5 Things You Should NOT Do, If You’re NOT Married
The line between dating and marriage has become very thin in recent years. Many people treat them the same when they shouldn't. There are certain things that come with the benefit of marriage and shouldn't be done when just dating. Here are 5 things you should not do if you're not married.
1. Quit your job
It doesn't matter how long you've been dating, you should not quit your job if you're not married. Once you're in a commitment like marriage, that is a choice that you'll make as a couple, but before you're married you should insist on keeping your job. You have to continue making and saving your own money because you never know what will happen in the future. You two could break up in two weeks or in two years and you don't want to be left with nothing because you depended on him.
2. Serve him home cooked meals every day
Women will argue that even when married this is not a task you should be doing, but that's a personal choice. When you're not married, it's something you should definitely not be doing. Since you're still working you will have little time to cook up dinner yourself every day. Some days he's going to have to do it. This should be non-negotiable. You are working just as he is, so being expected to serve him home-cooked meals daily is out of the question.
3. Get joint bank accounts
Do not give up your bank account for someone you are just dating. It doesn't matter if you've been together for 10 years; if you're not married, you're still dating. Marriage is a commitment that gives you some benefits you don't get when you're dating. One of those is joint bank accounts. While you're dating you should continue to hold onto your own accounts and don't allow anyone else access to them. If you need to set up a new bank account together to pay bills from, you can do that.
4. Make his family your priority
When you're dating a man for a few years you can become quite close with his family. This is a great thing, but when you're not married there are certain things you should avoid. Remember that his family isn't automatically your family. You shouldn't put his family ahead of your family for birthday, holidays, or general get-togethers. If your boyfriend can't compromise and make time for your family as well, you have to do it yourself. It's also a bad idea to begin acting like the wife in regards to buying gifts for his family and setting up all social events. Your boyfriend is totally capable of doing these things. If he doesn't want to, that's his choice. It's not a job he can saddle you with. If he wants to make you part of the family, he will.
5. Make large joint purchases
Don't even consider buying a car, house, or bedroom set with your beloved boyfriend. Major joint purchases should be saved for when you're married. Making large purchases with someone you're only dating is very risky. You don't know how the relationship will end up and making such a huge purchase will become a complication if the relationship ends. If you think it's not a big deal, just watch a couple of judge shows on TV. Many of the cases revolve around couples who were not married, but decided to buy a house or dining room set together. If you want to buy something, buy it yourself.
Dating someone, even if it's for 5 years, is not the same as being married. When you begin to do things that you would only do if you were married, getting married for real might start to seem like a distant dream.
Comments (4)
Try it then, when you marry. The marriage itself is a mistake. It always was and always will. Why dont you talk to (not one but several-because many are incompetent or corrupted like everybody else is!!) as i was saying.
TALK TO SEVERAL DIFFERENT DIVORCE LAWYERS.
And if you STILL want to marry after THAT, go ahead and do it. Good Luck. Because you're going to need it.
In the end it all wound up in her favor because she had that princess knows best attitude and expect about things overall...had no idea that she was a secret drunk and then was scrutinized and back stabbed and treated quite unprofessionally by her neighbors whom she was very friendly with as well as drinking partners with and were biased in their reaction to us being internet daters. I escorted her all over the place including overseas and in the end was kicked to the curb in favor of a stranger she met and married because he had a place by the lake which she did also and then inadvertently also discovered he was/is a mega-multiply convicted drunk. She told her friend she grew up with that confided in me she and her husband disliked because of his attitude and demeanor when answering her phone and overall acted like they should know him well even though they only spoke once previous and then were expected to accept and know his name like it was old hat! She then convinced her family he was successful by lying to them about him and to this day I have no doubts she still drinks Rum like a fish.
I left her broken hearted and abused because I refuse to stay where I am mistreated and unloved...she couldn't even be nice to me a s friend in the end and burned all my Art and dispensed of anything that implied me but yet kept all the things around of her ex husband including some of his ashes and previous possessions because it was he whom helped project and propel her to where she is now financially. I helped her also because I made her look good by stopping by her work with flowers and cards of appreciation and even her dogs so she could come out and hug them and talk to her friends at work about them. I paid all the utilities and always did as she asked and respected her greatly including Thanking her for everything she had ever made me food or purchase wise which I explained she did not need to do to please me because SHE was my living pleasure including the intimacy...she would flail her arms and legs in bed and snore like a chainsaw but our relationship went south she started to make unrealistic demands of me and treat me like some fool or worse...I asked her why she wouldn't marry me and both times got the response of;"I can't" which when asked why she simply refused to address...I wanted to walk out on her but kept up the charade hoping to get her to agree to counseling noticing her drinking was rather excessive and nightly until one day she decided to boot me out rather than be honest and work with me on and over it all. I see now she is stuck in a nasty relationship she is fearful of ending because he was her "Bad boy" which she told her friend she secretly always wanted! Imagine the grief in my heart when she became as cold and calloused as marrying a total stranger and not telling me until it was too late and not being willing to work things out as friends when I moved into my own apartment as asked? I almost died from it.
Unfortunately, there are some real narcistic, supressing men out there and they prey on women with low self esteem and that are totally unsuspecting (especially if they have not encountered the type and can identify the early warning signs) - in order to not lose this man, they will do basically anything and everything for him. Off course these types of men dangle the "maybe one day I will marry you" carrot of whatever promises they pick up on that the lady might desire.
Please ladies, be vigilant and stand on your rights - if he wants to break it off, let him go. You will be doing yourself a favour at the end of the day!
Be proud, be strong and keep your self-worth