Have you ever met someone you connected with only to have them disappear on you for days or weeks at a time? There is a situation called e-maintaining that's happening to people online. Texting makes it very easy to disappear and come back with excuses that make sense and give you hope that things will change. Unfortunately in a relationship that is being e-maintained this is a cycle that continues.
If you've never heard the term e-maintained before, you may be surprised to find out it's happening to you. Being e-maintained is a situation where you are kept interested and attached to someone with nothing more than periodic texts. Here are four signs that you are being e-maintained.
You met a guy you connected with and started texting. Things might be hot and heavy for a while and then things slow down to the point where you rarely hear from him. Every time he texts you seem to pick up right where you left off. Days pass without hearing from him again. You might get worried and send texts to make sure he's okay, but you still don't hear from him. Days or weeks may pass before he finally gets back to you and when he does the response is very nonchalant. He won't seem concerned that you were worried about his well-being. He'll tell you he's been busy and ask how you are as if he hasn't been MIA for ten days.
When he finally texts you back, he might be emotional. He'll tell you how much he missed you. He'll be sweet and romantic and you'll immediately forget about how upset you were about his disappearing act. That is, until he disappears again the next day. That's exactly what someone who e-maintains women will do. He'll come back to show affection or make a big gesture and then disappear again. This is how he ensures that he's on your mind until he's ready to come back and do it all over again. Remember that as much as he says he misses you, loves your company, or even loves you he still doesn't make the effort to text more often.
You were understanding when the man you're interested in couldn't text much while he was in school or working on a special project, but now that he has a break he's still not texting. What's up with that? The truth is that he probably wasn't too busy to text you during that time, but it made for a good excuse. When you start texting him more in hopes of connecting again, he'll have another excuse ready. Maybe he's been sick, catching up with friends, or looking for a new job. When a man is e-maintaining you, the excuses will keep coming because he doesn't want to invest too much time in you and they buy him time until he's ready to talk to you again.
Someone who is e-maintaining you will come around when he needs something he knows you will give him. He has already learned that no matter how long he disappears for, you will always forgive and forget. He probably doesn't feel much guilt for coming around when he wants something. He also won't feel bad about taking off when you need something. If you are upset and want to discuss a situation with him, he won't have the time.
E-maintaining isn't something that someone will admit to doing. When someone wants to be part of your life, they will be. No one goes weeks without checking their phone unless they are incapacitated. They simply choose who they will and will not respond to.
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