Dating Tips: How to Get Your Ex Back

Sometimes it's a mistake for a relationship to end. If you think yours might have been cut short, there are steps you can take to get it going again. Here are things you should do if you want to get your ex back.

Reflect on what caused the breakup. Fresh starts require self-reflection and honesty. You have to ask yourself whether you can actually resolve the problems that caused the split. Frequent squabbles triggered by excessive stress, for example, can probably be fixed through better efforts to communicate calmly. Fundamentally different views on things like family and religion, however, can be much more difficult to overcome.

Maintain open and friendly communication. Once you've decided that things can be patched up, open up lines of communication to the person you want back. That is not to say you should bombard him or her with texts and calls – that would undoubtedly ruin your odds of reconciliation. You should shoot the person the occasional text or brief e-mail. Keep in touch casually, and try to maintain a light, friendly mood.

Don't rush anything. Sometimes, people feel like they should try to dive right back into an old relationship. This approach can backfire quickly. Your ex might feel pressured, which could cause extra distance. If you do get back together immediately, you could fall right back into your routines that triggered the breakup in the first place. Practice a bit of patience if you want to get back with your ex for the long term.

Keep living your life. When you are living a full life, your best qualities shine through. Stay busy with activities that make you feel good about yourself. Not only will it keep your spirits up as a newly single person, but it will help you get back in touch with who you are as an individual. From a relationship standpoint, having a period where you function well on your own could also remind your ex of why he or she fell for you in the first place.

Let your ex know how you feel, but don't try to force that person to feel anything. You're on good terms with your ex, and life is going well, but you still want him or her back. Eventually, you will just have to sit the person down and let him or her know how you feel. As you open up, it's important to remember that you cannot force or manipulate someone to be in a healthy relationship with you. Guilt should not enter into the conversation, either. Keep it simple and honest, and give your ex time to think it over if he or she asks for it.

You may feel the impulse to control everything when trying to get your ex back. With matters of affection, that rarely works. Instead, try to create conditions where the person does not feel pressured into making a decision, and where he or she gets the opportunity to see you in the same kind of positive light as when you initially got involved. When you think it's the right time, let your former significant other know how you feel. If the person cares for you, and the relationship can be saved, chances are good that you'll get your ex back.