Taking Back Control of Your Life

Yes you were scammed, like many of us here on dating and social sites; you are hurt, devastated, emotionally wrung out, embarrassed, humiliated, doubting yourself, mourning the loss of your love and broken dreams. You are asking what you did wrong and why were you so stupid as to get taken by this slick romance scammer. You were dreaming of a new life, everlasting love, a home, lifelong happiness, now that is all gone and now you are at a loss not knowing where or whom to turn to.

Stop Right There! You did nothing wrong! You were just looking for friendship and companionship, and got took in by a group of very Sophisticated Pathological Criminals who planned to entrap you with the promise and vision of love and happiness. Yes, they studied your profile, what you have said and wrote to them and developed a campaign that is tailored to meet your wants, needs and dreams, slowly ensnaring you in their web of deceit as they emotionally and psychologically bound you to them.

Now it is your turn to be in control and take back what was taken from you.

1. Realize that the Avatar (stolen picture)you were falling for is not the person that you were building a relationship with. The picture is just a screen used by the romance scammer to hide behind while they ensnare you. Also realize that you were not talking to one person, but to a criminal gang of mostly young black African men and boys that are focused on stealing from you.

2. Know that there is nothing wrong in looking for friendship /
companionship or love, as each of us needs to have friends in our lives and yes love.

3. You should not feel as though you were less of a person/ignorant or even thoughts of being less intelligent, as these criminals operate a sophisticated, pathological program designed to ensnare and entrap your emotions before they spring their trap. We have not been educated in the facts that Scammers are out there, trying to steal from us using love and emotion for their own purpose.

4. Use distraction methods to allow yourself to detach any of the emotional connections you may have developed towards the Scammer, as everything that they have told you was a pathological lie. It is difficult to break away from the trap, but it must be done. It will not be easy, as your dream has just turned into a nightmare. You must stop your communications with them immediately, so you are not being manipulated by their lies, as they try and break down your new defenses.

5. Block and Delete them from your contacts, email and messenger. Do not say another word to them. If they call, ignore the call and do not respond. Confronting them about your new knowledge will just risk causing them to get angry and these professional criminals that will try to and can fry your computer in a
second if you let them place a virus in your system. Place and update your Anti-Virus programs in you System, Report and get them banned from the site that they found you on.

6. Read and educate yourself on these scams and scammers, as there are many ways that they will try and get to you, in this case education is the best defense. Learn how to spot a scam and a scammer, How to recognize the red flags. Take steps that you can take to protect yourself, learn how to do a background check, Google Picture check and an IP Check. Never, Never, Never send money or transfer money through your bank account to anyone you have just met on the internet. Taking financial responsibility for a loved one only comes after you have a ring and a date (meaning you have personally met and know that they are real)

7. Develop a support network around you with family, friends or a support group such as: Let's Stop Facebook Romance Scammers, (Facebook) http://www.romancescams.org.

There are several sites on the internet that are very good and supportive with both educational and emotional support that can guide you through the recovery and rebuilding of your life.

8. Get Mad, not at yourself, but at the scammers (criminals) that stole you innocence and attempted to destroy your life, they are the predators and perpetrators of this crime not you. Learn to experiment with what works in your recovery, pick and choose from the experiences of others and use the best solutions that fit you.

9. Find a way to forgive yourself if you need to and look for positive things that you can do to frustrate these criminals by educating your friends, family and colleagues of these crimes.

10. Get involved in encouraging, guiding and educating others that have become ensnared in this scam, by explaining your story to let them know that they are not alone. This is one of the positive things that you can do to frustrate the scammers by educating others of their scams and also, helping yourself heal by helping others

Alwaysremember that you are in control and you hold the Power to Block, Delete, and Ignore their advances. You do not have to listen to them or entertain them in any way shape or form, as they are criminals that are trying to steal from you. The pathway to recovery is not a straight line but a winding path with many branches and some detours that you will have to navigate. Many have already taken this path before you and have left maps for you to follow, just chose the direction and pace that you need to go, do not worry if it is the right path as all will lead you to your goal if you take it a step at a time.

If you get lost or over whelmed just stop and take a big breath, letting the oxygen
into your head, then call out and you will find there many of us that have been
there before, and we will be there to guide, hold and /or comfort you as you get your bearings and take the next step.