Are You a Turnoff?

Sometimes we get the idea in our heads that we should "just be ourselves" and if others don't like it they can lump it. If the image you're portraying, however, isn't at least a little fine-tuned, you may be at risk of turning people off. Your relaxed image may be the very thing that is standing in your way of gaining dates or suitable employment.

There's a lot to be said about relaxing, being yourself and showing others who you really are. Genuine people draw others in. But who is it you are portraying yourself to be? Can letting it all hang loose actually work against you?

So are you a turnoff? In many cases the answer may be "yes". Here are a few scenarios you might want to look at:

1. If you've got a hot body, that's great, but if all your free time is spent developing your body to the exclusion of other interests or people, then it will become apparent you are self-absorbed. If you can't stop looking at yourself and talking about how hot you are, you can actually be a turn-off. No one wants to waste their time on someone all wrapped up in themselves.
2. If you are an "anything goes" type where your wardrobe is concerned, you might want to think again. Women are turned off by guys in dirty, wrinkled shirts with buttons missing and ill-fitting stained jeans. If you've been wearing the same shoes for five years, chances are they are both out-of-date and worn, which indicates you don't care about your self-image.
3. Guys are turned off by girls whose bellies bulge through too tight tops, or when bare bellies droop beneath too short t-shirts. Too much cleavage showing can actually work against you and make those around you feel uncomfortable. Low-cut tops are inappropriate for most workplace settings and give an unprofessional look. Do you want to be seen for who you are, or for your boob size?
   
   Take a long good look in your closet and get updated. Look at yourself in the mirror from a variety of angles. If you don't know how to dress yourself, ask a store clerk to help you find appropriate, flattering clothing. Clothes do make a person.
4. Maybe toilet humour was popular when you were a kid, but there comes a time when it comes across as immature and rude. Farting and belching in public are just plain turnoffs. Take a long good look at how you act in social settings and take an inventory of old habits that need changing. Read an etiquette book if you are completely uneducated about proper decorum. If you have a chronic 'gas' problem, see a doctor about changes to your diet.
5. What does drinking mean to you? Is drinking something you do while enjoying other activities, or is drinking the main activity? Do you drink until you're drunk or passed-out? Being a drunk isn't cool. It shows a lack of self-control and may show your worst side. You may actually make those you want to impress run the other way for fear they will end up in a relationship with an alcoholic. It is never appropriate to get drunk at work-related socials. You earn a bad reputation when you do. Some businesses have restrictions on having alcohol at work-related functions for safety reasons and in order for their insurance to stay intact. Respect the rules of your employer.
6. Be cautious of what you post on social networking sites, or what photos you are tagged in. Lewd photos and inappropriate status updates can break you. Potential employers, significant others, and those in your business and social network can easily become turned off and want to cut ties with you if they don't approve of what they see.

Do a regular check-up to make sure you aren't sliding down the slippery slope of turning others off with inappropriate behaviour, shoddy looks, self-absorbed conversation and a questionable portfolio of photos. Instead, show off your good qualities, like the ability to be kind, encouraging, a good listener, well-mannered and professional. It will get you further ahead in life!