Why are scammers the most polite and complimentary?

As someone who is unfamiliar with receiving messages from 'scammers' on dating websites, I quickly read and learned how to spot a likely scammer. The saddest part is, the 'scammers' are much more complimentary and emotionally outgoing than the average man.

I have been told by apparent scammers that I am 'the paragon of beauty', 'most beautiful girl' and 'I am in love with you, I am'. The majority of my flowerbox bouquets have been from apparent 'scammers'.

Why are other men not so willing to express themselves? Hmm.. I'll take honest expression and chivalry anyday! Perhaps there is something for the average man to learn here from these other men.

Oh, sure, they want something from you, but at least those labeled 'scammers' express themselves openly.. ha. What happened to manners, men? Holding doors and taking care of a woman because you WANT to, not because you want something in return?

Consider this: There is nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of and caring for someone in return. If you do not wish to do this, why are you on a dating site?

Most men, upon hearing that a woman wants security, thinks 'golddigger'. As someone who was raised in an upper-middle-class family, my cousins married a doctor and a lawyer respectively, AFTER the women had built up their own career with good salaries and even bought their own home at age 24-25! Many polls have shown that a wealthy, successful man wants to marry a woman who has her own career and money.

Supporting your wife and 'letting' her stay at home and be a homemaker is done out of genuine love sometimes, you know. They line the streets of the neighborhoods I was raised in.

Just food for thought. Many men who are willing to do this, and wish to be cared for in return, are often happily married right now.

Comments (34)

FantasyArtMan
I just want to say that all nice, polite and complimentary guys aren't "scammers"! I have no real experience with any "scamming" on this or any other site, beyond the relatively obvious "working girls". So I have no idea what others are experiencing, but some nice people are just that, and I hate to see a whole genre of personalities lumped in with the dregs of the society! I hope the whole world doesn't turn into a sea of jaded mistrust and suspicion, but I understand the effects of a con. Hopefully we can keep a sliver of trust in our hearts that SOME things are just as they seem, and not every person or event is filled with a conspiracy of hate and fear.
SimplyAsia1215
Thank you for this Article. It was very helpful.
Jhergeorgeatchi
Yes, it's BS with the scammers on this website. I got pulled in by 2 ladies and of course they were willing to give me love and affection compassion romantic which I like. But all they wanted to talk about after that was they wanted money money money money. I don't mind sharing equally but crap that's all they were interested in was money. I'm not rich but not poor. Money really shouldn't be that important if a person is in love. I'm descusted how now a days that's a person's firs thing to talk about.
xtraspecman
Seems to me, this site is a store front for scammers. I receive likes and messages from at least 3 a day. Mostly beautiful woman that are clearly out of my league and my territory, easy enough to ignore. The latest was local "love1woman", been messaging for about a week, now claims she wants me to send gas money so she can drive an hour to meet me. lol
R_U_the_1_4_me
I love scamming the scammers, I save all their Email addresses, then go to Craigslist and repeatedly send them a lousy sex ad to their Email, and tag it from their email, (It will say send this ad to a friend) I've done this a about hundred times to some scammers, especially when they tried scamming me from their cellphone! I do this to the scammers that I find in my e mail as well as from these dating sites. Some dating sites do remove the scammers right away.

laugh
AmynFriend81
The title of this thread seems to be an ASSUMPTION and not on track with the Toltec agreemens (if you want to live in peace) that I remind:

Be Impeccable With Your Word. <=========================
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Don't Make Assumptions. <===========================
Always Do Your Best.


Better use the tips in my previous comment to guess if your interlocutor is very probably a scammer.

If you want to judge/think he is a scammer because he is very polite and complimentary then it is up to you.

regards,
AmynFriend81
Dear all,

Other tips to guess scammers in order to report/block them:

They are very lazy in general:

They copy/paste an existing Description somewhere in the WEB (Long in general) so if you google their profile description you ll find very probably that the person is flagged as a scammer or some other indications can help you state that.

If the scammer gives his Skype ID and pretend to be in a country like the US or in europe etc.. you can google a website called "Skype Resolver" who gives you the country of last connexion of the skype id ;)

You can google their Photo using the menu image of , to see if the image do not belong to someone in Facebook or to a public person somewhere in the world.

If the decription say the weight is 40 kg (88 pounds) and the picture show the inverse then it's a scam...same for color hair etc..

Above were my advices, and below are the ones from the FBI:

Recognizing an Online Dating Scam Artist

Your online “date” may only be interested in your money if he or she:

Presses you to leave the dating website you met through and to communicate using personal e-mail or instant messaging;

Professes instant feelings of love;

Sends you a photograph of himself or herself that looks like something from a glamour magazine;

Claims to be from the U.S. and is traveling or working overseas;

Makes plans to visit you but is then unable to do so because of a tragic event; or

Asks for money for a variety of reasons (travel, medical emergencies, hotel bills, hospitals bills for child or other relative, visas or other official documents, losses from a financial setback or crime victimization).



Be Safe,
Sunfun1
Having quite a bit of knowledge in cyber security, here are some indicators to look for: only one photo or multi photos that don't match stated things in profiles. ie elegant pictures with low income or pictures that don't appear to match age. Excessive income for job or geographic area, immediately providing or asking for phone numbers or email address. Poor grammer and / or spelling for stated geographic or education level. Not responding to the things you talk about in your sent messages. Seeming over eager to say they like you or want marriage. Be safe out there :)
1rubberducky
I have seen both sides...being a guy and hanging with CO workers and friends...I realize guys are insensitive to the way women think...guys are logical...in your face bold...women are sensitive,nurturers ...they are trained from a young age to believe in fairy tales...Cinderella,Prince charming,...2.1 kids..white picket fence and happily ever after
I guess it's what a person individually is willing to accept as a moral compass...if you are looking in the mirror and you do the opposite of what you want...then you get what you open yourself to.
I tend to agree with the commentary... Scammers have a agenda to part you from your money..lets face it...easiest way to do it is through flattery...if it smells like a fish it likely is...use common sense...when it comes to choosing someone...matters of the heart can wait until they prove themselves trustworthy....my humble opinion...for what it's worth...scott
DeafPower
That's you one who are fake !!!
Demi7
doh Real men do not tel you sweet bull all the time. So if u need that you have a problem. How can a man make u a compiment if he doesn`t know you. If you need a guy telling you how beautiful u re and blah blah blah you have a problem not the men. Only men that only ant money or into your pants would act like that.
real Men tell you the truth , mean men tell you what u want to hear . doh you have to be very naiv to think if a guy stars telling u all those sweet words and he never ever met you and spend time with u in person that this guy is worth a dime! Those are the first I block!rolling on the floor laughing
spaciegrace
I love this. Its so true. Scammers are so romantic. And I'm also rmantic so they fall for me too. But no one gets hurt at the end. hug
kastromount
only in few words. The scammers are very polite and complinetary, because they want to cover whatever they have in the back of their mind. Although they are intelligent with good experience, it is very easy to uncover them, by "accepting" what they say and asking them questions like, if you were a district attorney, i.e. to make them to believe you that you are willing to do what they really want you to do. Then you learn everything from them. Have you ever thought that lady professor couldever be a scammer? was found by me that a gorgeous and very polite lady professor was a scammer? Incredible but true. I dialled the phone number of the University, that I found on the Internet. Then, I called the local police.
Thazager
Just looking through some of the pictures on web search -> "romance scammer pictures", I saw some of those pics on here in new members and photo gallery.
Thazager
I am kind of familiar with scammers, as 15 have tried to get money from me in 1 way or another. I like to believe many people are honest and give most people a chance, until that 1 email that actually asks for the money.

The least amount asked for has $200, back in 2006(I think). The highest amount was $9000. Many claim to live in America on their profile, then after a few emails you learn they are not really here. I have had mostly diff types of attempts on me, though some did try the same thing that another already tried.

The quick ones will ask for money, telling you something happened right away. One was visiting a country selling her goods there and got kidnapped, and told to get so much for her release. The slow ones will create a long lasting type of relationship and then ask for help in getting over to America.

One asked me to help send money to her friend, but he lived in a country that doesn't have wire transfers, so she wanted to send the money to my back account. Another didn't speak English and needed to use a translator which costs so much per email. After 5 months she disappeared.

The biggest one (I kind of remember) was a dating site, that cost a huge amount $150 for a month or two. They matched you up with someone that was compatible (so they thought). That person took a week to reply to anything they sent her. She never posted a picture with the site, so when we exchanged pics after 2 weeks, I got nothing. After about 4 to 5 weeks they sent a list of "must have/cant stand". When I filled it out for the exchange, she quit, and I lost anytime I had. Scam by the web site.

After the first few, I asked on the forums, and someone sent a link filled with thousands of pictures of "Known" scammers. I matched each picture I had on that site, and saw them all on there. This is just 1 of many such sites

As I was on about 2-3 diff dating sites back early 2000's I told all of those sites about the scamming, and started joining more sites and letting them know also. Eventually some of them started letting their customers know too, though some did not.
Ken_19
As someone who gets maybe 5 - 10 scam emails a week, we can do better in spotting the fakes. Let's see..,

Every 4th or 6th word has a random capital letter. Red Flag

The words GOD LOVE not only appear over and over, but often in capitals too. Red Flag

The flowers they sent say, I love your profile tell me more. Red Flag (esp when the profile says, am not looking).

You have no picture posted but the email they sent says I love your picture. Red Flag

You have never heard of them before, but the very first email from them contains a yahoo or gmail or cell phone address you should contact them at right away. Red Flag

You google the good looking photo in their profile and it comes back to an Internet porn star or a Bollywood Actor. Red Flag

You take a random 30 character string from the text of their last email to you and google it. You find 300 other folk who have received identical word for word matches to all of the emails the person sent you on a Romance Scams website. Red Flag

You google the area code of the cell phone of this new person living only 3 states away from you, but it comes back as being an area code used in Antigua or Kosovo. Red Flag

Since you stupidly gave them your name, phone number and mailing address with just a few emails, they send you a certified check for $400,000 and ask you to send them only $2,000 back by Western Union right away but tell you to please invest the rest for them and by the way, you can keep $20,000 as a fee. Red Flag <The check is fake. It will bounce in a month or two and then you will owe whatever you spent, plus whatever the bank or the local court charges you.>

Her credit card just got wiped by the X Ray scanner at the airport and the hotel won't let her spend the night without a valid credit card. Please, please, tell her your credit card number, experation date and the CVS Code. She will pay you cash when she arrives. Red Flag

BTW, he owns a small company and has been buying some equipment for his company, but needs an Agent in your country to handle the shipping details. Would you consider working for him part time as his trusted agent, receiving packages in your home, then re-shipping them to addresses he supplies you? Red Flag
The packages were brought with stolen credit card numbers online, shipped to you and now you are transiting the stolen goods in both intra and and inter state commerce. Good luck in court.

By the second or third letter the word LOVE starts appearing and the greeting has changed from Hi Jane to Dearest Beloved Soul Mate Of My Heart. Red Flag

The phrase 'soul mate' appears 3 or more times in their profile. Red Flag

My personal favorite: according to her profile, she is 22 years old, has kids who are grown and have left the nest, she is 6'9" tall, has completed her Doctorate Degree and works as a surgeon. Red Flag




bouquet
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TKay4u
I have learned to spot a scammer pretty easily. It's not the fact that they tell you how beautiful you are and that you are the one for them. It's that they say it in the first email. They also do have poor grammar. The worst one is using a small i when it should be capitalized. Everyone hits the keys wrong at times but if the majority of the i's are small then I don't even mess with them. Last year I had a real smooth talker who chatted on a site for a couple of months with me and was supposedly in the Army in Iraq and after I felt really comfortable with him. He said he would be coming back for a few weeks and would love to meet me in person and I agreed. Next thing you know he says his money in America is tied up and he can't get to it till he gets here. So if I would just Western Union him $1,000 then when he gets here he will pay me back with interest. I said not possible so he gets another guy to pose as his Army buddy and he messages me and says he will give him $500 if I could just send him the other $500 cause his buddy really liked me a lot and was so happy he might meet me. I cut him off clean. I got hurt a little over that one so I am very careful. I don't like the ones that are to far off and then tell me they will relocate for the right woman either.
kissypo0
so very very true
datwasntme
well i still open doors when i can (auto open doors kinda killed that) i still say please , ty , mamm , sir, etc etc etc (was sothern raised)
and yes i was taken out as well by a scammer .not going in to the total of $2,000 lol.. thing i learned is you never know who is on the other side
last dating sight i was on i spent 40 $ for a month sub
in the week and 1/2 i have been on the sight i still have yet to talk to a lady from the states ... they all say they are from the states (on there profiles)but out of the all most 100 i have talked to none have been ... first thing i have been asking is are you from the states , i either get no responce or get told where they are at (or at least where they say where they are from).. now out of that all most 100 , i have really only talked in depth with 2 , both after a short time wanted money and set me with a guilt trip for not sending it ...

thing to keep in mind i can post a pick of santa clause , that don't mean it's me

Skype has helped a lot cause you can at least see them but still don't really tell you where or who they are

best advice , never ever ever send money

any who
Happy Hunting
after thought , it's not the money lost that bothers me , i can all ways make more ,it's the broken promises
<put's dunce cap back on and walks back to my corner>
Brosch
Ha-ha-ha! Splendid! May I give an answer to both sides.
Of coarse the scammers are very polite, chivalry and attractive in words, dear friends. That is their profession and their special field of earning good income. Even - quite good sometimes!
I really enjoy flirting from time to time but that's all!
Real men and real women have other qualities and ways of expressing themselves.Life has changed and we don't live in the old
romantic times. Or let me say it in other words: the romance has changed as well and it doesn't smell pink!
GermanPeterPan
Excuse me, are you all going nuts here??? frustrated How can you post such a silly comment??



1) If women FALL for some cheaters just because they flirt better, something is wrong with the WOMEN. Perhaps they are not out of puberty yet, even aged 60.

2) And what does dishonest complimenting have to do with "willing to express themselves"??

3) True, its easy to fool any woman, just, for instance, by saying she is soooo pretty. cheering
sending her flowers etc. etc. and making false promises till death parts them....barf

The woman who falls for such illusions should ask herself: "What do i mean by posting here, in my own profile: 'only honest guys please!' 'any liar please forget about me' 'scammers have no chance' etc. etc.

4) The article is discriminating of men! Written in a way as if there were no female scammers. The percentage of women who display an old photograph here, or make false statements, simply because they are tired of working, hence looking for a financial supporter is over 65%. This, too, is a kind of scamming. Of course women never admit their need for an easy life. They call it 'supporting the wife.'

5) How can the writer of this absurd post speak of "manners" just because men still have an ethic code they adhere to, rather than bullshitting around? doh

6) And there are those who, aged 65, write in their profile 'Looking for Mr. Right' - putting a picture they found ages ago. This shows that women are the dreamers. In fact, 90% here are looking for benefits and advantages of any sort. . . seeking a GIVER. Its a world of TAKE AS MUCH YOU CAN, rather than GIVING.

7) "Many polls have shown (???) that wealthy men want women who have their own career and money...". Well, you can bet any amount, they won't look for a partner here.
bestlove714
p.s that screen has been deleted...loldancing
bestlove714
OK here I go. I was at one time for a long time. Trying to find women on the Internet. But as sad as that is. I'm still looking over the internet for real women. LOL.....

So i starting learning a lot about dating sites. And the women on there....yes they might look very cute and hot. And you might be thinking that you could try to hook up with them. Hopen That you might make a friend. Just wishing that someone was there to talk you.

But only come to find out. That the person you're talking to. needs you to go to there web site. just so you can see them on the Internet or in case my just to say what's up to locals ladies around me!! And when you go there! you need to "verify your age" in which means..to give your credit card number before you make your profile...In which case, i have done in cases! Thats sad I know. But its only trying to say that your going to be charged $1.95 per day..what a lie..if your account goes on past those day's. You will be charged with their premium member charge. One site that you can not DELETE your profile on, is xxxcupid.com. they will fry your credit card, and you can't do anything about it!!!

So long story short!!!I started to learn how to scam those web sites back and started to become the scammer... So i thought!for example..when filling in the part that says describe your self....I got to this point.....

Since your a cougar,and your looking for something better than what your getting. then headline says it. But Ladies, no bbw's, no trans, no men, only cute, sexy,and fun outgoing ladies. If your in my range, AGE WISE mid 20's---to---40, with in 714, then let's not waste time here.my headline.....+ my nick name oneshoehb but there's a funny story. about that name ) so/if/you like me then you just "gnail" the straps to your bed post on your bed. ......

And i would change out somethings like cougar or milf ext....But it didn't even matter. Because the scammer know's what i meant, and will send you their email address. On the title of your letter. Because you can not see their letters to you unless you give them your credit card number.. So you can get scammed again via another hookup site...only to find out that is the same bs as the one you sign up for!!!

I've been going through this nonsense 99% of the online dating scene..And all i wanted was to say hello to someone in area, that was willing to say hey back and chat..and talk about life or just try to get to know someone out there, "aka" in my county/state that would like to go out and enjoy each other's presents. And maybe if there would be spark's between us....But that never would happen unless i gave them my credit card...

Soooo! I'm glad to have finally found a site that is free..and is not going to try to get my c-card. Where i can see people's profiles,IM people, send a message,video chat "NOT NAKED". Where i can just be me. and not to try to become someone else, like an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend that was good in the beginning of a relationship, But turned out to be not right....

So ladies if i send you a flower? That means i'm curious about you and would love to talk to..Dosent mean i'm a scammer, or a creep,I'm just like a little boy, Trying to show off in front of hes friends to get your attention because i think your cute, and would like to talk to you!!! So ladies prove me wrong and show me that there is real love somewhere out there for me..

Thank You, bestlove714
bishamel
why are there so many of them.A person don't know who to trust anymore
Kiribatisurfer
I too have met some scammers weeks ago, they contacted me in my gmail, and I wonder how on earth they know my gmail! confused
She said she was in the army, peace keeping forces, and that she had that and that and she really need my help. Wow, how on earth she could pour out her heart to me, whe I haven't met or anything nearer to that!confused
So I am so lucky to come across this site where you're very well look after by being informed of those scammersdevil, and all services are provided in a way that you know where you are going and what's being going on around youapplause.
So I like to thank all the administrators here to keep up the good work, and WEED OUT the scammers from this BEAUTIFUL site.heart wings cswelcome thanks
BeckyABailey
I have come into contact with 3 different scamers in the past 2 months all said they have fallen in love with me and wanted to marry me. They all worked out of the country and have something major happen there and need money really quick and they cannot get money out of their bank in the states and if I love them I would help them by sending them money or letting someone put money in my account and give them my bank account number, password and routing number....how big an idiot do they think I am....and I hate to think there are women out there that are that desperate for love that they will send them the money...
And yes they do use poor english and broken words. Just tell yhem you will never send the money and they get really angry quick and unfriend you....
liketoworkhard
In thinking in a more humorus light about the profeesional connman or con persons as I never liked con man its to much oh,..... yiu know....ah like ...... well Ironman or raiman or superman so I bieng a kid of the 70's prefferred the connster or scammster kind of like scum and hamster.I am really liking now though swindiler as its like swine and himler.

So I think scammer is to polite and politicaly correct for an actor on a very crooked stage who is not out to be your entertainment but you being thier puppet. They pull your strings, both your purse strings and heartstings.
I dont know now whether to shoot my selfy (if I hear that 1 time) or my selfie hahahahahaha
liketoworkhard
I am slighlty shocked you can be this naieve.Sammers are liars plain and simple with1 goal to get you to send something of value to them a phone, cam, computer ect
I am very polite coplimentery and kinf and romantic and live in the US hahahaha Your mother and father teaches you to be respectful, kind and you learn to be romantic when you want to please certain not all women but even more so when you really care for them.
Do you think a scammer would get far being rude, disrespectful or arrogant in the least? would you buy a car from that person?
Watch what happens to a scammers temperment once you catch them and confront them, I have had supposed god fearing women 1 minete condemming me and my kids to burn in hell that instant, very true story.
Don"t let thies false sense of genuine care and profeesed love for you after 2 hours of chatting fool you.They prey on innocent people and look for those most vulnerable to thier practiced sililoqys.I bet some have a manual to go by in Gahna.
Unfortunately I bieleve also as it is how I feel when you persue a woman with any gile or guesto you feel you may be borderline stalking her in this day and age.
Oh 1 last thing ever see a plain ordinary person or overweight or unintellidgeable girl or man be a scammer? Is that all part of the scammers plan and have you everheard of a cult or group leader who wasnt charamasitic.
I take much offense as very sweet kind and sincere American to be compared to a fxxxxn scammer.
Brian
Alexandro10
I'm thinking are these Articles from cs staff !!!!cause unestky is not the first Article that stunts me !!!

if a man tells you, you are beautiful on internet, does that make him a scammer?!!. For me it makes him a scammer if he says contact me @ this number.......
If somebody is polite by saying hi ,how are you ? does that make him a scammer?!! It makes him a a scammer if he says he lives somewhere and actually lives somewhere else...

ecc.........

The other Article that I came across here..is..

Does voice matter on Dating? I mean are we kidding??!!!!!!

( Alexandro )
Alexandro10
Scammer is when you meet ,you are after something else then actually wanted to MEET the person.....and that's one example. The worse.

thumbs up
Alexandro10
Polite and complimentary does not mean you are a scammer .Pllllllssssssssssss.confused confused confused confused confused
SunshineWV
No truers words have been said. I wonder if maybe thats why divorce rate is so high.
PrettyPrescious
Unfortunately, American men are sadly lacking in the romancing department. They do not know how to make a woman feel beautiful and wanted. The men are very laid back about the pursuit, and have a very short attention span on the dating field as well. Foreign men are very intense, and a woman will feel very special. This is how women want to feel, irregardless of feminism.dance

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