The Chase
I have been single for nearly three years now and have been on and off online dating for about two of those. I have met some lovely men and some with, shall we say, a different agenda to me. A friend of mine believes that I haven't met 'Mr Right' yet as I am too quick to respond to messages and to meet men. She believes in the theory of men needing 'The Chase.'
Her description of The Chase involves the woman not responding to emails and messages as soon as they are received or read. My friend believes that men prefer to 'chase' the woman, so to enable him to do this, she needs to make him wait for a period of time before responding to his messages. This could involve two or three days or more. 'The Chase' also involves not giving out much information and generally appearing to be disinterested. Further, she thinks it should be at least a month from first contact to meeting (if not longer) and that the woman should make herself generally unavailable for as long as possible.
My reason for posting this article is I am very interested to see both male and female perspectives on this. Personally, I feel that to do this amounts to little more than playing a game. I don't like these kind of games and prefer straight up and honest responses. Deliberately delaying messages just seems like a big game which I don't like. But others might not see it this way? What are your thoughts?
Comments (5)
being not a real good looking guy, i will email them once, and maybe once again a week later, but i am not afraid of asking a question or two, esp when their profile is skinny.
but if one is looking for a partnership, as opposed to some one begging, i don't believe her way would be the right way to arrive at a partnership.
some where in the distant past, pbs, put on a 1/2 hour little documentary, and the gist of it was that the person who is the "lessor" partner generally gets resentful, and then it fails. in my observation of mine and others it does seem to work that way.
obviously i like your approach.
steve
i read your article.let me tell you some thing,to come to the point after with..i am trying to find some real interested female for long term relationship in various dating website from a a period...But mostly i found the scams people from Nigeria or Africa countries...!
People are gaming others.....here involve male and female both,but i will agree with you that it's really really unfair to play with some one feelings...
I really appreciate this website of dating,that they mentioned all the possible trick of Scams to be avoid from there and make your self safe...
but here same like others have already scams,but we have to pointed them and safe this place
I have a suggestion: If with mail of the user could send the ip of his computer or his ISP,so it's would be a bit easy to know the person that how he is true on his/her words....
Thank you my friend
Jimmy Khan
Athens Greece
+306956468522
Do as you please.
Reason: men only look simple and uncomplicated. But they are humans, too, and as such, are completely unpredictable (with my being a sole exception. ALL women who've known me've called me predictable.)
So to scheem... is futile. You may be doing the right thing by the scheem, or the wrong thing. You may be doing the right thing by following your natural moral urges, or the wrong thing. "Right" and "wrong" being defined as "the thing that hooks him" or "the thing he will reject you for", respectively.
There is no telling ahead of time.
The only thing that will help you case is to look attractive. Everything else are reductive reasons to stop him from rejecting you.
If he finds you attractive, but you are too smart for his liking, he will reject you. If he finds you attractive, but you are too rich for his taste, he will reject you. Etc.
You can be all he ever wanted, or less, all the way down to all he ever wanted to not have, in small graduated steps on the scale of suitability; but if he doesn't like your looks, he will never bother with you.
In conlcusion, you're right, inasmuch as playing games is childish. On the other hand, you have no assurance whether playing games will help your cause or destroy your chances. It could go either way.
How about responding, going for that first coffee, meeting him, then decide if you want to have him chase you, but I personally dont play games, if you make it to hard we look for an easier catch.
joburgjon