A Relationship Saver: Taming Your Jealousy

Jealousy, it is a very human emotion that each one of us feels from time to time. Although a bit of jealousy can actually benefit a relationship, constant or intense jealousy will inevitably doom it.

Whether you are a jealous person at heart or this is your first experience with the green-eyed monster, it is important to first establish the validity of the emotion in your particular circumstance. Be open with your partner if he is behaving in a way that is making you uneasy. Although constantly informing your partner that you feel insecure is not a good idea, according to Helen Fisher, PhD, one partner may feel secretly flattered when the other is mildly jealous.

Dr. Fisher also states that jealousy can benefit a relationship by reigniting the lust and romance in it after catching someone else flirting with your beloved. These positive forms of jealousy are normal and do not require a microscopic focusing of your energy.

However, constant or intense jealousy can quickly breakdown the bonds of trust in a relationship. Not only may your partner feel insulted by your lack of trust but may also begin to wonder if it is in fact you who has something to hide.

Building a solid relationship, one that lasts through time, requires that both people be secure in themselves and trusting of the other. According to Psychology Today, "those who are most insecure, in fact, may be most unrealistic in perceiving threats and making accusations. But this same view of jealousy also suggests that the emotion need not be unleashed on a destructive path; it can instead serve a highly constructive purpose—as a valuable signal to look within and repair one's own sense of self."

Therefore, in order to save your relationship, it is critical to address your insecurities which are leading you to feel jealous. Harness the massive amount of energy and thought that you have been putting into feeling jealous and redirect it into bettering yourself. Positive affirmations, counseling, and prayer are all methods that may effectively improve your confidence and self-comfort.

Jealousy is a natural emotion that should not be stifled. Rather, it should be acknowledged thoughtfully because it is an indication that either your relationship is in jeopardy or your self-confidence. Once the first situation has been ruled out, the focus should be turned inward for coping with jealousy. If not handled appropriately, you will find it becoming an issue in every relationship to come.