Whether you're preparing for a blind date, finally meeting your online flame, or having dinner with an acquaintance for the first time, you've probably got a case of the jitters. Unfortunately, sometimes those jitters are well warranted. Making common and innocent mistakes on your first date can send the wrong message and result in your first date also being your last.
Don't be surprised if your date scopes out the venue before walking up and introducing himself. Do you really want him to see that you were so eager to meet him that you arrived 15 minutes early and are now sitting by yourself waiting patiently for his arrival? This sends the message that you're desperate for a date.
If your cell phone rings during your date, by all means, answer it. Do not, however, stay on the phone with the caller for more than two minutes. Answer the phone, tell your friend or family member you're on a date, and hang up. Very little will make your date feel worse than you ignoring him to talk on the phone. In addition, refraining from cell phone use during a date prevents your companion from overhearing something he shouldn't from a particularly loud caller.
If you're meeting at a restaurant on your first date, eat what you order. Put aside any self-consciousness you may have about your date thinking you're being a "pig" and simply enjoy yourself. It's far worse to waste your date's money and suffer from an embarrassing growling stomach later on than to simply eat your meal.
You're nervous, he's nervous, so its perfectly normal to have a few drinks during the date to steady your nerves right? Wrong. Have one social drink if you must, but getting drunk on a first date sends the message that you're a lush--even if you rarely touch alcohol. Plus, you don't want to say or do things you won't remember the following day.
If you are too nervous to make conversation with your date, he'll likely misinterpret your shyness as disinterest and refrain from asking you out again. If you know you have a tendency to clam up when you're apprehensive, write down a few icebreakers ahead of time to save you from your own awkward silences.
Nothing emasculates a man like a woman paying for a first date. It's perfectly reasonable to negotiate who pays for evenings out when you're in a relationship, but let your date pay for dinner or a movie on your first night out together. If you insist on paying for everything, your date might get the feeling that you think he can't afford to take you out.
Sure, you look fantastic in that miniskirt and those four inch heels--until you try to walk. Casual attire is not only appropriate for a first date, its usually expected. You don't want to make your date feel underdressed, and you certainly don't want to overwhelm him with glam. Besides, there's a fine line between looking like a movie star and looking like a call girl. Save yourself the embarrassment and don't toe that line.
First dates are full of hypothetical questions. Hypothetical questions help you delve further into the personality of the individual you're with. If you're going to quiz your date, however, stay away from questions concerning marriage, kids, and the future. Even if you're just curious, your companion may interpret your questioning the wrong way.
Even if your date asks about your previous relationships, divulging all the gory details about your ex-boyfriend and your messy breakup isn't going to win you any brownie points. Talking too much about an ex sends the message that you aren't quite ready to move on. To be safe, don't discuss your previous relationships with your date at all. If it comes up, simply point out that you and your ex didn't see eye to eye, and leave it at that.
Just about everyone knows at least one happily married couple that ended up spending the night together on their first date. That does not, however, mean heading back to his place after dinner and a few drinks is a good idea. Even if your date is a willing participant, going home with him sends the message that you go home with everyone you date. That can easily result in your first date turning into a one night stand rather than a healthy relationship.
Your goal for a first date doesn't have to be happily ever after. Have a good time and let your personality shine, but be careful not to ruin things before they get started by scaring your date away.
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Comments (5)
I
should feel like having a nice time,rather than being interregated.
I could overlook anything else.
By all means,if two parties want to spend the night together,why not?We are no teenagers anymore(unfortunately).It would not make me loose respect,infact it would make happy to see that my date is confident and honest.
only a total wimp would feel emasculated if a woman paid for a date..if shes working and has a few euro..why shouldnt she pay
but if she insisted on paying all the time, i wouldnt for one min think its because she thinks i cant afford..i would feel shes just a control freak
and mines a budwesier..cheers!