You can't have it all: How to choose between your lover and your girlfriend

You cant have it all How to choose between your lover and your girlfriend

Love is a complicated game. One minute you think that your current girlfriend is, 'The One,' and the next, you're sending flirtatious messages to another woman. Such situations develop quickly and you can't help falling for someone else. If you've decided that you want to take things further with the new woman in your life, here are some tips to guide you through this delicate state of affairs.

You can't have it all

If conducting two relationships at one time has crossed your mind, face up to the fact that you're living in a fantasy world. Two girlfriends will not make you happy. Think about the hours you spend with your current girlfriend and multiply that by two. Add to that the suspicion your girlfriends will develop and the result is a messy and stressful situation. You've only got room in your life for two women: Your mom and your girlfriend. If you've got lofty ideas about being a successful Lothario, now is the time to come back down to earth and be realistic.

You can't 'Try Before You Buy'

If you've been in a stable relationship with your current girlfriend for a while, you're not used to taking risks where love is concerned. You've probably become quite accustomed to stability and don't like the thought of putting your love life in danger. Unfortunately, this does not give you the right to start a relationship with a new woman, see how it goes and then dump your girlfriend. Be honest. If your current relationship has gone stale, it doesn't matter whether the new woman in your life sleeps with you and then never calls you again. The fact remains that your relationship was winding to a close anyway. If there is still genuine love and affection between you and your girlfriend, it's time to step away from the new woman and refocus on your relationship.

Is your new woman actually into you?

It is possible to feel love and attraction for two women at the same time. If you've decided to take a chance and strike up a relationship with someone else, are you absolutely sure that she's really into you? The first few months of attraction and flirting are exhilarating, but future longevity doesn't necessarily follow. If you think that she's only looking for some fun, or she has a history of cheating, you might want to think twice before ending your relationship with your current partner.

Be discreet

If you finish things with your girlfriend, can you trust your new woman to be discreet about your relationship? Your ex-girlfriend will understandably be hurt and need some time to grieve for the loss of the relationship. Having someone else rub it in her fact won't help matters. Does the new woman in your life expect to rush the relationship, move in together and meet the parents within a month? You need time to adjust and going head-first into a deep relationship is going to hurt your ex-girlfriend and leave you feeling confused.

Once it's done, it's done

With all of the previous tips considered, ask yourself whether you still want to proceed and end your relationship for someone else. If you do, remember that there's no turning back. Don't think that you can test out a relationship with a new woman and that if you don't like it, your ex-girlfriend will welcome you back with open arms. It simply doesn't work like that. Even if your ex did accept you again, your dishonesty will have tainted your relationship and it will never be the same.

Weighing up pros and cons is an old method, but it will help you assess your predicament. You're the only one who can decide whether it's best to move on or put more effort into your present relationship. Whatever decision you come to, make it quickly in order to minimize hurt.

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