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Dating When You Are Over Forty

Dating When You Are Over Forty

By the time you are forty, you have probably reached a certain level of emotional maturity that you did not possess in younger years. In addition, you will have accumulated greater baggage. Your knowledge and bias based on past relationships is bound to influence your experience of dating when you are a more mature dater. However, if you use balanced knowledge wisely, and understand how previous dating situations might influence you, there is no reason why dating in your forties need not be rewarding.

Mistakes you do not need to make again

If you ever dated someone who showed signs of being poor relationship material before and suffered the consequences, now is the time to cash in on what you have learned. Usually, when someone seems like a bad egg, he or she is a bad egg. In the past, you might have thought that you could transform your crummy date with love and understanding. However, now you know differently and can leave such a person where you find them, safe in the knowledge that having a relationship with him or her would have been a disaster.

In addition, there will have been occasions when you dated people who developed into bad partners. Your relationships started out looking promising, but went downhill rapidly, until you were dumped. Dejected and sad, you sat around wondering what was wrong with you instead of recognizing what was wrong with them, or simply that you were poor matches and had grown apart. These days, you can spot warning signs that your relationships are unhealthy before they develop into heartache.

Baggage

Emotional baggage can be a burden if you do not recognize it and take steps to manage debris from the past. Previous relationships that went wrong might have left a sour taste in your mouth. The result is likely to be that you are wary of bonding with anyone new and suspicious about his or her intentions and behavior. Luckily, you have the power to deal with the fall out stemming from past relationship blunders.

Recognize whether you hold any grudges against previous partners. If simply thinking about someone fills you with remorse or anger, you probably have not closed the chapter that occurred when you parted ways. Maybe, you can remember arguments in full or cannot look at photographs of you together without feeling emotional.

There are several actions that you can take in order to get over relationship memories that make you blue. You can imagine that the person in question is in front of you, and tell them how you feel. Get all of your angst and repressed feelings out by saying them aloud. Allow yourself to become angry if this is how you feel. However, when you have said all you need to say, verbally forgive the individual and decide to conclude that you want him or her to lead a happy life without you. Letting go will free you and help you enter new relationships with a clean slate.

Nonetheless, if you still feel the burn of old relationship pain, make sure that you are aware about how your past might creep into present dating situations. For example, if someone cheated on you previously, recognize that you might become jealous, possessive, or paranoid. If you notice such emotions occurring, ask yourself if there is any real evidence to support your concerns. Try not to jump to conclusions, and do give your new partner a chance to prove him or herself before you react to circumstances that you might have judged incorrectly.

There is no reason why beginning new relationships cannot be fun. Bring knowledge gleaned from the past to the fore, and do not let past experiences hinder your perception. You might just discover that dating in your forties is superior to dating when you were younger.

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