Have you ever watched the woman you want go for a man that you know is a waste of space? If this is something that's happened to you, perhaps you wondered why on earth an intelligent woman would make such a poor choice. This article explains why women pick unsuitable men to date and offers hope to the good guys out there.
You may have noticed that certain women always seem to go for men that treat them badly. If you're a decent guy, seeing the women you want go for complete losers time after time can be rather exasperating. So why do some women waste their time with bad guys? After all, the vast majority of women are able to spot a bad man when they see one. There is actually more than one reason why women tend to make poor choices when it comes to dating men.Bad men do not spend their evenings in front of the television with a mug of hot chocolate. Instead they go out, get drunk, flirt with several women, sleep around, and maybe even break the law. While definitely not advocating any of those things, one would have to admit that the lives of bad men are anything but boring. In fact they can seem very glamorous. This sense of danger and excitement can make unsuitable men seem very appealing. Dating a bad man makes a woman feel that she is a little bit wicked and naughty too.
Unsuitable men don't usually want to commit to one woman. They are womanizers, and they enjoy playing the field. Thus this type of man represents a challenge to a woman. She thinks that she'll be the one to transform him into a faithful and loving partner, but she won't. She also believes she can change him, but she's wrong about that too. Nevertheless, it's human nature to long for what you can't have. Nice men do not present much of a challenge to women. That's because decent men are usually open and upfront about their feelings, and this can make them seem too easy to have.
Because bad guys are usually players, they tend to have a lot of experience with women. They are the men that know exactly what to say and do to pick up women in night clubs and other venues. Bad men know precisely what it is they want, and they are not afraid to take it. This gives women the impression that bad guys are confident and self-assured. Nice men are not brazen enough to approach a woman and start flirting insistently. That's because they worry that it will make them seem overly forward and presumptuous. Hence the nice guys are often overlooked.
The bad guy knows he can have his choice of women, and that gives him extra appeal. When a woman becomes the girlfriend of a bad man, she feels that she is special because he picked her rather than one of the hundreds of other women he could have had. This makes the woman feel gorgeous, and gives her ego a boost. Her bad boyfriend may be unfaithful, but that's fine provided he comes home to her at the end of the day.
A loving and contented relationship can come to feel boring for the type of young woman who craves drama and excitement. When a woman is happy and content with a good man, there aren't as many dramas, arguments or disagreements. Instead, things are pretty much peaceful and serene. Being with a bad guy is usually painful, but there is no shortage of drama. A relationship with a bad man is always full of discord and upset. There is very likely to be a pattern of breaking up and getting back together. This pattern is bitter-sweet, and therefore addictive. After a while, women who date one bad guy after another come to think that love should hurt, and feel that anything less than pain is mundane.
Some women unconsciously pick bad men to date because they are still hurting from a recent break up. Commitment is the last thing they want, even though they may not be aware of it. If a woman chooses a guy she knows has a bad character, then there is next to no chance that the relationship will develop into something more meaningful. Hence the odds of the woman getting hurt again are significantly reduced. After all, a man cannot break a woman's trust if she doesn't have any confidence in him to begin with.
When you are a good guy, getting passed up in favor of someone you know isn't a decent person can make you feel miserable. Fortunately, there is still hope for the good men when it comes to women. First of all, some women grow up and realize that bad guys aren't good for them. They also figure out that love isn't supposed to be consistently painful. Furthermore, there is much you can do to attract women if you happen to be a decent guy. For instance, you can avoid the temptation to wear your heart on your sleeve and express your feelings prematurely. You can also set boundaries, and avoid being too soft with women. You don't have to be cruel or mean to get a woman's respect. You merely have to be assertive. Always remember that if you act like a doormat, you make it hard for women to resist wiping their boots on you. Also if you put a woman on a pedestal, you shouldn't be surprised when she kicks it down.
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Comments (31)
Are somehow attracted to bad guys maybe?
I got no clue,and believe me i've tried to understand women...
James Bond 007 compared to that mission of understanding women its a joke.
At least from the point of view of a pragmatic person and pretty much skeptic.
thank ya for the Article
1) Girls pick the guys, not the other way around.
2) Some girls DO go for dirtbags and Bad Boys. Dunno why, but then again attraction is primal.
3) IF the female survives and IF she wakes up, she'll recognize the good feeling of not living in constant fear. If not, she may be one of many self-induced DV casualties. In my line of work, we'd find a damsel in distress, move heaven and Earth to help her find shelter, and keep the beater from her, and in short order, she's selected another beater, just as bad as the first. Perhaps a psychologist can give a better analysis.
4) Assuming this particular female wakes up, what sort of damage has she sustained? Permanent damage? STDs? Kids? Is she even desirable at this point?
5) I suppose the results vary by the individual, but this is what happens when we are governed by emotions, unchecked by logic.
6) Contrariwise, I suppose just as many, if not more, women are very practical in mate selection. Guys who were nerds in high school, but now commanding 6 figures, are as likely as not able to meet up with a fine woman.
There is an ancient Chinese saying: "In writings (books) there are Golden Houses."
The translation being, those who land a learned profession can obtain fine houses, wives, etc..
with woman in this life!So to be alone better than to have woman.
This world is evil ,soon have its end.so many people loves evil and refuse good.
Those that accept good and refuse evil,shall be saved and live in perfect good world!
Bad guys are bad news and vice versa! I say be smart and choose wisely or you could have a lifetime of heartbreak just from thinking with your eyes instead of your brain
Bad guys are bad news and vice versa! I say be smart and choose wisely or you could have a lifetime of heartbreak just from thinking with your eyes instead of your brain
both victim and the masked share mirrored narcissism.
The victim unmasks the narcissist.
Victim evolves into the narcissism baring a mask or continues being the victim.
While the narcissist finds a new victim...and so the act continues.
From a spiritual aspect,
both light and dark, dance as one
to experience pain and pleasure.
The dark becomes light
and the light becomes dark.
The transfer for karma is completed.
One that played the light in previous act becomes the dark in this next drama.
One that played the dark in previous play becomes the light in this next scene.
This cycle or wheel is known as dharma.
For one becomes whole,
bringing contrast to living.
From an electrical view,
On a circuit board of resistance, power, and currency.
Can you turn her off, there?
And can you turn her on, here?
If one can do this in many places.
...This is "power"...they are attracted to it.
So this article is wrong in that it makes a bold and sweeping generalisations about 'women'. It's actually barbed in a tone of misogynistic resentment towards women. I feel he is actually twisting a certain amount of half truths to take a pot shot at women with his own subjective readings from popular psychology. So women picking bad boys is relative to the degree they have suffered dysfunction and how they feel about themselves and the converse is true where healthy women will choose nice men relative to the their own sense of self worth. The person who wrote this is to be possibly a manipulative individual who uses any awareness and insights into how he can manipulate vulnerable women.
act like the perfect gentleman you told me to get lost.
Hmmmmm However I guess I had it coming.
mate you just described me to the T ...I've always been called "Mr nice guy" walk over
cheers
As shallow and superficial as they are, bad guys are always floating on the surface of social life. Go to any party, night club etc. and you'll spot them right away. They always keep themselves in the foreground. But they will never pull the wool over your eyes if you keep them open. They are so obvious.
The thing is that opposite sides attract and the good kind men will be attracted to the Bad ladies. So in the end no one will be happy for very long.
You see the cheaters should all be together the males and females but they choose the ones they can walk over. I met a man who was complaining about his ex- wife and my ex had the same ways. I think that both our partners should have been together.
Thank you is
I could equally ask why is it men _say_ they want women to be honest and straight-forward and then ignore any woman who is?
Or I could ask why men moan about having to pay for everything and then get shirty on a date if I offer to pay. Both genders can be guilty of confusing inconsistencies.
to summarize it all: we all at one time fall for PRETTY WORDS....
also they are professional cons..... they are GOOD at the game.
I stayed in a marriage for 25 years, because I listened to the PRETTY WORDS, not the actions...
however, when I saw the actions, his PRETTY WORDS were always the stronger of the two....
yeah, people say, "you just didn't want to know", my reaction is: "the hell I didn't", I just couldn't catch him.....
Now, at my age, I would give a million dollars to find a good man, and he wouldn't have to speak any PRETTY WORDS, he would just need to wrap me in his loving arms and let his heart speak!
mlk52