Top Ten Reasons Why I do NOT have a Photograph of Myself
I do not have a photograph of myself because:
The plastic surgery has not set yet.
Sony and Google are fighting over the copyright.
Everytime that I point the lens at my face it explodes.
Everytime that I tell the telephone to take my picture, it scurries away on its vibrations as fast as it can screaming for "help".
I cannot find the slot to put the film in the telephone.
If I try to take my picture using the mirror it forms a cross out of its legs and points it at me as a shield, sulks and refuses to reflect me screaming "Vampire" repeatedly.
Both National Geographic & Time Life claim to have lost the negatives.
When the fixative sees my likeness on the photographic paper it self combusts and burns the print.
The plastic surgeon has placed an injunction for copyright on my face and will not release it until I pay his bill and sign over 55 % of the royalties.
As I have not fully woken up and engaged my brain yet, like the woman who has not yet decided which day of the month it is and dress to wear, I have not decided which face to wear yet.
If you are so shallow, inflexible or insecure that you cannot see the pictues painted by my words you are of no interest to me so please keep on walking.
ConclusionSex? That was to hook you in and pique your curiosity. And obviously if you can count over ten you have skill complementary to mine.....come talk!
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