Is Your Relationship Based on Sex?

Is Your Relationship Based on Sex

If a couple has a great sex life but other aspects of the relationship are lacking, it probably won't last. If you are concerned that your relationship is based on sex-only, you will want to look at your relationship honestly and objectively. Learn to recognize the signs that indicate whether a relationship is based more on lust than love.

People are attracted to one another for various reasons and not all relationships are based on love. People are often drawn to each other because of a physical attraction. While there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone because of the way he or she looks, the relationship will be shallow and superficial if the physical attraction is the only basis for the involvement.

A good relationship should consist of a strong loving connection between two individuals with each partner loving the other enough to put the needs of their loved ones before their own. A good sex life is part of a healthy relationship but if that relationship is centered on lust more than love, it probably will not last.

How do you know if your relationship is more lustful than loving? You need to take a close look at the relationship and evaluate your feelings honestly. If your mind is always focused on sex and you find yourself looking at other parts of her anatomy rather than making eye contact during a conversation, your relationship stands a good chance of being lustful. If the sex is so great that you cannot get enough, you have a bad case of lust.

The problem with relationships based on physical appearance and sex is that people lose interest when they realize that they have nothing in common beyond the bedroom. Partners eventually become bored with each other. During a conversation, the two partners may find that they have nothing of significance to talk about. They may also realize that they do not share the same interests, morals or values. In fact, they may find that they are on opposite sides of most issues. Although there is nothing wrong with having different views, the partners in a sex-only relationship may find out that unless they are engaged in sexual relations there is nothing left of the relationship, in many cases nothing else to do.

Having sex to make up after arguments is common in sex-based relationships. The couple has sexual relations then everything is fine until the next argument but the problem remains because they are not solving the issues. The couple usually spends most of their time breaking up and then making up again. Can this type of relationship work? A relationship needs substance and a secure foundation to succeed. This type of relationship can work if the couple matures beyond just the physical attraction and sexual chemistry.

People sometimes confuse intimacy with sex. Being intimate with someone is much more than just having sexual relations. Physical intimacy can develop rather quickly but intimacy on a deeper emotional level takes time. Sex is a temporary fix but it cannot fulfill the need for true intimacy. People that engage in superficial relationships such as those that are centered on sex, often fear commitment. They long for closeness but fear being hurt. The fear makes it difficult to become intimate on any other level other than a sexual level. They opt for lust rather than love so they can experience closeness without allowing their emotions to be involved in order to avoid being hurt.

A relationship without love and true intimacy does not stand much of a chance. Everyone needs to love and be loved. Love encompasses all levels from physical to emotional and even spiritual. In order to experience a multi-level type of love, we need to let go of the fear of being hurt and allow love to happen completely. There is always the potential for hurt but if we do not allow ourselves to open up to that potential, we cannot truly experience love.

Comments (7)

Takoman1
Totally explained what ive just experienced for myself! Sucks!
eyekandi
Its an honest article. relationships are hard work, if you want it to last. sex is important, but should not be the only thing on one's mind. i like a combination of both, great sex, and intimacy.
Hallotoyou
Well writen article, with so many true Words.
GuttentagEurope
50% 50% is it
StockPilot
This is a great article that I wish more people would read and heed.

Lust dies but love is forever.
GuttentagEurope
50-50% ----------------
esperanzado
OH BOY! this relationship stuff seems complicated.are you saying to much of a good thing can be bad?rolling on the floor laughing
LizB89: "So will this attract a decent enough man?"(meet us in the in profile reviews)

Would YOU like to publish an article on Connecting Singles?

Would YOU like to publish an article on Connecting Singles? Are you an expert at something, have an interesting story, or a good lesson to teach... why not share with other members. If you have experience or expertise in a topic that will be of interest to CS members, you may submit an article to be published on the site.
Post your own Article »