Do you get tired of seeing sickeningly happy couples at the theater, restaurants and almost everywhere else you go ? If you're not careful, you could become part of that happy-go-lucky crowd. Joy-proof your relationship by implementing some strategies that will ensure this doesn't happen to you. The amazing thing is that by simply putting some effort into only one of these suggestions, you are well on your way to introducing a significant measure of despair into your relationship.
When your partner admits wrongdoing, use the opportunity to point out how right you were. Don't save being right for "important" arguments, as you can be right in every single interaction you have. Does your partner have any political opinions? Make sure she knows how wrong they are. That parking space he is pointing out? Let him know you can find a much better one.
Just about any will do. Alcohol is very effective, with a proven track record going back for centuries. Internet porn, overeating, prescription drugs – the possibilities are endless. Embrace your addiction. Your partner will be able to see that maintaining it is the first priority in your life.
Have a problem with flirting ? Make sure your partner knows that it is her fault for not being understanding enough. Can't seem to be on time for anything? Tell your partner that he should have reminded you of the event earlier in the evening.
Let your words drip with disdain when your partner makes a mistake. Raise your voice the instant you perceive a slight. When your partner confronts you about your ugly tone of voice, tell him he is crazy and making it up. Quote back your words to him in a sweet voice.
Have an unexpected three-day weekend? Go on a fishing trip with your buddies. Are the children away at a sleepover? It's time for a girls-night out. Avoid spending quality time with your partner, because that will simply bring you closer together .
Your partner doesn't need to know about the little dalliance you're having with your coworker. After all, it'll probably be over next week. Don't tell him about the extra credit cards in your wallet, either. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
If you're keeping secrets, chances are your partner must have some as well. Check his email, sneak into his Facebook account and look over his phone records. Avoid talking to your partner about any concerns you have about the relationship – after all, you're a super-sleuth!
Don't stop once you've reached the end of this list. The number of behaviors you can use to make your partner wish your paths had never crossed is endless. As long as you keep your needs in mind and don't consider your partner's, you'll create an endless source of annoyances that will have your partner canvasing your town for a new place to live in no time.
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