The Danger in Dating a Control Freak

It starts innocently enough. At first you may be flattered and think that the first signs of control in your relationship are cute. Think again. Many women have had their lives turned upside down by a controlling man. Some women have had to escape their situations with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Never ignore signs of control in a relationship. To do so can be one of the most dangerous mistakes a woman can make.

Control freaks actually fear losing you. They actually suffer from low self-esteem that they have learned to mask by controlling behavior. Some people are just bossy. That needs to be distinguished as a different behavior then controlling behavior.

Let's say you have short hair. The control freak will say something to you like "I like your hair better when it's long." The next time he will say, "Don't ever cut your hair short again or I will leave you." In order to control you this man will try and tear your self-esteem down. Look at it this way; lets say you are a building that wants to be the tallest building in town. You have two choices. You can build yourself up or tear the other buildings down. The controlling man tears everyone around him down to build himself up.

Controlling men, if allowed, will control every aspect of your life. At first a woman will fight it. After a while a woman learns that it's easier for her to just keep quiet. She stuffs her feelings and does what he wants. She may resent it. Just when she decides to say something to the man he does something nice and so she keeps her mouth shut again and again.

If you finally sit down and confront the controlling man he acts as if he doesn't know what you are talking about. In fact, most controlling men never will admit to being control freaks. They believe the world revolves around them and that you should just simply give in to them and their desires.

Most controlling men don't show this side of themselves until you are either living with them or married to them. By then you are "hooked" and they believe that they have you exactly where they want you. You can't change them and so, unbelievably, a lot of women simply give them their way.

One woman found out exactly how controlling her husband was when she stayed at the gym for an extra thirty minutes. When she got home her new husband was agitated and demanded to know exactly where she had been. She explained to him that she was talking to friends and time simply got away from her. He let her know, in no uncertain terms, that when she told him she would be home at a certain time he expected her home at that time. The next time she found herself running a bit late she began to get anxious. This is a prime example of how the tearing down of a woman by a control freak begins to dominate her life.

One third of American women have reported that at some time in their lives they were involved in controlling relationships. A good relationship is built on trust. Controlling men are, therefore, very difficult to form a trusting relationship with. Unless they can control every aspect of a woman's life they aren't easy to live with.

So if you are involved with a controlling man what should you do? Realize that this relationship may never change. Most controlling men are so insecure that, without serious counseling, they will never change. Life is short. Relationships should be built on mutual trust. With the controlling man a woman loses herself in pleasing him. Nothing is worth the loss of your own self-esteem. Consider it a life lesson and move on. Close the door and never look back, for your own good. This isn't love, it's dysfunction, and you don't need it.