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What makes a man a Gentleman???????????

Well I don't usually sit down and write things, but I think I have a good story to tell.

I went to the local coffee shop with friends this morning (I am a people watcher and like to see their reactions to different propblems). We got are coffee and sandwich. We got to talking about what makes a man a gentlemen, a woman started this topic (there are many forums on this as well). I sat back and listened as the two tables beside us also got talking. They all seemed to think different and that is what makes us human. It was pouring rain and what else did I have to do.


I continued to listen knowing that there is a forum ongoing about this. As I sat and listened and more people gave their answers and some times loudly, I was amazed to see an elderly man come through the door. He was dressed nice and was a tall man with graying hair. I watched as he opened and held the door for women and men as they left with there coffee's and such. He stepped back and let an elderly women move ahead of him in line and smiled when anyone thanked him.


I watched as he moved out of the line up and opened the door for an expectant mother and then let her in line ahead of him. He was friendly, but only spoke when someone would thank him. As I watched this man, I wondered if this could be a gentlemen. He got his coffee thanked and tipped the girl at the cash. He had ordered a sandwich and as he walked by he excused himself for walking in front of the now heated debate. I was amazed at the man, he knew who he was and also knew what was going on around him. I got everyones attention and asked them to watch, not stare just watch this man. He got his sandwich, thanked the girl who made it and started to walk past us again. He stopped looked at two of the louder people smiled and told them. "A gentleman is the man who remembers his manners he was taught as a child. A man who can laugh at himself when needed, a man who treats a woman as she treats him, with respect and kindness."


He talked to us for maybe three or four minutes. We all listened and I think we all came away with more respect for each other.


As he passed by me I stood extended my hand and said thank-you, he said he knew I was watching him and he hoped I had learned something.


I have today learned in less than an hour, that a gentleman is not made of anything more than me. We all have manners and respect. I feel that we have forgot how to use them. I have been lucky enough to have been called a gentleman in the past. I feel when a man has respect for himself he will then have respect for other people.


A gentleman will open doors for anyone, male or female, he will respect them, he will speak when spoken to in public.


I never got this gentleman's name but what he taught me in four minutes can not be taught to some people in a life time. I tip my hat to this great gentleman.

Comments (33)

DukeOfNugget
His wallet is a good start. Always judge a man by the way he treats his monetary assets. banana
HappyNat
Its reassuring to know that basic manners and politeness are still being practised. If more people did these simple gestures, the happier n more harmonious we would all be.
manroe23
That's really a good story , Thank you for sharing wine
enock007
human values r essential fr evry one thx fr sharing
Titch63
Very good article and so true people have become so busy with their lives they have forgotten what is trulyu important respect and love for each other without this we are nothing so good one putti
ng this up something for us all to learn from.
buckeye1332
I go about things like the older gentleman. My parents taught me to respect others and treat them how I would like to be treated. Holding doors is just second nature, I don't even think about it I just do it. If I am out shopping and even if my cart isn't loaded and I see someone with a couple items I always ask if they would like to go ahead of me.

I don't do any of these things expecting something in return. I do them because I feel it is the right thing and the nice thing to do. I find it rewarding enough to put a smile on someone's face or to see their pleasant suprise by just doing what comes natural to me.

It saddens me to see so many people with this "me, me, all about me attitude" everywhere I go. And it seems everyone is in such a hurry too. I admitt there are times where I have to hurry a bit if something comes up I have to do or somewhere to be, but I don't throw respect and common courtesy out the window when I do have to rush.
coffeeminx
A lovely inspiring story.

Very interesting is the point that the gentleman made . . . most mothers do instil basic values and common decency and respect in their young children.
The challenge is that most adults feel they no longer need to apply those values in their lives(Males and females).

PErhaps it is time for us ALL to go back to basics.
polaniali
Nice story, thank you.

I also think that it is not only up-bring and dignity that make a man feel and act as a gentleman, but also setting is very important. Meaning when a woman acts as a Lady, a man going out with her is bound to act as a Gentleman.
Antoinette4Joy
Wow, your story really hit the nail on the head! Imagine what the world would be like if filled solely with gentlemen!

If I had a magic wand I know how I would use it! I wonder what the ladies could do differently to shine in life like the gentleman does?
Supersport69
You are completely right and fortunate to experience that moment which should only take a moment for a real gentlemen to observe, that is all a real woman wants a complete gentleman.
susanputer
Thank you,

I was on page 5 before I found anything interesting to read.
katem7
I hope that the men that read your artical remember to teach their young boys the meaning of being a gentleman.

Thanks for the story it was heart-warming.
springguy
Sorry not the way I typed it! confused
springguy
Northof7 finally someone has put into words the best description
of a gentleman I have ever read. My hat's off to you. tip hat
There's some good points that the Female Gender might want to
take note of. There are plenty of us (gentleman) out there just
being passed by. sad flower
Autumncolour
I read once this sentence: 'a gentleman is just a patient wolf'

Very nice article and quite unexpected question to ask (by a man)...Sadly, the real gentleman is a rare breed of men.wave
PinkVan
I loved reading this. Manners make makes someone stand among the crowd.
Asiaman40
I liked the story. The difference between a gentleman and others is he does what all others too know is right but don't do. Many of us can play the role of a gentleman without practice if a movie director asks us to. Many of us know how to dress and how to behave like a perfect gentleman. We just choose to play the role of bad guys because we imagine people think bad guys are cool.
jicfel
This is kind of article one should be reading to grow in life not bullshit stories without a meaning.
Thank you sir, keep enlightening people with understanding they will grow more and you will be rewarded.
Cadillac72
beautiful, thanks for sharing !
hopeforlove
Thank you for the beautiful story!


I also bow to you since I don't wear hats!

A gentleman is a gentleman everywhere he is, at home, at work, at play!

We also need more gentle women to go with these gentlemen!
hollyberries
A gentleman is one who is qiuet but always hearrd. One you respects a women and thinks she comes first before he does. And as for tipping their hat, that always impressesss me, now a days if he just touches the brim of a baseball cap, to you that is a gesture of respect, Like the cowboys did and gofers do it too, as a form of acknowlagement. It's a meaningful gesture that is quite old but is impressive.
scottyburd
My brother is a gentleman too,mum taught us well,i enjoyed reading you're article..bouquet
ladykaye
Thank you for posting this story. That gentlemen was absolutly right. We need more men like this in the world. Someone has to teach the younger generation.
catt669
a beautiful story ..very well written ...thankyou
Ur_Knight
Very nice story Northof7

And *I* tip my hat to *you* as well...

For starting the conversation there in the first place, and for noticing each thing the gentleman did.

Yes, there still are gentlemen around.
saucysuzieq29
It's so nice to see a gentlemen, these days. Because, there isn't too many of them around. I've came across a few.

It's not like along time ago, around my grandparents days.

I think it's about time guys should do this a more often.
redruby1970
THANKS FOR READING MY RED RUBIES--- THE PRICE OF A VIRTOUS WOMAN IS FAR ABOVE RUBIES! PROVERBS 31= LOVE AND MAKING LOVE IS SACRED AND PRIVATE- KEEP IT THAT WAY! PRIVACY IS HONORABLE AND KEEPS THE DEVIL OUT OF THE PICTURE!!!!--PTOTECT EACH OTHERS HEARTS AND FEELINGS-- I DO AND I WILL!!!
redruby1970
RESPECT MEANS TO PUT OTHERS FIRST- LIKE THE OLD SAYING WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST--- THANKS TO WHOMEVER STARTED THAT!!!!!!! GOD BLESS HIM- LETS ALL RESPECT EACH OTHER AND STOP ALL UNNECCARY JERRY SPRINGER VIOLENCE IN REAL LIFE DRAMA!!!!!!!!I LOVE SPRINGERS SHOW- IT REALLY TEACHES U WHAT NOT TO DO IN A RELATIONSHIP--- WE NEED STABILITY AGAIN IN LIFE--- STABLE MORAL WHOLESOME NESS---PEACE- AND REMMEBER JESUS LOVES US ALL AND DIED FOR US ALL-- BEILIEVE AND ACCEPT HIM HE WILL CHANGE YR LIFE FOR THE BETTER - NO MORE CRIMES!! GOD BLESS ALL THE PROTECTORS EVERYWHERE ON THIS EARTH!!!!!!!-- PROTECT ALL CHILDREN FROM ALL ABUSES!!!!! LADIES KEEP YR DAUGHTERS VERY CLOSE TO YA-- AWAY FROM MEN WHO ONLY WANT ONE THING FROM A FEMALE--- GET AWAY FROM THAT TYPE OF GUY AND DEF KEEP YR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS AWAY FROM THEM- SORRY GUYS- BUT I WAS A VICTIM OF SEX PRESSURE--- DONT LIKE IT AT ALL!!!!! TAKE CARE OF YRSELVES HONORABLY BY YOURSELVES WHEN YR SINGLE INSTEAD OF IMPOSING EMOTIONAL SEX ABUSE ON A WOMAN! LOVE IS SACRED-- GUARD IT -DO NOT CHEAT EITHER MALES OR FEMALES!!!!!! CHEATERS SUCK! IN THE END U CHEAT YRSELF-BE FAITHFUL TO WHOMEVER YR WITH - DO NOT STRAY!! IT AINT WORTH IT!!!!! BE STD FREE---!!! DONT BE A HOMEWRECKER OR WHOREMONGER EITHER- READ REVELATIONS AND PROVERBS ALL WOMEN!- BABYLON THE GREAT HARLOT- HAS FALLEN AND CANT GET UP-- BUT JESUS CAN CHANGE AND DELIVER YA- AND HEAL YA AND RESTORE U BACK TO PURITY TILL MARRIAGE- RESPECT YRSELVES!AND THE GOD WHO MADE YA== NAKED NESS BRINGS NOTHING BUT TROUBLE-OUTSIDE OF TRUE LIFE LONG LOVE AND CARE!!!!!!! NO PORN-- ITS A FIRE FROM HELL-- YOULL GET BURNT EVERY TIME!!! I WANT TO SHOW /GIVE MY MAN SOMETHING SPECIAL I GOT JUST FOR HIM WHEN GOD SENDS HIM TO ME!!
redruby1970
OH YEAH A GENTLE MAN IS A MAN WHOS GENTLE IN WORDS, ACTIONS AND DEEDS- WHO PUTS OTHERS FIRST , AND DOESNT SWEAR AROUND WOMEN AND CHILDEN- WHO DOESNT EMBARRASS ANYONE- OR WHO DOESNT MAKE SCENES IN PUBLIC-FINANCIALLY SUPPORTS HIMSELF AND HIS WOMAN- HE SAYS I GOT THIS BABY, BUT ALWAYS HAS COURTESY,KINNDESS AND HELPING OTEHRS WITHOUT STRINGS- ONES WHO ARE VERY LOVING AND CARING AT ALL TIMES- EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY AND THEY DO NOT WRONG ANOTHER HUMAN BEING -BUT PROTECT, AND PROVIDE ALWAYS- DONT LIE, STEAL /ROB/ CHEAT AND DO NOT EVER RAISE ANGRY HAND TO ANY FEMALES OR CHILDREN- AND DOESNT DRIVE UNSAFE- AND CUT PEOPLE OFF- ETC-- AND ESP DOES NOT FORCE HIMSELF UNWANTED ADVANCES ON ANY WOMEN- WHETHER ITS A KISS, HUG OR FEEL- THEY ALL NEED TO ASK CAN I TOUCH U ANYWHERE ON YR PRIVATE SPACE BODY- ALL WOMEN LIKE ME DO NOT ALLOW MEN TO TOUCH THEM UNLESS THEY WERE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH 1 GUY-LEAVES- CIGS, DRUGS ALCOHOL AND PORNO STRIPCLUBS AND BARS ALONE-- A TRUE GENTLE--- MAN-- THIS KEEPS HIM GENTLE- AND POLITE AND RESPECTFUL- DOESNT PRESSURE A WOMAN TO MAKE LOVE UNTILL SHE IS READY AND WANTS TO DO IT-- ON ANY LEVELS!!STAYS WITH HER CAUSE HE LOVES AND CHERISHES HER FOR HER NOT MONEY OR SEX- NO PIMPING!!!! THIS IS REDRUBY PROVERBS 31 CHIC- BEEN THRU ALOT OF DISRESPECT--- THIS IS OLD TIME HIGH HONOR RULES,CODES!!!! REAL CHRISTIANANITY--- VIRGIN RULES- LOVE AND CHERISHING RULES--- SAME GOES FOR THE LADY OF SELFLESSNESS- LIVE 4 JESUS AND PUTTING OTHERS FIRST AFTER THE CHILDREN WHO COME FIRST IN THIS WORLD--- LEADERS AND ROLE MODELS ARE DESPERATELY NEEDED IN 2010- AND BEYOND-- HOLD THE STANDARD- LADIES- TEACH YR SONS TO RESPECT A WOMAN--- NO ABUSES!!!!! BE PROUD OF YR BABY BOYS WHEN THEY GROW UP TO BE A REAL MAN OF HONOR- GOD WILL BE WELL PLEASED AND HIS FUTURE WIFE FOR LIFE! THANKS 4 LISTENING-DEEDEE
redruby1970
OH YEAH A GENTLE MAN IS A MAN WHOS GENTLE IN WORDS, ACTIONS AND DEEDS- WHO PUTS OTHERS FIRST , AND DOESNT SWEAR AROUND WOMEN AND CHILDEN- WHO DOESNT EMBARRASS ANYONE- OR WHO DOESNT MAKE SCENES IN PUBLIC-FINANCIALLY SUPPORTS HIMSELF AND HIS WOMAN- HE SAYS I GOT THIS BABY, BUT ALWAYS HAS COURTESY,KINNDESS AND HELPING OTEHRS WITHOUT STRINGS- ONES WHO ARE VERY LOVING AND CARING AT ALL TIMES- EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY AND THEY DO NOT WRONG ANOTHER HUMAN BEING -BUT PROTECT, AND PROVIDE ALWAYS- DONT LIE, STEAL /ROB/ CHEAT AND DO NOT EVER RAISE ANGRY HAND TO ANY FEMALES OR CHILDREN- AND DOESNT DRIVE UNSAFE- AND CUT PEOPLE OFF- ETC-- AND ESP DOES NOT FORCE HIMSELF UNWANTED ADVANCES ON ANY WOMEN- WHETHER ITS A KISS, HUG OR FEEL- THEY ALL NEED TO ASK CAN I TOUCH U ANYWHERE ON YR PRIVATE SPACE BODY- ALL WOMEN LIKE ME DO NOT ALLOW MEN TO TOUCH THEM UNLESS THEY WERE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH 1 GUY-LEAVES- CIGS, DRUGS ALCOHOL AND PORNO STRIPCLUBS AND BARS ALONE-- A TRUE GENTLE--- MAN-- THIS KEEPS HIM GENTLE- AND POLITE AND RESPECTFUL- DOESNT PRESSURE A WOMAN TO MAKE LOVE UNTILL SHE IS READY AND WANTS TO DO IT-- ON ANY LEVELS!!STAYS WITH HER CAUSE HE LOVES AND CHERISHES HER FOR HER NOT MONEY OR SEX- NO PIMPING!!!! THIS IS REDRUBY PROVERBS 31 CHIC- BEEN THRU ALOT OF DISRESPECT--- THIS IS OLD TIME HIGH HONOR RULES,CODES!!!! REAL CHRISTIANANITY--- VIRGIN RULES- LOVE AND CHERISHING RULES--- SAME GOES FOR THE LADY OF SELFLESSNESS- LIVE 4 JESUS AND PUTTING OTHERS FIRST AFTER THE CHILDREN WHO COME FIRST IN THIS WORLD--- LEADERS AND ROLE MODELS ARE DESPERATELY NEEDED IN 2010- AND BEYOND-- HOLD THE STANDARD- LADIES- TEACH YR SONS TO RESPECT A WOMAN--- NO ABUSES!!!!! BE PROUD OF YR BABY BOYS WHEN THEY GROW UP TO BE A REAL MAN OF HONOR- GOD WILL BE WELL PLEASED AND HIS FUTURE WIFE FOR LIFE! THANKS 4 LISTENING-DEEDEE
peterbeme
very interesting, it's sad to see something as simple as basic manners and politeness not being put in action, it makes all the difference
loyal19
nice story
thanks for posting
it
sjslakesideca
I really enjoyed your article. There are few people these days who even know what it is to be a gentleman. I think the reason for this is that the family unit has been so plagued by divorce and fathers who have abandoned their children physically and emotionally. The lack of mentors for our young people to learn from is very disturbing, tragic and unfortunately will not be corrected soon enough.

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