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How to move on after a difficult break-up

How to move on after a difficult break up

The breakdown of a once loving relationship is always difficult. When you still feel love for your former partner, you may think that you will never be able to move on. It's a tough journey, but it will happen and you will have a caring relationship again. Here are some tips to get you on the right track: Looking forward to your future and not dwelling on the past.

Take responsibility, but don't blame yourself for everything

Whatever happened to cause the end of your relationship, it is important to reflect upon it in a rational manner. Many women react to break-ups by going to one extreme or the other: They are wholly at fault and responsible for the breakdown of the relationship or, they are totally blameless and the mistakes were all his. Accepting that you both could have handled certain situations in a more reasonable way is liberating. You will find it easier to let go of memories of fierce arguments and feelings of anger and resentment. These are feelings that will have a much more detrimental impact on your personal growth than feelings of sadness.

Don't fall into a rebound relationship

If you haven't been single for a number of years, it can come as a shock. Even routine chores can suddenly feel different and frightening now that you haven't got someone by your side. Finding another mate to simply feel comfortable again is not a positive move. You need to discover your confidence as a single person before forming a new relationship. If you rush too soon and find yourself with another failed relationship on your hands, it will only damage your emotional well-being.

Don't be afraid to ask for help

If you're finding it difficult to cope, ask for help. If you go too long feeling helpless and lost, the chances that you attempt to contact your ex-partner just to 'talk things through' increases. Under no circumstances should you contact your ex to off-load your emotional pain. It will only intensify your feelings of rejection and vulnerability. Talk to friends and family instead. Pick the people who have been proven to be good listeners and will make time for you. Don't worry about talking to much or bothering them with your problems. Your pain is temporary and when they're in a similar position, you can return the favor.

Surround yourself by family and friends

Take time to talk about your feelings with your family and friends, but also engage in other activities with them. Now is the time to create stronger ties with the important people in your life that may have weakened during your relationship. If your sister is holding a party for your nephew, go along. If your friend goes to an exercise class on Thursday evening, ask if you can go with her. Involve yourself in the happier aspects of other people's lives and you will find that those good feelings rub off onto you too.

Push yourself out there

Don't sit around at home waiting for something to happen. It won't. This is your life. You are in the driving seat and you are the only person that can make things happen. Although pushing yourself to do new things now that you haven't got a partner by your side to help you through your worries is difficult, it is important to tackle your emotional barriers and get out there. Do what you've always wanted to do, even if it seems small. If you've always wished that you could be a talented artist, sign up for an art class. If you've worried about your weight in the past and have always wanted to do something about it, take out a gym membership. A sudden and dramatic change in your life, such as the end of a relationship, can offer you wonderful opportunities for new life experiences. Grab onto them and you'll soon realize that the future has so much to offer.

The end of a relationship doesn't need to cause an end to your happiness. Reconnect with family and friends and discover the new, confident you. You'll be amazed at how resilient you are and how quickly you find joy again.

Comments (5)

Thank you so much I really needed to read that. applause
I was dating online someone for four months and it was good relationship and he was working I think he was, but I feel that letting him go was right thing, Even though it pains me, Best not drag him to my home and eat him like some dragon lady I can't be something scary...I have to move on, and keep trucking...crying

I still feel that painful sting... why did I let him go, But I think he find someone better than me. Maybe fitter. She take care of him and his family, She be in local. sigh

I am not local to anyone nice...
Breaking up is hardest for the person left behind . People invariably assume if you're a woman that you're partner cheated or walked . Women are empowered nowadays don't have to or won't stay in a damaging relationship . If you're feeling more sad than happy its time to on your own has lots of positives as anyone who's being on their own for years will testify . It's the feeling of needing to have someone that leads people to hook up with unsuitable people. It's why people stay in unhealthy relationships .....they're scared of being alone . heart wings
I thank God for my aggressive self after my separation. I hope and i pray that i make it with my baby.Thank you for this
Very nice article.

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