Connecting Singles for Dummies

I decided to write this tiny article because when I first tried to use this site I found the organization of it lacking. An overwhelming amount of top menu items, no guidance, hard to find help, etc..

So this is for you if you are serious about using the Internet for dating, or you are looking for a serious relationship. If you are just surfing the net playing, read no further.

To start, ignore the scary scammer warnings for now. Go back and look at them later, but unless you are totally clueless about the Internet, you probably know much of this stuff already.

The first thing to do is build a good profile. A complete a one as you are comfortable with. The site will guide you through building a basic profile which will give you an account and and let you log in. But this is a basic profile. Once you have an account, go look in your mailbox. No, no one has sent you mail yet, but there is default welcoming email from connecting singles. I didn't even bother to read it at first, thinking it was just the usual computer generated "Hi, thanks for joining ConnectingSingles" type thing. But no, there is a lot of good info in it about completing your profile with "extended information" and "extended search information". Read it, follow the directions (because it is hard to find this area without help) and fill it out as honestly as possible. If you are a serious person, honesty everywhere on the site will work to your advantage. A lot of people make pretty detailed searches so if your profile lacks the information others are searching with, you will be passed by and not be a hit for them.

Once you have an account, and log in, help is easy to find. Look in the upper right hand corner when you are at the "My Home" screen. Not that the help will tell you any of the info below.

Let's suppose you have done a good job of supplying profile information. And supplied at least one photo. Good. You're not invisible. Note the "supplied at least one photo". This is important. Most people set their search criteria so that profiles without a picture are not even considered. So, no photo, no laundry. The one photo. It MUST be recent and a close up of your face. Chemistry is important and you don't want to waste your time with people who for whatever reason don't like your face. Someone will, and that's who you are looking for. That said, there's every reason to make this photo as flattering as possible. Everyone has had photos they look awful in, eyes closed, bad hair day, expression, whatever. You want a smiling face that is the best of you. If you don't have one, make one. Get a friend to take 100 pictures of you and pick the best one. Close up, good lighting, good expression; it's really important.

OK, you have a good face picture. To gild the lily, a few more won't hurt. Get one that shows you from the waist up, leaning slightly forward, good smile, an interesting background. For best effect, one more is photo is needed. This is a full body shot, toes to hair, clothing that represents your style and attitude. This is another chemistry thing. These three are the basic ones you need to avoid needless communication with people you don't want to know anyway. Then, you can add other ones showing you doing things you like. This is fluff, but will make you more interesting than the average couch potato.

Now, others can find you. You can search with quite a bit of detail. This is the hard part. You do a search and get some hits and you look at the photos and find someone who interests you. You can send them a flower or send them an email. Forget the flower thing, that is for adolescents. Write an email. Be yourself, don't be pushy, show some class. Don't worry about rejection. Don't even think about it. If they are a reasonable person, they can reject you politely enough. If they're not, who cares. With a little luck and some time (remember, not everyone is looking when you are), you will be on your way with new relationships.

There are a lot of other features on this website, but most of them fall in the entertainment category. You can read other articles like this one. You can review other people's profiles - actually the entertainment here is reading the responses to requests to review a profile - you can take silly quizzes, you can be both depressed and amazed at the stuff you will find by clicking on the top menu items. Surf around a bit and be entertained.

Good luck and good hunting!