Don’t be a passion-killer: Avoid the common dating mistakes men make

It doesn't matter whether you've been on two dates or two hundred, if your dating technique isn't up to scratch, the perfect woman will keep on slipping through your fingers. You simply cannot rely on dating as many women as possible and hoping that one woman will connect with you. The law of averages rarely applies to dating. Just like any subject, successful dating is a skill that can be learned. It's time to be self-critical and break bad habits. Here are some to help make your next date one to remember.

Don't think too much

Tasks are often marred by over-thinking them. When learning a new language, you have to let your words flow and not think about every single syllable that comes out of your mouth. The language of love is no different. Stop playing out scenarios in your head according to how you think she'll react. 'If I ask her if she wants another drink, will she think I'm trying to get her drunk?' 'If I talk about my achievements, will she think I'm egotistical?' If you plan out every single sentence to avoid anticipated offence, you'll lack spontaneity and exude nothing more than dullness. Trust yourself and let the conversation take its natural course.

Plan how you'll fill awkward silences

You go on dates to get to know one another. You have very little information before meeting a woman, so it's only natural that there will be some silences between conversation topics. Although this is completely natural given the amount of time you've known each other, it can feel awkward. Don't resort to speaking about the subject you know the most about: yourself. She will only think that you're not interested in what she's got to say and that there isn't room in your life for anyone other than yourself. When there's a silence, ask her an open question instead. For example, 'What made you want to do your chosen career?' or, 'How do you like to spend your weekends?' Keep it light so it doesn't appear that you're interrogating her. She will appreciate the opportunity to get the conversation going again and if she's a good date, she'll reciprocate and ask you questions in return.

You look like you don't care

Appearing nonchalant is very off-putting. This applies to both physical appearance and body language. The women you date will probably have spent time on looking their best, and it's only right that you do the same. Unless you're on an active date, wear a shirt and make sure it's pressed. Make sure that your shoes are polished and in respectable condition. Your hairstyle and facial hair is up to you, but you have to be clean and fresh-smelling with a dazzling smile. Don't fold your arms or lean back in your chair. Make sure that your body is positioned slightly forward and that you make eye contact with your date. It lets her know that you're interested in her and that you care about what she has to say.

Watch your manners

Although attitudes towards the sexes have changed over the years, being polite is universal. Pull her chair out for her, don't start eating until she does, swallow your food before talking, and don't get drunk. The rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't do it in front of your boss, don't do it in front of her. She wants a man who will respect her and ill-manners are a sure-fire way to be dismissed as another impolite loser.

Listen to her

The art of listening is a skill that is lost on many people. Asking questions is a good start, but if you fail to respond appropriately, they can feel like empty words. A common mistake is to ask your date a question, allow her to answer and then respond with own experiences. For example, 'Where did you go on vacation this year?' 'I went to Mexico.' 'I went there in 2010. I went scuba-diving...' Your date will only feel that your questions are a set-up for your own responses and that you're disingenuous. Listen to her responses and let her talk about her experiences. Respond with enquiry and not your own stories.

To make future dates a success, you have to criticise your technique. Try these tips out and that elusive great date may happen sooner than you think.