassed & told the MD that he had trouble getting an erection with his wife & she was getting very frustrated. The doctor decided to take the husband into...
THIS IS REALLY FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS. . . . . * 12% of the women in the world are on medication for treatment of mental illness. That's truly scary.... Why ?...
An explorer had recently gone through a very emotional break-up and to get away from it all was in a cave, looking for ancient treasure. The explorer found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you...
A ten year old boy was failing math at the local public school. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school....
A wealthy business executive often flew coast to coast on business. He started having a secret affair with a woman on the opposite coast. One night, the woman confided in him, that she had gotten pregnant from him. Not wanting to ruin his repu...
. . A mother and her very young son were flying on an airline from New York to California. The little boy (who had been looking out his window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats,...
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wo...
Because.... You will end up with a..... . . . . pot belly. And unfortunately, not this one; . ....
Several months ago my uncle was in a horrible auto accident. Luckily he survived. However, his left arm was crushed and had to be amputated. Thankfully, a surgeon was able to attach another arm from a cadaver. :thumbsu...
A man is sitting at home watching television, when a police officer knocks on his front door. When the man answers the door, the officer asks him if he is Mr. Robertson and the man replies, "Yes I am." The officer then asks, if...
A teenage boy was on a public bus eating chocolate. He took a bite, then another bite, and then another. An elderly man sitting next to him said "Do you know that too much chocolate will damage your teeth ?" The boy replied, "my...
I went to a wedding this past weekend and at one point the DJ announced, ..."Would all married men please go stand next to the one person who has made your life worthwhile and put your arm around them." The poor bartender was almost cru...
A CNN journalist heard about a local elderly man who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, every day, for a many many years. To check it out, she went to the Wailing Wall, and there he was, using a ca...
This morning I woke up with a dull pain. . . So, I sent her home. I was somewhat tempted to sign it Henny Youngman, but it's an original joke I wrote a moment ago. Here are some actual Henny Youngman jokes. I just g...
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