The Importance of Common Interests in a Relationship

It's often said that opposites attract. This is certainly true when it comes to magnetic charges, but it's also sometimes the case with relationships. People with wildly different personalities, philosophies, and interests get together all the time. Dating someone who's different from you in some ways can be a positive – your partner might get you to try new hobbies or even change your outlook on life.

However, there is a limit to the benefits differences can bring to a relationship. Having common interests is an important part of maintaining a healthy partnership. By taking part in activities that you both enjoy, you and your partner will be able to strengthen your bonds more easily than you would without those common interests. Such interests can include just about anything – sports, music, politics, literature, even fishing – any subject that you can both talk about or take part in together qualifies. Without at least one strong interest in common, your relationship with your partner might end up growing dull.

Another possible sign that your relationship may become rocky is a serious difference in personality type between yourself and your partner. Dating someone who's different from you, even extremely so, can be exciting, but it can also lead to instability in your relationship in the long run. If one half of a couple is naturally quiet and enjoys fairly solitary activities such as reading, writing, and playing music, and the other is vivacious and loves going to clubs and concerts and being in the middle of huge crowds, the two might end up not spending any time together. Partners in the most stable relationships might not be totally similar in disposition and interests – in fact, it's better if they're not – but neither will they be too different from each other . Opposites might attract, but they also have a tendency to repeal each other after a while.

Having a partner with a dramatically different personal philosophy than your own can also cause problems. Plenty of couples with dramatically opposed political or religious beliefs stay together without any problems, but if you and your partner have serious disagreements about whether to have children, how to raise your children, or how to define the relationship between the both of you based on those beliefs , these should be recognized as possible red flags. The difference between partners in cultural outlook is now more of an issue than ever due to the steady rise in immigration and bi-racial and bi-ethnic relationships. Although many of these relationships are happy and productive, some partners will clash over traditional and modern ideas about the proper way to live and raise children . Even relationships between people of the same ethnic group and nationality can feature such differences. If you feel that you might differ with your partner with regard to personal values and that this might become a problem later on, it is best to talk frankly with them about it and try to find some sort of compromise before your relationship gets more serious.

None of this is to say that having a partner with a different personality or different interests from your own is a bad thing. Variety is the spice of life, as they say, and it can certainly spice up a relationship. However, serious enough differences can create insurmountable obstacles to achieving a successful and happy relationship.