Commitment is the next logical step from dating for a prolonged period. For you 'commitment' is exclusivity, calling each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' and meeting the parents. With commitment comes security and a relaxed approach to your relationship together. The mind games and playing hard to get are replaced with honesty. However, what if the guy you've been dating isn't so keen on making motions towards being in a relationship? Do you hang on in there hoping that he'll change his mind or do you cut your losses and try to find a guy who will commit? Here are some thoughts and tips for you to think over that will help you make that decision.
If you don't ask, you'll never get. He may assume that you're both happily going along with the dating thing and he doesn't want to rock the boat by developing the relationship. It is important to communicate your feelings, but don't overdo it. You only need to talk to him once about your desire to have an exclusive relationship. He'll get the message. If you nag him about it repeatedly, he is less likely to take up the offer because you're being pushy. Make it clear that you don't want to move in together at this point but you do want commitment from him.
He is more likely to want to make a commitment to you if you are the kind of woman he can see himself in a long-term relationship with. You don't have to take on a new persona to make yourself a more attractive prospect, but you can avoid certain kinds of behaviors that are off-putting. Don't be too clingy. He doesn't want to feel that you are wholly dependant on him to function. Make him aware that you want to be with him, but if he doesn't reciprocate, you are also in a position to move on and find someone else.
What does 'commitment' mean to you? Chances are, it'll have a different meaning for you as it does for him. If you're at the stage of wanting to move from dating and into a relationship, you've probably only known each other for a matter of months. Don't expect him to drop down on one knee and whip out a diamond ring. Men often play a slow and steady race when it comes to developing a loving relationship. Play the same game or you might just scare him off by expecting too much.
If his lack of commitment is constantly at the back of your mind, distract yourself with other things. Work on improving your life outside of spending time with him. Reconnect with your friends and embrace your own social life. Go out for dinner with your girlfriends, or to a bar. You'll not only have fun doing so, but when he knows that you're not always at his beck and call, it might just make him want to make a commitment before he loses you.
If he really won't budge but you think he's worth sticking around for, it's time to start dating other people. This may feel like a contradiction, but it has multiple benefits. Firstly, it will allow you to confirm to yourself that you are an attractive woman and are quite capable of catching the interest of other men. This will boost your confidence and a confident woman is a woman who men will commit to. Secondly, by dating other men, you may discover that the guy you've been holding out for doesn't actually measure up to the new guys you've met. It'll give you a new perspective on whether he really is the man for you. If you still want a commitment from him, dating other guys will drive him crazy. He'll be reminded that you're a fantastic woman who other men clearly want to spend time with. It might make him realize that making a commitment to you is the only way to keep you in his life.
Don't wait a lifetime for him make a commitment to you. Make him want to commit to you and if you're still left feeling cold, move on and find a man and a relationship that you deserve.
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