6 Things to Do Before You Ask for Commitment

Whether you're just starting off in a relationship or you're ready to suggest taking it to the next level, discussions about commitment can cause many people to get cold feet. In some cases, even the strongest unions break apart because one person shared his or her feelings.

To avoid scaring the other person off, it's important to approach commitment when both sides are ready. You could rely on instinct, but it's better to broach the subject at the best possible time. Fortunately, there are several signs to help you know when the time is right.

1. Examine Your Own Feelings

In other words, why do you want to do this now? Think about your reason for wanting to take your relationship to the next level. If you just got out of a long-term commitment, make sure you're not falling victim to rebound syndrome. If you spent a long time as a single person, take a long hard look at your feelings. Jumping into a serious commitment isn't a good idea if you're doing it because you're tired of being lonely.

2. Know Your Audience

If you've been with someone for a long time, you probably have a good handle on his or her willingness to commit. Personality plays a big role in how people handle relationships. Additionally, look at your partner's lifestyle. If you're with someone who's in the process of establishing a serious career, now might not be the best time to suggest moving in together.

3. Be Patient

Sometimes, it's best to let the other person make the first move. Although it might sound childish, like you're waiting for someone to ask you to a middle school dance, waiting can pay off.

4. Manage Your Expectations

If you're ready to ask your partner to get an apartment together, don't start planning your dream wedding and picking out baby names. Instead, take things step by step. Don't treat your commitment conversation like a Band-Aid. In other words, doing everything all at once might overwhelm the other person.

5. Keep It Simple

Although your cheeks might be flushed with the blush of new love, keep your discussion low-key. Renting out an entire restaurant to tell your girlfriend the depth of your feelings might creep her out rather than jump into your arms. Instead of staging a big production, be spontaneous. Sometimes, an impromptu statement like "Hey, I like you a lot" goes a long way.

6. Listen to Your Head, Not Your Heart

In romance, the heart can sometimes overrule the head. Unfortunately, this can have a disastrous effect. When it's over the top, impulsive expressions of emotion can come across as desperation. Before you shout your love from the rooftops, pause to think it through. Although you don't necessarily need to approach your relationship as a business transaction, allowing your mind to rule the situation can save you a lot of heartache.

By waiting for the right opportunity and taking time to create a plan, you can take your relationship to a higher level of commitment. With a little bit of preparation and the right approach, your conversation will go off without a hitch.