Kind Ways to Tell Someone You’re Not Interested

Kind Ways to Tell Someone Youre Not Interested

Having to turn someone down is one of the most uncomfortable experiences that we may go through in the world of dating – online or off. People approach us (probably feeling very vulnerable) and express the way they feel; and we know – for whatever reason – that we're just not interested. Many of us are sensitive enough to not want to hurt anyone's feelings. Are there kind ways of telling people we're not interested? Rejection tends to hurt. We may not be able to spare their disappointment. But there are ways of showing people respect and consideration even as we tell them that we don't share their feelings.

Being honest is the best way to honor someone who is waiting on an answer. Many people make the mistake of sugar-coating their replies in the hopes that this will reduce the sting. But wavering will ultimately be unfair to both you and the other person. The truth gives people something constructive to work with, whereas fuzziness and/or half truths keep them confused – or worse, still hopeful. What's true of our physical bodies holds true for our emotions as well: Oftentimes, a clean break is the least painful.

Even though it can hurt, many people prefer it when the person they're interested in is direct. If our aim is to be kind then we don't want to instill someone with false hopes either. An intelligent person will see through most of the excuses that we might concoct. It's best to stand your ground. Understand, too, that sometimes there really is no clean way to reject someone. They exposed themselves when they asked you out; and now you're obliged to take a risk too by being honest and saying no.

Responses like, "I don't think it would work," or "I just don't think that we're compatible," can sound patronizing to many people. What they hear is I'm just not interested: So we may as well come right out and say that! It's a mistake to think that a more diluted version of the truth will hurt less or be more respectful. It's more respectful to show people that they're worth our honesty, even if it feels uncomfortable on both aides.

If a person does react negatively to your honesty then perhaps you should feel relieved that you didn't decide to give him or her "a chance" in the first place. Oftentimes, that underlying feeling that something is off should be trusted. Our instincts are telling us something. People who don't want to hear our truth initially will probably not be any more open to hearing it down to road. By being honest, you're not only giving the other person due respect, but also respecting yourself. It's always best to hold to your own truth. Ambiguity in matters of the heart just causes confusion and unnecessary pain. In trying to spare the other person, you end up hurting them more than you ever meant to by not being direct.

Comments (7)

No one likes to be rejected but it's better to get hurt sentimentaly awhile when hearing honest confession It means we appreciate the person's feelings by being honest

I used to say ' im not interest, wish you goodluck in here' :)
hmm I like say what if your not only one doing rejecting, My family and my parents are on that panel too so I have state I say applicants must apply forward but they must get rejected by my father and brother what do I say delete or rejected sorry, nothing personnel. dunno

The guy have meet up their standards of beneficial partner. I don't dish out abuse it what will happen when he meets the perfectionist I am not that person that person is hard to live in her shadow...but trying to ninja about without her knowing what I am up to is like oops... Which why I stick to Spiritualist and meditation when I am around such heavy cardinal and rightly so. Someone who adhere to someone of that nature needs another person on panel to tell me if that person is legit or might not help me get me out away first vacation.wave Not in foreign land I was thinking somewhere in state I haven't been too...I never crossed country before.

Drove a car would be another thing but I don't think that possible. comfort

Perfectionist already knows I am on dating sites and failed miserably on two others because those sites...made me think back one particular site that sucked this one I told her its free...and I getting through process it might actually work. I just hope it does.
WhyNotAgain4love
This is one of the best articles by staff that I have read. Thanks for it.

I really agree with everything written by this author. The best and appropriate way to deny a dating request is just to be honest, not any sugar-coating. Even not responding to the request is wrong. I always believe that any mail deserves a response. While one might not want to hurt one's feelings, any decent person ought to be honest in their response. For anyone to be offended or hurt by being turned down is absurd, it shows how negative the person is. You do not expect that a person will say yes to a dating request. It is a gamble, so expect the inevitable and be comfortable with it.
JezzieStone
Ouch! Rejection! Yea truth is the truth. No matter how you say it , it still comes to rejection. Some handle it well mmm some don't. But best is just,,, truth. head banger
Bajangal
I usually write: "Thank you for your mail, but I'm not interested in further contact and wish you good luck in your search". To which the person often replies: "Thank you for taking the time to answer and good luck to you as well." Win, win, both ways ??
MatoaTree
Yes!!! Absolutelly should be like that. Be honest even it hurts but very clear at the endwink
Fayecat
Excellent article !Nice said-" By being honest, you're not only giving the other person due respect, but also respecting yourself." It is to show someone you are a mature minded individual, emotionally and mentally.
Tsubie52: "Do you Vape?"(meet us in the forums)

Would YOU like to publish an article on Connecting Singles?

Would YOU like to publish an article on Connecting Singles? Are you an expert at something, have an interesting story, or a good lesson to teach... why not share with other members. If you have experience or expertise in a topic that will be of interest to CS members, you may submit an article to be published on the site.
Post your own Article »

 
We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here