Getting to Second Dates: How to Be Charming

Charm is an often overlooked facet of dating. Many people concentrate on the easily visible, the readily observed. However, as many attached men and women will swear, there is more to it than that. There is charm. Many people will claim that it is impossible to be charming or charismatic, that it is all they can do. This is quite false.

There are ways of talking to people that can help them get to yes, ways that can elude the richest and most attractive people on earth. People with expensive items and impressive mansions can find themselves spending their weekends alone with no company. These are the same people that do not know how to be charming. They think it is about how they look and sound when it is all about the other person, the date.

Charm or charisma is about making people feel important. They want to feel like they are being heard, like what they are saying or what they are doing matters. That is the heart and soul of every successful date and every successful relationship in the history of the world.

The first step to becoming charming begins with a smile. Smile at them when they first make eye contact. Showing them that they are welcome is a great introduction. More often than not, they will respond with a smile of their own, putting them a little more at ease and thus more receptive to any advances.

The next step is to let the other person talk. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, whether they will admit it or not. Questions about their clothing and how it comes together can really get a person talking. Questions that lead to more conversation, such as ones that begin with "How" or "Why," can make a person feel like their story matters, like the other person is listening.

People who want to be charming should be prepared to admit fault. There is no one in the history or future of the universe that will disagree with someone who says they are wrong. This does not mean that people should intentionally make mistakes, but people will make mistakes at some point. Admitting fault when appropriate will show a date and others that they are humble and confident enough to admit fault.

Complements are another way to be charming, but many people fail to deliver them properly or deliver far too many complements. Once is often more than enough to get across the idea that the target of the complement is appealing and appreciated. Do note that there is a clear difference between "flattery" and "appreciation." Flattery can be insulting, while appreciation is almost always taken well.

The difference is whereas flattery is telling them what they want to hear, appreciation is telling people what the observer likes about them. This is often the difference between "You look nice," and "I love the way you look right now. You should dress like that more often." The latter is often met with a shrug, while the former is often met with a smile.

These tips can go a long way towards making a person more charming, more charismatic, and more appealing to their date. These tips can also be used in other kinds of relationships, even platonic ones. This means that people can practice them whenever they want, with whomever they want. There is no better time to start than the present.