Promote Honesty to Stop Lies

Promote Honesty to Stop Lies

Many people aspire to have honest relationships. There's something reassuring about knowing that your partner is always speaking the truth, and that you don't need to hesitate in sharing true information. A truthful bond can help a couple reach excellent mutual decisions. It can also increase feelings of trust.

Of course, some romantic partners lie to each other. Even though there are clear benefits to honesty, sometimes people feel like dishonesty is a better alternative. After all, the closer a couple gets, the more interdependent they may become. Since the actions and words of one person are then more susceptible to affecting his or her partner, he or she may resort to lying to avoid a strong negative reaction.

In other cases, someone may be afraid not to live up to the expectations imposed by his or her partner. Sometimes, people in love elevate the object of their affection to a level that's not wholly attainable. The partner, then, turns to deception as a way to keep the illusion alive.

Many people believe that, since they know their partner so well, they're absolutely capable of detecting their lies. They think that it's easy to notice when their behavior has changed. Failing that, they can believe they can certainly tell when their stories don't hold up against a barrage of questions.

Unfortunately, that belief doesn't seem to be the case. A number of studies reveal that most people are not gifted at detecting lies, and that this is especially true when it comes to determining whether a loved one is spinning falsehoods. Love does appear to come with blindness to a partner's lying. The more in love you are, the more difficult it seems to be to sort out when your partner isn't telling the truth.

So, how can you reliably detect a lie when you're enamored with someone? To be sure he or she is lying, you'll likely have to embark on an investigation where you carefully compare information you've received from your partner with what you observe. However, this tactic, though empirically useful, runs contrary to the kind of trust people celebrate in a relationship. It's an exhausting way to live, and resorting to these measures probably means your relationship is in serious trouble.

What else can you do, then? Perhaps the best thing to do is to promote honesty. Praise any and all instances of truth-telling, especially in cases where other individuals may have resorted to white lies. You should also be consistently truthful with your partner, even when it may seem more convenient to tell a bit of a fib. That helps to set a standard for honesty, which establishes a foundation that is likely pay off down the road.

If you want a relationship that's based on honesty and infused with trust, you need to be proactive about promoting truth-telling. The more involved a person gets in a relationship, the higher the stakes. For some, that means more reason not to tell the truth. In you're deeply in love, chances are it'll be difficult for you to detect the lies of the person you love. Apart from extenuating circumstances, it's not in your best interest to exert energy trying to uncover lies. Instead, put effort into praising honesty.

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