Is your lack of self-esteem ruining your relationship? Fix it now!

Bouts of low self-esteem affect many people. An emotional upset, failure at work or loneliness can bring on feelings of low self-worth. If such a period of low self-esteem lasts only a few weeks before confidence returns and your life gets back on the right track, the emotional damage to yourself and those close to you will be minimal. However, if low self-esteem is a constant fixture in your life, it can do more harm than you might realize. Do the following statements sound familiar? It's time to recognize the warning signs and do something about it.

You are constantly negative

The world can sometimes feel like an extremely negative place to be. You are the only person to decide whether it's going to bring you down or if you're going to remain positive and come out on top. Low self-esteem stems from negativity about yourself. It creeps upon you slowly, and before you know it, you're not only speaking negatively about yourself, but also those around you. Your partner was probably used to receiving compliments from you, but now all you offer is criticism. You're negative attitude may even result in your partner experiencing similar self-esteem problems. When you catch yourself being negative, turn it around and try to see the positive. The more you practise positive thinking, the more natural it will feel to have a positive outlook on life and yourself.

You react to the slightest comment

Issues with self-esteem can cause extreme behaviors as your perception of interactions with other people becomes distorted. Where once you thought nothing of your partner offering suggestions, now you view such comments as criticism of your ability to do something. Once your partner stops feeling relaxed around you because he's worried about how you're going to react, your relationship will deteriorate. Take time out to do tasks and activities that you know you're good at. This will reinforce the notion that you can accomplish things and boost your self-esteem. Next time your partner offers some advice, take it knowing that it isn't a criticism of your ability.

You constantly seek validation

An improvement in self-esteem can only come from within. Although having the support of your partner, family and friends can help you along your journey to a new, confident you, they are not responsible for that change. Don't seek the validation of your partner compulsively when you're feeling low. When you deliberately force comments from your partner such as, 'Of course you're attractive' or, 'You are intelligent,' they can feel hollow. Genuine comments about what a great person you are will come without prompting and mean so much more. Additionally, constantly nagging for validation can be draining for your partner. Practise complimenting yourself. When you receive praise from your boss, cook a great meal or help out a friend, allow yourself to praise your actions. Do it often and the trickle of inner praise will result in you needing reassurance from outside sources less.

You don't go out as much as you used to

Staying in the comfort and safety of your home is a common trait of people with low self-esteem. If you think of yourself as boring, ugly and stupid, you're less likely to socialize with others. Staying at home every evening will feel like the right thing to do; You won't disappoint anyone, feel like the loner in the room or embarrass yourself. If your partner enjoys hanging out with friends or meeting new people, your behavior will cause problems. Your partner may feel forced to make excuses for you or not meet with friends to avoid questioning. You need to force yourself out of the house and into social situations. If you would have normally been alone at home, what have you got to lose by going out and meeting people? Every time you push yourself and socialize, you will be reminded that you are an interesting person who people like to talk to.

Be persistent in investing time and energy into changing your thinking. Be positive and don't let set-backs drive you back to negativity and feelings of despondence. Discuss your quest for personal development with your partner. Make small improvements to your self-esteem every day, and you will soon see the beneficial effects that it has on your relationship too.