Most people know at least one person who controls a room from the second they walk into it. They can engage anyone. They never leave a party or a meeting unremembered. They have charisma, something that many believe is possessed only by a select few. Though not everyone is lucky to enough to be effortlessly charismatic, everyone can learn a lot from examining and emulating some traits found amongst many charismatic people.
Most charismatic people have mastered the art of listening. They listen intently to what people are saying and demonstrate interest in what they're hearing. Instead of nodding every couple of sentences, waiting for a gap where they can insert information about themselves, they keep asking interesting questions. If they're not asking a question, they may include comments that demonstrate they remember what the person is saying. They make other people feel important and valued.
Few things are as important to someone as their name; it's a word that follows a person from birth to death. It's not surprising, then, that names carry tremendous weight in conversation. Charismatic people may seem like they have a knack for retaining names, and some very well might, but many remember names because they make a point of doing so. If they've just been introduced to someone, they tend to repeat the name immediately. This helps eliminate any future pronunciation blunders. It also reduces the chance they'll awkwardly have to ask for a name, again, minutes later. Charismatic people then tend to incorporate the name throughout the conversation, which can boost rapport. The repetition increases the chance they'll remember the name months or years later.
Part of a charismatic individual's poise often comes from selective speaking. Rather than bumbling through a half-considered thought to end a stretch of silence, many charismatic people deliver thoughtful statements at crucial times. Silence isn't awkward for them; it's a time to maintain their composure while considering the next thing to say or, more likely, the next thought-provoking question to ask.
There's something universally reassuring about a warm smile. It projects friendliness and helps to foster trust. Alternately, a forced smile is off-putting. Humans are masters of nonverbal communication; the difference between a genuine smile and a fake one is often a matter of subtle crinkles around the eyes, but it changes the impression a person leaves tremendously. Charismatic people don't have an unnaturally large smile permanently affixed to their face. Instead, their smile spreads slowly and naturally. Whether caused by the conversation at hand or a happy memory they've just conjured up, the smile is genuine.
Most people have at least a few insecurities. Charismatic people are great at leaving them at the door, or at least making it seem that way. They achieve it by doing small things like maintaining comfortable eye contact, walking with good posture, and shaking hands firmly. The fact they're so busy focusing the attention on everyone around them also helps to quash any nerves because they don't have time to think about their insecurities. They're thinking about everyone else's interesting comments instead.
The 5 traits don't take long to implement, but the results are astounding in both personal and professional contexts. Everyone, apart from the lucky few who are already charismatically gifted, would benefit from working the traits into their everyday lives.
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