Skip to main content

Five Tips on How to Avoid Boring Other People

Five Tips on How to Avoid Boring Other People

No one likes a bore, and no one wishes to be a bore. But surely you cannot learn to be interesting? Aren't some people just dull by nature? True, no one can learn to talk like Oscar Wilde simply by reading articles and self-help books. But anyone canlearn how to avoid boring others.

1) Don't talk about yourself all the time.

No one is duller than a monomaniac. No matter how clever, witty or educated you may be, if you only ever talk about your own life, and if you steer every conversation on to the subjects that interest you, you will be avoided. Your children may be the center of your world, but they are not the center of anyone else's. And, painful as it may be to hear this, the amazing year you spent backpacking around Asia or South America is really not that interesting, neither is your obsessive love of classic cars or Elizabethan drama. Know your audience. The only people who wish to hear about your children are probably your parents and those friends who are themselves pregnant or raising children of a similar age; the only people who wish to hear, in detail, about the things you got up to during your year traveling around India will probably be those about to set off for the country themselves. Few of the things that happen to you sound as interesting as they are to live through. And, as for classic cars, or Tolkien or any other interest you may have, only talk at length about these things to those who share your love.

2) Don't repeat yourself.

If you already told your hitchhiker anecdote to a friend or lover, resist to urge to tell them again. Even the best stories are torture when you have to hear them over and over. And the same goes for opinions. Yes, your friends are aware that you loathe hunting, that you are worried about overpopulation and climate change. If you must talk about these things, try and say something new.

3) Don't moan.

As well as dragging people down, moaners are boring. The occasional rant is fine, especially when justified; it can even be amusing. But bores don't have the occasional rant, they keep up a dreary little whine about anything and everything. Enthusiasm and cheerfulness are contagious, and so are their opposites! And don't live in the past. Nothing is more boring than someone telling you about the fun they had when they were young, or how much better the world was in their youth.

4) Make your interests wide and deep.

Be curious. As someone once said, if you find the world boring it is probably because you are boring. Being in the company of someone who never reads and has little interest in anything other than their car and career is like entering a small, dark room. Try to take an interest in the world here and now. Keep up with scientific breakthroughs and technological advances. The same goes for art. It is fine to love Dickens and Shakespeare, or Hitchcock and Bergman, but be interested in contemporary writers and directors as well. This is especially important when interacting with younger generations. Don't keep telling teenagers that nothing compares to the Beatles or the Smiths. Instead, ask any teens in your life what they are listening to, and be humble, respectful and interested.

5) Be aware not only what you say but how you say it.

Bores mumble; they stutter and drone and look at the floor when they speak. And watch your body language: keep your chin up, your shoulders back, and add plenty of smiles and laughs. Some people, even interesting and amusing ones, speak in an appalling monotone. Listen to news presenters. Those who produce news programs know that viewers will switch channels if the presenter bores them, so they are taught how to vary the tone and pitch of their voice.

If bores have one thing in common it is this--they are selfish. They moan, mumble, repeat the same anecdotes and talk endlessly about their own lives because they are wrapped up in themselves and don't care how other people feel.

Would YOU like to publish an article on Connecting Singles?

Would YOU like to publish an article on Connecting Singles? Are you an expert at something, have an interesting story, or a good lesson to teach... why not share with other members. If you have experience or expertise in a topic that will be of interest to CS members, you may submit an article to be published on the site.
Post your own Article »

Attention: Report Abuse. If this article is inappropriate please report abuse.
We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here