The U.S. Census Bureau tells us that of the 97 million Americans who are 45 or older, almost 40 percent, 36.2million are available singles. If you are over fifty and newly single you may find that the singles scene is a bit more challenging then it was years ago when you were dating. The dating game is an adventure. If you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life you have no choice but to jump right in. There are a few things you will want to become aware of before you do.
You need to be able to show yourself in the best light and be honest about who you are. In other words, don't use a picture of yourself that is twenty years old, if you try online dating. It's dishonest and it will come back to bite you in the posterior. Before you jump back into the dating scene spend a few months getting yourself buffed up. Eat right and exercise. Update your wardrobe. You don't have to spend a lot of money to dress stylish. Next, have a close friend take a "natural" picture of you. Staged photo's are out. Natural looking photos are in.
The competition is out there and there is lots of it. Think of online dating as job hunting. If you were looking for a job you would need a resume that highlights the best of your accomplishments. Write a profile that shows you in the best light possible. If need be, write a couple of rough drafts and then choose between them. Be yourself. If you aren't into hiking, don't say so in your profile. Do stress what you are interested in. Your goal is to find someone to spend a lifetime with. You want to make sure that you have the same likes and dislikes. Be honest about yourself.
Protect yourself. Do not share your personal information with anyone immediately, no matter how nice they seem. If you do decide to talk to someone on the phone, block your number with *67 before you call. The best thing to do is to get the online prospect to call you first. That way you can still maintain privacy if you find out, after conversation, this is not someone you are interested in.
When you decide to meet someone for the first time, do it in a public place. A coffee date is great. That way there is no chance of a problem if the person turns out to be nothing like you expected. You simply enjoy a cup of coffee and then say politely "Nice meeting, you."
If the first date goes well, you should next progress to a dinner date. Take it slow, and enjoy yourself. Tell yourself "It's not the rest of my life, it's just a date." Be interested and be interesting. Try to spend more time listening then talking about you. You may have just ended the marriage from hell. Do yourself and your date a favor, don't talk about it. If you are still broken hearted over the ending of your marriage, give yourself more time to heal before dating.
Your frame of mind is not the same as it was when you were younger. You may not be looking for the same things you were looking for at 20. Concentrate on finding someone that you enjoy spending a lot of time with. Make sure that you feel comfortable with the other person. People are living longer, and you may end up spending another forty years with a new mate. Take your time and don't rush it.
Don't be a cynic, but don't believe everything you are told. There are people on the dating scene with agenda's. Take the time to find out as much as you can about someone before you take the plunge. Meet their family; find out where they have lived, and where they have worked. Think of it as protecting yourself and your assets. If you do find out that the person is lying to you, don't make excuses for them; move on to another prospective relationship.
Don't believe people who say, "There are no good people out there! All they want is a younger women or man. Who will want me?" Statistics have proven that just is not true. What a person over fifty is looking for is a great companion that takes reasonably good care of themselves. So be proactive, don't sit around, simply get up and open the door on the rest of your life. The best is yet to come.
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Comments (21)
Dont get your Private area all cranked up because it's probably just some dam guy wearing a dress.
Thank you
By the way if you're a gent with class, make sure the sock is washed.
Unless you want to be like me and save detergent.
and what you want and not. ...Stay posetive ..Good luck !
It is definitely scary at this point in my life. I thought by now I'd be settled with my senior years planned out ahead of me. When I was younger we all knew each other from school & even knew each other's families. I really don't like the "police detective" mentality to dating...and I won't be treated that way either by a man. I am not at all receptive to "inquisitions." So I am not sure if the online medium is the best one for me...but I'm here.
We'll see...I plan to try to stay open minded.
Just thought id say hi ,
Quite interseting whats been writen concerning us older ones ,
yet does age have to be a stand off point i dont think so .
amy way its back to the bush for this Kiwi & get some tucker ,
Then some time
see ya s
1. When french kissing, be careful your false teeth don't fall out, or..
2. When french kissing, take your false teeth out for a smoother finish.
3. Men, don't worry as much about having condoms as whether your secret viagra necklace is locked and loaded.
4. Don't worry about having to meet her parents..they're already dead.
5. Should you kiss her on the first date?..Hell yes, in fact, go all the way, life is too short to hold back now.
6. If he/she doesn't call you the next day, should you feel upset or used? No, grateful is more appropriate.
The last two sentences of the above statement are pivotal. I've met many people, at all age ranges that have just given up. Even been tempted there myself .... but, I'm not one to just sit around and wait for the love of my life to fall from the sky.
Get out and get involved .... volunteer organizations, coffee at your favorite bookstore, civic events, just anything actually .... you just never know who's around the corner ....
I am an exception. I stood on the grounds of principle and petitioned for custody of my 3 yr. granddaughter. I had to think of what would be best for her future before my own in doing so. It has been two years since then and how many men want to be around a child at that age?? Maybe even fewer in younger men. I have 15 years until she will be old enough to go to college. I am not looking for a someone to be her Dad, just care for her as much as she would care for them.
So although I have no regrets, I have to wonder how long it may take to find that person who thinks outside the box.