Why are scammers the most polite and complimentary?

As someone who is unfamiliar with receiving messages from 'scammers' on dating websites, I quickly read and learned how to spot a likely scammer. The saddest part is, the 'scammers' are much more complimentary and emotionally outgoing than the average man.

I have been told by apparent scammers that I am 'the paragon of beauty', 'most beautiful girl' and 'I am in love with you, I am'. The majority of my flowerbox bouquets have been from apparent 'scammers'.

Why are other men not so willing to express themselves? Hmm.. I'll take honest expression and chivalry anyday! Perhaps there is something for the average man to learn here from these other men.

Oh, sure, they want something from you, but at least those labeled 'scammers' express themselves openly.. ha. What happened to manners, men? Holding doors and taking care of a woman because you WANT to, not because you want something in return?

Consider this: There is nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of and caring for someone in return. If you do not wish to do this, why are you on a dating site?

Most men, upon hearing that a woman wants security, thinks 'golddigger'. As someone who was raised in an upper-middle-class family, my cousins married a doctor and a lawyer respectively, AFTER the women had built up their own career with good salaries and even bought their own home at age 24-25! Many polls have shown that a wealthy, successful man wants to marry a woman who has her own career and money.

Supporting your wife and 'letting' her stay at home and be a homemaker is done out of genuine love sometimes, you know. They line the streets of the neighborhoods I was raised in.

Just food for thought. Many men who are willing to do this, and wish to be cared for in return, are often happily married right now.

Comments (60)

Dani_290
Why would they be rude? if their only aim is to manipulate your feelings and milk you as a cow.laugh
plynne
I have talked to many scammers. They use a script most of the time. They are only lying to us and could care less about us. All they want is your information so they can get your money, and all the stuff you send them, pics go into another profile they will use to scam someone else with. Always red flags-working on the ocean, private investigator, seem to be the jobs of choice. Widowed with a child being schooled somewhere else. Not sounding American in text, and using two first names.
Wrinkleylove
nenew,

seems to me your perfect soul mate is a scammer.
You should run with it. Obviously men who are not scammers fail to rise to your expectations. If someone likes blond hair only, why date a red head and force them to dye their hair blond?
Also, do you treat 'scammers' differently or 'other men' who all day long get told to treat females as independent and equal or face the full consequences of the legal system?
You want them to take care of you. Is that until you decide you no longer want them to take care of you?

Consider this, a scammer never says goodbye on the relationship. A scammer never says a harsh word in reply. A scammer always acts as it you are number one, and he is number two.

nenew, sounds to me like your perfect match. You should always run with your strengths. W.
Ken_19
Because more flies are caught with honey than with a plate of vinegar. Silly question. laugh
Ken_19
Because more flies are caught with honey than with a plate of vinegar. Silly question. laugh
Ken_19
Because it has been proven one can catch more flies with a plate of honey than one can with a plate of vinegar. Silly question. banana laugh
Karasreturns
I know they are scammers... when they only have one picture or want to talk to you on whatsapp or skpe. (crying) I feel like they try to scam me because I'm near 40 and single and alone (crying)... I do have feeling and have to say to you scammers... SHAME ON YOU!!!!! SMH!
Letstalkitover
The internet is to blame for people not making the effort to impress the other.

One can lay in PJ and write, then turn off the machine and talk to another the next day.
Kadal82
There are good and bad peoples all around world. This site is no exception. Everyone comes here with different goals. Its tough to find right person but not impossible.
Leibherr580
Because my dear . if there not polite and complimentary . they know . there going to get BUGGER ALL OF YOU frustrated frustrated frustrated head banger head banger
ElfKing1982
I actually came across one scammer earlier. The account stated she was 86, but the photo looked much younger. I do agree, alot of scammers have atrocious grammar.
ElfKing1982
I don't usually get messages from scammers, but I come on here and look for them so I can report them. There are a lot of nice people here, and I do not want to see you being taken advantage of.
1_SPCTR
Garnet, I have to agree with your photo comment, I see the same picture(s) on their profiles that's been there for the last 10/15 years, with no changes,
Wonder if the scammers think people don't notice ' WE DO NOTICE '
One person can have about 40 profiles, you block one then they try to contact you with another profile, the pattern is easy to notice....
ralsoeb
I notice most of the people posting in this thread , are using scammer grammar.

But that aside, lets answer your question.

A scammer is someone who says what they think you want to hear to give them what they want.
They are NOT open with their emotions (it is all a lie to get your money/bank account info)
They are NOT honest with you (they simply say what normally gets them your money/bank account info)
They are NOT complimentary in what they say (It is simply what normally gets them your money/bank account info).

Do you see the pattern yet?

And as a man who is health, wealthy (made my own money thank you very much) in good shape, and a lot of fun to be around... and not even 40 yet... I have found expressing my emotions like this does not get me a happy married life but instead emotionally traumatized/stunted proto chicks who want a live in butler/walking atm. (at least in the USA, I will probably go back to Europe to get some real women as non seem to exist state side anymore.)

But that is just my experience.
LaFonda
If any one calls me a pet name and talk about love within two exchange of emails, they are block.
garnet4000
Most scammers on here use very bad English (level of the Kindergarten). That's because they are really from overseas and using Google Translate to write to you, but of course, they will try to appear to be an American man.
Way too fast they will ask you what you do for living. Do not answer it. Yet. I say I do what it takes.
Most scammers will try to get you off this site way too fast, offering to exchange emails, phone numbers or Hangout apps or whatever. Do not do it. I always say to them: all communications will be on here only until AFTER I meet you in person. And even then only if I liked you in person than and only than will i provide my number.
Most scammers have real problem with posting additional 5-6 photos of himself. That's because he stole few on the Internet and has nothing left to steal of the same person in the photo because IT IS NOT HIM. Do not ever give your email, number so he can text you his additional photos. IF HE WAS ABLE TO POST HIS PHOTO (OR TWO) ON HER, THERE IS NO REASON ON EARTH WHY HE COULD NOT POST ADDITIONAL PHOTOS OF HIMSELF ON HERE AGAIN.
He wants to get your personal email, phone number to contaminate it with computer viruses Trojans etc. that will steal your passwords to bank accounts etc. and sell it on dark web.
Ladies, for crying out loud, use your heads, don't be a "fruit cake"!
Have standards. It's up to you to have them and stick by them.
Your goal is to make him meet you in person, in public place, as soon as possible. face to face. So you can judge that he is real and then using your intuition you will see what he is all about.
cheffy777
yep they caught me once on here ,but the thing is they all have the same style asking you to join them on another website and want photos
Idylla
Last and first scammer I have met here was from US (was telling this) and said is working now in Africa!
Of course many compliments every day, after 3 days he already loved me.
One day he pretended he got an email from his bank that his account are blocked because he was divorcing.
And he acted like he is in shock, panic and asked me to send him cash "only 2000 Euro".
He promised he will give back as soon as possible as he has to pay salary to his workers.
Of course "he was a businessman having own bussines" and also this account was blocked.
After I said "NO. SORRY" He became very angry, agressive, and started to offend me".
I have never seen him in real (on video etc) only photos ...
Dreamdiva18
Scammers get into your head,showering you with flattery and compliments to gain your trust.Once they see that you have succumb to their " flattery and "fake" attention, and gained your trust by telling you " so much about themselves" All lies of course. Then comes the first part of the scam. They tell you things like their baby sister needs surgery but the family cant afford it.Or they have a "friend" who is in trouble and asked them for financial help but as" they "dont make much money , they are unable to help their "desperate friend".
Hoping to appeal to you as their compassionate good friend to stump up and send money to a PO Box in Tunisia, Ghana , Ivory Coast etc etc.
Another one is that the would love to visit you. They will claim to have been to your country before , but of course they are strapped for cash.
Another scam is pretending to be in the Military or they are Bank Manager.(why would a bank manager be offering you a job via a date site ?.Go figure it out.
They lying , scamming slugs out to decieve you and con you out of money.So no matter how much they flatter you, write you gushy poems and declare their " fake love" for you. Take it like you would dog sh*t on your shoe.Cause these con artists are lower than a snails A*s..Word of advice. Dont get involved. Preventions better than cure.
munchken43
Mist scammers are Nigerian, or African, but not all men are scammers. Just beware dont jump into anything.
munchken43
They wont skype with you, they are using some poor souls picture, ask you for a lot of info dont give any. Compliments come out of their mouths like honey.
munchken43
they will tell you anything they want your money. Dont talk to them
WhyNotAgain4love
Very true. And they NEVER answer your questions.

One that I received ask me if I studied literature, because I write like a poet or author. That triggered my antenna. She never answered my questions but always asking me. The next thing, she asked for my WhatsApp number. So I ask her if she wanted my account number too? And that was the last I heard of her.
All scammers tell you what they know you want to hear. They only set you up to either, send them money or get them out of the country they are in. They need a sponsor to do it, and that costs money even just to meet you.
I have found in the past 20yrs it's all the same, they want something. I found the best way is to insists they come and meet you, if they make excuses or say they do not have the money to come, or ask you to send the money for their ticket,m forget them.doh
NOSTRUS
As a woman it's I'm sure an entirely different approach than how women scam men .I'd say I get at least 5 a week on this site . In fact any message from outside of my own country I start to think SCAMMER straight away . I've blocked all of north America so I think if I'm still get Americans contacting me every day they're most likely scammers .when you're an older woman like me they flatter you hugely think you'll be taken in by being told all this wonderful stuff . So I prefer a normal guy normal take your time conversation. If a man is effusive telling you how wonderful you are etc etc after just a few messages back away he's most likely insincere a con artist regardless of his nationality . You soon get to recognize the scammers for a start he'll be widowed on 150000 plus a year with a phd even though by his command of written word you know english isn't his first laguage hel'l mention "god fearing "....and marriage in his profile often . Its amaxing how many still getting conned by these criminal types .
needyoubyfastway
scammers the most polite and complimentary because they need yours money ,feelings and time !!!!
Oh yes ... here are unfortunately many scammers ... (black hair and black eyes) ... ??
yeah ... but in the picture they are blond, gray haired or bald. And the lyrics are mostly copy and paste .... oh yes and they like to travel

But even non-scammers here on CS are not easy.

The first contact goes well ... you exchange "inconsequential".

Then days later, phone numbers for whatsapp or hangout are exchanged. (Suddenly you can see the phone number is from Michigan but he supposedly lives in Plainfield Indiana.) Thank goodness the voice and the videochat is real, you write every day and on the day you even create a video chat and a phone call.??
But from now on, he does not write anymore. Even spontaneous calls or selfies are no longer there. The last thing he wrote was ... I'm fine and i miss you.
He does not answer calls or does not answer messages ...

With the help of a good friend (sheriff ...) we found out with our information and pictures that he has a solid relationship for many years ..... so probably little time but supposedly much to do at work.

That was an American man .... no scammer.

(This kind of playing i think synonymous unserious).

thumbs down
tongue
TD6677
Uhhh, well...here’s the thing, I don’t see how a person could EVER fall “in-love” with a person whom they’ve never met face-to-face and actually spent a significant amount of time with in-order to actually develop true feelings of love and not just a surge of chemicals being released in your brain due to this fantasy person you’ve concocted. Ladies and gentlemen, keep your feelings at-bay until you’ve actually met the person and have actually gone on at least a few real dates lol. Anyone asking for something like money is an automatic call-them-out and end contact for me...put your feelings aside and think with your brain analytically, no need to contact authorities because scammers are like roaches, they are impossible to get rid of, so don’t get yourself worked up over something that cannot truly be created in cyber space (love). Just keep your senses about you and be smart, there should NEVER be a time when a person is scammed online by anyone as long as you’re smart and don’t allow your emotions to rule you, learn to master your emotions before you decide to pursue dating ANYONE :p
Naturalofcourse
Most likely because they think the people will fall for their scam as they sound the perfect person and like all these things if sounding too good to be true it will case as I have read many of these scammers profiles and it is too easy to fall for them if you are new to this type of dating.
Hilow
Not being separate from life, "which is the real cheater," have not arisen yet from sensuality and pleasure-
The entire creation is a cheat in disguise and our creator is the best deceiver.
FantasyArtMan
I just want to say that all nice, polite and complimentary guys aren't "scammers"! I have no real experience with any "scamming" on this or any other site, beyond the relatively obvious "working girls". So I have no idea what others are experiencing, but some nice people are just that, and I hate to see a whole genre of personalities lumped in with the dregs of the society! I hope the whole world doesn't turn into a sea of jaded mistrust and suspicion, but I understand the effects of a con. Hopefully we can keep a sliver of trust in our hearts that SOME things are just as they seem, and not every person or event is filled with a conspiracy of hate and fear.
SimplyAsia1215
Thank you for this Article. It was very helpful.
Jhergeorgeatchi
Yes, it's BS with the scammers on this website. I got pulled in by 2 ladies and of course they were willing to give me love and affection compassion romantic which I like. But all they wanted to talk about after that was they wanted money money money money. I don't mind sharing equally but crap that's all they were interested in was money. I'm not rich but not poor. Money really shouldn't be that important if a person is in love. I'm descusted how now a days that's a person's firs thing to talk about.
xtraspecman
Seems to me, this site is a store front for scammers. I receive likes and messages from at least 3 a day. Mostly beautiful woman that are clearly out of my league and my territory, easy enough to ignore. The latest was local "love1woman", been messaging for about a week, now claims she wants me to send gas money so she can drive an hour to meet me. lol
AmynFriend81
The title of this thread seems to be an ASSUMPTION and not on track with the Toltec agreemens (if you want to live in peace) that I remind:

Be Impeccable With Your Word. <=========================
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Don't Make Assumptions. <===========================
Always Do Your Best.


Better use the tips in my previous comment to guess if your interlocutor is very probably a scammer.

If you want to judge/think he is a scammer because he is very polite and complimentary then it is up to you.

regards,
AmynFriend81
Dear all,

Other tips to guess scammers in order to report/block them:

They are very lazy in general:

They copy/paste an existing Description somewhere in the WEB (Long in general) so if you google their profile description you ll find very probably that the person is flagged as a scammer or some other indications can help you state that.

If the scammer gives his Skype ID and pretend to be in a country like the US or in europe etc.. you can google a website called "Skype Resolver" who gives you the country of last connexion of the skype id ;)

You can google their Photo using the menu image of , to see if the image do not belong to someone in Facebook or to a public person somewhere in the world.

If the decription say the weight is 40 kg (88 pounds) and the picture show the inverse then it's a scam...same for color hair etc..

Above were my advices, and below are the ones from the FBI:

Recognizing an Online Dating Scam Artist

Your online “date” may only be interested in your money if he or she:

Presses you to leave the dating website you met through and to communicate using personal e-mail or instant messaging;

Professes instant feelings of love;

Sends you a photograph of himself or herself that looks like something from a glamour magazine;

Claims to be from the U.S. and is traveling or working overseas;

Makes plans to visit you but is then unable to do so because of a tragic event; or

Asks for money for a variety of reasons (travel, medical emergencies, hotel bills, hospitals bills for child or other relative, visas or other official documents, losses from a financial setback or crime victimization).



Be Safe,
Sunfun1
Having quite a bit of knowledge in cyber security, here are some indicators to look for: only one photo or multi photos that don't match stated things in profiles. ie elegant pictures with low income or pictures that don't appear to match age. Excessive income for job or geographic area, immediately providing or asking for phone numbers or email address. Poor grammer and / or spelling for stated geographic or education level. Not responding to the things you talk about in your sent messages. Seeming over eager to say they like you or want marriage. Be safe out there :)
1rubberducky
I have seen both sides...being a guy and hanging with CO workers and friends...I realize guys are insensitive to the way women think...guys are logical...in your face bold...women are sensitive,nurturers ...they are trained from a young age to believe in fairy tales...Cinderella,Prince charming,...2.1 kids..white picket fence and happily ever after
I guess it's what a person individually is willing to accept as a moral compass...if you are looking in the mirror and you do the opposite of what you want...then you get what you open yourself to.
I tend to agree with the commentary... Scammers have a agenda to part you from your money..lets face it...easiest way to do it is through flattery...if it smells like a fish it likely is...use common sense...when it comes to choosing someone...matters of the heart can wait until they prove themselves trustworthy....my humble opinion...for what it's worth...scott
DeafPower
That's you one who are fake !!!
Demi7
doh Real men do not tel you sweet bull all the time. So if u need that you have a problem. How can a man make u a compiment if he doesn`t know you. If you need a guy telling you how beautiful u re and blah blah blah you have a problem not the men. Only men that only ant money or into your pants would act like that.
real Men tell you the truth , mean men tell you what u want to hear . doh you have to be very naiv to think if a guy stars telling u all those sweet words and he never ever met you and spend time with u in person that this guy is worth a dime! Those are the first I block!rolling on the floor laughing

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