Six Secrets of Success in a Committed Relationship

Six Secrets of Success in a Committed Relationship

There are moments when love appears to be falling apart, and commitment itself can seem threatened at times. It can be very hard to make a committed relationship work, even if you and your partner are both in it for the long haul. Happily, there are some basic ways to keep your love alive. Both your outlook and the way you communicate can have a powerful effect. Here are some ways to find and keep the happiness you want and need.

Be Practical

There are methods for success in all areas of life, including long-term love. When you want a job, you submit a resume and go for an interview. If the interview is not going well, you don't lose your temper, you search around in your mind for ways to steer things in a better direction. It's the same with a relationship. There is a lot of happiness in commitment, but there is also work. The more you do your part, the more love and pleasure you will find. Nothing worth having ever just drops into your lap. While you may enjoy the passionate moments, it's important to keep an overall levelheaded perspective. Passion can easily turn to anger and resentment if you expect to live happily ever after by magic rather than by effort. Love lasts when your heart and your head work together.

Remember the Big Picture

Nobody is delighted with a partner 100% of the time. Daily life is full of distractions, and everybody has bad days and bad moods. It's important to keep the ideal of the relationship in mind, no matter how you feel. Commitment is not only about feelings; it's about learning to live together happily. It's always a work in progress. If you get caught up in times of upset, just stop to pause and remember that bad moments will pass, but the relationship and your partner will still be there. Keep your eyes on the important things, and do not let distractions lead you astray.

Think Before You Speak

It's easy to forget your partner's feelings sometimes, especially during arguments. The great rule of communication is to speak to another person with the same respect and consideration that you expect from others. If you think about it, your own challenging attitude could be pushing your partner into assuming a more challenging attitude him/herself. Loving commitment is not about stubbornly demanding that the other person take the higher ground. Do it yourself! Swallowing your pride can bring you benefits that outweigh the momentary discomfort of your effort.

Maintain a Two-Way Discussion

When you feel hurt, the temptation to stop listening is a powerful one. If you feel wronged, it is very easy to dig in, take a stand, and stop hearing what your partner is trying to say. You can start objecting to the ways he or she expresses something and simply stop making the effort to understand your partner. However, if you care about ensuring that love lasts, you will avoid cutting off lines of communication. A commitment requires the effort of two people to succeed. When you shut out your partner, you are only going against your own interests. The momentary satisfaction of standing your ground will soon give way to greater instability and insecurity in the relationship.

Have the Courage to Admit Being Wrong

At times, there is no more powerful word than "sorry." To continue arguing when you feel like you are losing ground is defensive, which actually shows weakness. It takes great strength to swallow your pride and admit to the one you love that you have made a mistake. In fact, finding small things to apologize for can soften your partner's attitude, and an argument can turn into a discussion. Admitting you are wrong is a small bit of heroism compared to the rewards of love that can follow. No argument should ever end with only one person apologizing. Surely, you did or said something that you regret. Dare to let your guard down!

Remember That You Both Have Needs

You may feel vulnerable at times, but so does your partner. Few of us ever admit it. Selfishness only works in the short term, but it can destroy a relationship in the end. Everybody has grown up in different situations, so no two people feel, think, or act in exactly the same way. It's worth your time and effort to understand that your partner may be very different from you in many ways. How grateful would you be if your partner suddenly expressed interest in the things that concern you and wanted to show love in the ways that would mean the most to you? Well, why not try approaching your partner with the same consideration yourself? You can either sit around, waiting to grow closer to someone, or you can take action right now. You can do it yourself. The more you both understand each other, the closer you will grow, and the stronger the bonds of the relationship will be. Remember, young children are not good gift-givers because they make presents of things they themselves like. Adults give presents that the recipients will enjoy. Try to see your partner's perspective, be gentle around the sensitive spots, and the love you share will become a powerful, lasting force.

Don't Be Afraid to Be Romantic

Sadly, far too many relationships lack basic expressions of affection. Your partner needs comfort, pleasure, and reassurance just as much as you do. Saying " I love you," giving him/her a little token of affection, doing the dishes when your partner is tired, and other small gestures all go a long way toward securing the security, peace, and happiness you both long for. In the beginning, it may be hard if one or both of you are not used to it, but affection is an easy habit to pick up.


What you get out of a relationship will never be better than what you put into it. These six approaches are valuable tools for building a lasting, committed successful relationship, one that is not only personally satisfying, but which will also hold the assurance of much satisfaction and love in the future.

Comments (1)

Newchat
I agree wit all the above

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